72. Soundbite: Stroke Recovery Reflections: Five Years, Les…
Send us a text In this week's Survivor Science Soundbite, recorded on the Monday before Christmas, I reflect on five transformative years s…
Dec. 24, 2024
72. Soundbite: Stroke Recovery Reflections: Five Years, Lessons, and the Holiday Crunch
In this week's Survivor Science Soundbite, recorded on the Monday before Christmas, I reflect on five transformative years since my stroke on December 22, 2019. From navigating the early days of recovery to balancing progress with setbacks like MS, I share the challenges, milestones, and lessons learned along the way.
This episode explores the raw truth about recovery: it is relentless, unpredictable, and deeply personal. I discuss the importance of meditation, breathwork, and leaning into growth, even when it feels impossible. Plus, I emphasize why asking for help and checking in with survivors during the holidays is more critical than ever.
There will not be a full episode this week because of Christmas on Wednesday, but I will be back with a follow-up at the end of the week.
Whether you are a survivor, caregiver, or someone seeking insight into resilience, this episode is a heartfelt look at what it means to rebuild a life after a stroke. Tune in to reflect, connect, and find inspiration for your own journey.
Happy Holidays, and remember you are not alone!
This holiday season, for our first hundred new members: get 50% off with code BF50 at checkout. Lock in savings for the full year with annual membership, or start quarterly.
Hey there! If you’re a stroke survivor, caregiver, or someone navigating recovery, I want to invite you to check out The Center by Survivor Science. Head over to center.survivorscience.com and join a community that understands what you're going through.
And if you’re not quite ready to join, that’s okay! You can still access free resources at survivorscience.com
💖 Let's Connect! Bye for Now 👋 (IYKYK)
Email - podcast [at] survivorscience [.] com
💖 Check out the new websites!!⤵️
🧪 🔗 https://center.survivorscience.com/
🧪 🔗 https://survivorscience.com/
🎙️🔗 https://podcast.survivorsciencecom/
X/Twitter - https://twitter.com/SurvivorSciHQ
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/willschmierer/
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@SurvivorScienceHQ
IG- https://www.instagram.com/SurvivorScienceHQ/
Medical Disclaimer: All content found on this channel is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information provided, while based on personal experiences, should not replace professional medical counsel. Always consult with your physician or another qualified health provider for any questions you have regarding a medical condition or treatment. Always seek professional advice before starting a new exercise or therapy...
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:05.009 --> 00:00:07.830
Welcome to another episode of survivor science soundbites.
00:00:08.490 --> 00:00:11.039
This week, we are playing a little bit of catch-up.
00:00:11.070 --> 00:00:12.990
I recorded an episode on Friday.
00:00:13.410 --> 00:00:14.880
Got close to the end.
00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:17.339
And then my computer just decided to.
00:00:18.300 --> 00:00:20.129
Not finish recording.
00:00:20.160 --> 00:00:21.269
So I apologize for that.
00:00:21.269 --> 00:00:23.460
But Friday episodes are usually a wrap-up.
00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:27.059
I figured with everything going on the holidays, kicking off.
00:00:27.420 --> 00:00:29.429
Really into the crunch time now.
00:00:30.089 --> 00:00:31.439
That I recorded an episode.
00:00:32.009 --> 00:00:34.469
Over the weekend, which I definitely did not do.
00:00:34.979 --> 00:00:39.119
However it is now the Monday before Christmas, December 23rd.
00:00:39.810 --> 00:00:40.859
And I figured.
00:00:41.369 --> 00:00:43.799
What better time to record an episode.
00:00:44.189 --> 00:00:45.750
Then the Monday before Christmas.
00:00:46.250 --> 00:00:49.820
So last week we talked about hard things, doing hard things.
00:00:50.630 --> 00:00:53.179
We talk about that a lot growth recovery.
00:00:53.990 --> 00:00:55.039
What that all means.
00:00:55.039 --> 00:00:58.340
We talked about relentless last Monday by Tim Grover.
00:00:59.149 --> 00:01:01.640
And we talked about Oh, what's the book by Jim.
00:01:01.759 --> 00:01:03.469
Uh, limitless by Jim quick.
00:01:04.789 --> 00:01:07.129
I recorded the whole episode on Friday and got.
00:01:08.030 --> 00:01:10.340
The 25 minute mark, and then it just.
00:01:10.969 --> 00:01:11.840
Crashed on me.
00:01:11.870 --> 00:01:12.530
So.
00:01:13.250 --> 00:01:17.539
I decided not to rerecord and I would just wait till today.
00:01:18.920 --> 00:01:22.879
'cause last week towards the end of the week, I realized also.
00:01:23.659 --> 00:01:27.079
That I had my dates mixed up for the last couple of years.
00:01:28.009 --> 00:01:30.590
Now that's not terribly important, really?
00:01:30.590 --> 00:01:33.259
In hindsight, in the grand scheme of things.
00:01:34.579 --> 00:01:36.439
But I did realize my stroke.
00:01:36.539 --> 00:01:37.948
I've talked about it for a while.
00:01:37.948 --> 00:01:44.879
And yesterday was in fact, the five year anniversary since my stroke in 2019.
00:01:46.679 --> 00:01:48.539
Again, it's not terribly important.
00:01:48.659 --> 00:01:50.759
I do not like the term stroke.
00:01:50.759 --> 00:01:51.478
Aversary.
00:01:52.319 --> 00:01:53.879
I'm not against it.
00:01:53.879 --> 00:01:55.198
It's just not my jam.
00:01:55.289 --> 00:01:55.890
I.
00:01:57.179 --> 00:02:03.929
I've learned a lot of things over the last couple of years, I'm not going to talk about the five things I learned over the last five years, but I do want to look back and reflect.
00:02:03.929 --> 00:02:05.069
I think it's important.
00:02:05.099 --> 00:02:07.079
Not only for me, but for the audience.
00:02:07.859 --> 00:02:12.180
Because if you listen to this show, you know, I've come a long way.
00:02:12.479 --> 00:02:14.218
There's a lot more work to do.
00:02:15.389 --> 00:02:16.680
It's an interesting time.
00:02:16.680 --> 00:02:18.088
I did a little bit of a.
00:02:18.870 --> 00:02:23.039
A, uh, Instagram real was shared over to Facebook yesterday.
00:02:23.699 --> 00:02:24.658
I feel.
00:02:25.588 --> 00:02:33.360
Lucky to be alive, but I also think there, I think for a lot of people, including myself, sometimes we post on social media.
00:02:34.019 --> 00:02:35.490
You see a lot of the good things.
00:02:35.610 --> 00:02:38.370
Honestly, I've never been against posting the bad things.
00:02:38.430 --> 00:02:38.939
I think.
00:02:39.269 --> 00:02:39.810
For me.
00:02:40.680 --> 00:02:42.509
And I gave this some thought it's it said.
00:02:42.810 --> 00:02:45.060
It's not that I've never wanted to share the bad things.
00:02:45.060 --> 00:02:49.649
It's that I really genuinely couldn't even figure out how to share the bad things in the early days.
00:02:50.550 --> 00:02:51.000
Yes.
00:02:51.778 --> 00:02:55.949
My wife did take some pictures in rehab early on.
00:02:56.639 --> 00:02:59.459
Yes, I did not want them posted.
00:02:59.519 --> 00:03:04.408
Uh, I did post some stuff, but then I wound up later deleting my Instagram account.
00:03:05.099 --> 00:03:11.729
And all my social media in 2020 before coming back onto social media in 21 and 22.
00:03:12.658 --> 00:03:15.718
And some parts, reluctantly 23, even this year.
00:03:17.099 --> 00:03:20.699
And it was never about not wanting to share the journey.
00:03:21.449 --> 00:03:21.689
Yeah.
00:03:22.229 --> 00:03:28.588
That's silly because I have a podcast where now I've had one for a couple of years, but I kind of changed it last year.
00:03:28.889 --> 00:03:30.000
Focusing over here.
00:03:30.599 --> 00:03:38.310
On survivor science and finally getting that all under control and under the umbrella of the server science brand that had been building the last two years.
00:03:39.778 --> 00:03:41.939
And really helping other survivors know.
00:03:42.810 --> 00:03:44.549
Just how hard it is.
00:03:44.650 --> 00:03:46.840
You know, that's why I love talking about doing hard things.
00:03:46.840 --> 00:03:48.759
It's because this is really.
00:03:50.449 --> 00:03:52.280
Really fucking hard.
00:03:52.340 --> 00:03:58.009
And for anybody that tells you otherwise is either delusional or very lucky.
00:03:58.639 --> 00:04:00.590
Different set of circumstances.
00:04:01.020 --> 00:04:01.439
Yeah.
00:04:01.469 --> 00:04:03.360
I mean, let's not sugarcoat it.
00:04:03.389 --> 00:04:04.830
There really is no reason to.
00:04:05.550 --> 00:04:12.030
In fact, many stroke survivors that I talked to really don't want to sugar coat it because honestly, Sugar coating.
00:04:12.060 --> 00:04:15.030
It does nothing for anybody along the way.
00:04:15.030 --> 00:04:15.780
It's it?
00:04:15.900 --> 00:04:17.670
I think some people do it unintentionally.
00:04:17.670 --> 00:04:18.180
I think.
00:04:18.779 --> 00:04:20.009
I've done it to myself.
00:04:20.040 --> 00:04:26.399
I think a lot of times in the early days, some people are, think they're helping by protecting you.
00:04:27.569 --> 00:04:29.399
They want to give you optimism and hope.
00:04:29.430 --> 00:04:32.730
And there certainly there is a solid point to that.
00:04:33.230 --> 00:04:33.920
But it's hard.
00:04:33.949 --> 00:04:35.930
It really is hard being a stroke.
00:04:35.930 --> 00:04:37.459
Survivor is no joke.
00:04:37.610 --> 00:04:42.709
I still believe it is one of the hardest things that you can potentially overcome.
00:04:43.939 --> 00:04:46.069
What do I say potentially, because.
00:04:47.089 --> 00:04:51.259
It's different for everybody, but I think there are it's different.
00:04:51.589 --> 00:04:53.449
In a lot of ways think cancer.
00:04:53.480 --> 00:04:57.170
Sometimes you can do everything right with cancer and you may not win.
00:04:57.670 --> 00:05:04.000
When you think about Ms and ALS and some of the other things, they're a little different.
00:05:05.649 --> 00:05:07.870
Stroke tends to not be a progressive.
00:05:08.350 --> 00:05:12.579
Disease like you have this joke is, uh, we all know.
00:05:13.480 --> 00:05:15.519
It will mess you up in a lot of ways.
00:05:15.610 --> 00:05:17.949
Uh, seemingly unexplainable.
00:05:17.980 --> 00:05:23.470
I mean, I think a lot of us probably could go back and be like, oh, if I had done this different, if I had done that different.
00:05:24.279 --> 00:05:27.579
Maybe it would have never had this stroke, but there are plenty of survivors out there.
00:05:27.579 --> 00:05:31.000
I think they say it's like 80, 20, 20% have done everything right.
00:05:31.000 --> 00:05:31.689
Their entire life.
00:05:31.720 --> 00:05:32.709
They still have a stroke.
00:05:33.970 --> 00:05:36.670
You know, the data's kind of skewed, but either way, right.
00:05:36.699 --> 00:05:38.350
If you're lucky enough to survive.
00:05:39.189 --> 00:05:45.910
You know, it's hard, whether it's hard mentally, physically, emotionally it's really freaking hard and I cannot.
00:05:46.839 --> 00:05:48.250
Emphasize that enough.
00:05:48.430 --> 00:05:51.279
Uh, doctors emphasize that to me in the beginning.
00:05:52.029 --> 00:05:54.129
If you're like me, you probably didn't want to hear it.
00:05:54.129 --> 00:05:55.569
You're like, no, I'll show you.
00:05:56.319 --> 00:05:58.480
I've had that attitude the last five years.
00:05:59.410 --> 00:05:59.920
I listen.
00:06:00.610 --> 00:06:03.430
It's a great attitude to have, but it's still really.
00:06:03.970 --> 00:06:04.899
Freaking hard.
00:06:04.949 --> 00:06:11.339
So I'm not going to circle back really to last, week's doing hard things, because this is more of a.
00:06:12.360 --> 00:06:15.329
Taking a little time to share some of the things that I've learned.
00:06:15.329 --> 00:06:17.819
Some of the things that I've thought about, like, I really.
00:06:19.050 --> 00:06:22.019
Want to share kind of the five years.
00:06:22.800 --> 00:06:23.759
Backstory.
00:06:24.720 --> 00:06:26.339
But also like how.
00:06:27.269 --> 00:06:28.379
Just how hard it is.
00:06:28.470 --> 00:06:30.449
What are some of the lessons that I learned?
00:06:30.660 --> 00:06:33.300
Really, I mean, it is sharing my journey, but I want to share it.
00:06:34.259 --> 00:06:39.720
With you for you so that you kinda know, because if you're earlier on or you haven't heard my story.
00:06:40.259 --> 00:06:41.550
I think it's important.
00:06:41.819 --> 00:06:44.189
And, you know, I'm reluctant to be.
00:06:45.720 --> 00:06:47.040
A certain way sometimes.
00:06:47.970 --> 00:06:49.589
And this is part of the lessons like.
00:06:51.420 --> 00:06:53.000
You know, this is not about me.
00:06:53.000 --> 00:06:54.500
It's about sharing the lessons.
00:06:54.500 --> 00:06:57.500
So hopefully you can glean something from it, take something from it.
00:06:58.069 --> 00:07:00.470
Interpret it, however, you'd like, I mean, I really just want to be.
00:07:01.730 --> 00:07:04.160
You know, I just want to reflect back and see like, okay.
00:07:04.220 --> 00:07:04.879
Yeah, progress.
00:07:04.939 --> 00:07:05.269
Good.
00:07:05.329 --> 00:07:08.209
More specifically, maybe then I have on other episodes.
00:07:09.649 --> 00:07:21.620
So again, I think we'll just kind of go through my story and the last five years, so you can see the progression and how things changed and kind of get a really comprehensive glimpse and overview of the last five years.
00:07:21.649 --> 00:07:26.720
Because again, So today is, uh, Monday, December 23rd.
00:07:26.839 --> 00:07:28.730
The reason for.
00:07:30.079 --> 00:07:31.490
Well, because I didn't record her the weekend.
00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:33.350
So let's be clear I'm recording today.
00:07:33.350 --> 00:07:35.240
So let's go back five years.
00:07:35.240 --> 00:07:40.129
So five years ago, December 23rd, 2019 was also a Monday.
00:07:41.060 --> 00:07:41.540
And.
00:07:42.439 --> 00:07:47.839
That was the day that they finally confirmed because they were going to do a procedure.
00:07:48.100 --> 00:07:49.000
This morning.
00:07:49.750 --> 00:07:52.180
Five years ago, December, 2019.
00:07:52.480 --> 00:07:53.079
Two.
00:07:53.920 --> 00:08:00.879
Shock my heart into rhythm, which is why I was admitted to the hospital in the first place, because they saw on a scan.
00:08:02.259 --> 00:08:02.500
Yeah.
00:08:02.529 --> 00:08:04.149
When I was getting checked in.
00:08:05.350 --> 00:08:08.230
They wound up admitting me because they're like, oh, you have a fab.
00:08:08.259 --> 00:08:08.889
Did you know that?
00:08:08.889 --> 00:08:09.970
I was like, no, I had no idea.
00:08:09.970 --> 00:08:11.199
I had, I fed that like, okay.
00:08:11.949 --> 00:08:14.829
So they admitted me to the hospital here in Jacksonville, Florida.
00:08:15.939 --> 00:08:18.730
Only because of the AFib and they were going to do a procedure.
00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:21.430
Again, this, it would have been this Monday, five years ago.
00:08:22.480 --> 00:08:29.949
To get my heart shocked back into sinus rhythm, and hopefully I'd recover after a day and be able to go home for Christmas.
00:08:30.970 --> 00:08:34.090
Well yesterday, December, 2019.
00:08:34.090 --> 00:08:36.549
So December 22nd, 2019.
00:08:37.570 --> 00:08:39.100
Somewhere during the day.
00:08:39.820 --> 00:08:44.740
Unbeknownst to me and the people around me, I had a stroke in the hospital.
00:08:45.340 --> 00:08:46.840
Unbeknownst to the staff.
00:08:46.879 --> 00:08:52.940
Again, holiday time, different staff people covering shifts, not your usual on staff people.
00:08:54.559 --> 00:09:01.850
Again, I was scheduled for a Purdue team procedure to shock my heart back into rhythm, to hopefully get rid of the AFib.
00:09:02.929 --> 00:09:04.250
And be on my Merry way.
00:09:04.309 --> 00:09:07.159
Well, again, I had the stroke five years ago yesterday.
00:09:08.210 --> 00:09:15.259
And, uh, That's the day that forever changed my life and it's You know, it's been a really long journey back.
00:09:15.289 --> 00:09:16.309
It's been difficult.
00:09:16.340 --> 00:09:23.929
I won't go through all the things, but I wanna know going into inpatient in 20 January 20, January 1st, 2021.
00:09:24.860 --> 00:09:27.049
To a facility here in Jacksonville, Florida called Brooks.
00:09:27.470 --> 00:09:28.100
There are amazing.
00:09:28.230 --> 00:09:31.799
Went there for 30 days kind of got decent enough to be home.
00:09:31.980 --> 00:09:34.860
Uh, with some rehab, wasn't walking, but.
00:09:36.570 --> 00:09:43.740
Watch the Superbowl, February, 2020 woke up the Monday morning after thought I was having a second stroke, turns out, got diagnosed with Ms.
00:09:43.740 --> 00:09:44.700
Went back to rehab.
00:09:45.389 --> 00:09:48.269
All of which happened before the pandemic in 2020.
00:09:48.269 --> 00:09:49.740
So year one.
00:09:50.279 --> 00:09:51.149
Once I got home.
00:09:52.679 --> 00:09:54.539
Uh, I think I came home.
00:09:54.629 --> 00:09:58.289
Uh, either on or after the day after St.
00:09:58.289 --> 00:10:00.360
Patty's day in 2020.
00:10:01.259 --> 00:10:05.580
Stayed home for two weeks, kinda got ready to go back to work way too soon.
00:10:06.210 --> 00:10:10.379
Went back to work January 1st, I work remotely, so I thought I could do it.
00:10:10.409 --> 00:10:13.710
It was very clear, very quickly that I was not ready, prepared.
00:10:14.250 --> 00:10:15.389
Or any of things.
00:10:15.389 --> 00:10:19.799
So we kind of worked on what I could do working part time.
00:10:20.730 --> 00:10:22.649
Slowly going and getting better.
00:10:23.309 --> 00:10:24.570
Going through therapies.
00:10:24.669 --> 00:10:30.399
So I did that for a few months working part-time for the company that I had been employed up until the, my stroke.
00:10:31.659 --> 00:10:41.710
Really good really worked out well, got that whole summer and the pandemic to kind of get back on my feet and by the middle or end of the summer.
00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:47.509
I was back working full-time again, probably too soon, but that's the way it goes.
00:10:48.769 --> 00:10:51.860
And in year one, I was lucky because there was a pandemic.
00:10:51.860 --> 00:10:57.830
So I pretty much was at home and or therapy or at home because I work remotely.
00:10:57.830 --> 00:10:58.580
So I was either.
00:10:59.029 --> 00:11:00.019
On the computer working.
00:11:00.769 --> 00:11:03.049
In my home resting, relaxing breeding.
00:11:04.009 --> 00:11:07.940
Kind of letting my brain really rest when I wasn't working.
00:11:07.970 --> 00:11:11.029
And I think it was a good mix between resting.
00:11:11.899 --> 00:11:13.490
Pandemic rehab.
00:11:14.059 --> 00:11:17.809
Work, you know, it was able to get my body and my mind working a little bit.
00:11:18.559 --> 00:11:20.389
It's still in the wheelchair most of the year.
00:11:20.889 --> 00:11:31.120
But slowly kind of able to begin to recover and do some things and move around the house with aided devices, like a Walker.
00:11:32.320 --> 00:11:36.820
You know, A decent size home, but, uh, and big open space enough to use the Walker.
00:11:36.820 --> 00:11:40.899
So year one, really, I focus on rest and recovery.
00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:44.320
I would recommend that highly to anybody that's stroke survivor.
00:11:45.759 --> 00:11:48.340
Going into year two, started to try to do more.
00:11:48.370 --> 00:11:52.149
Went into coaching, went into a program for coaching.
00:11:52.779 --> 00:11:57.399
Getting, uh, being a certified coat loop life coach through ICF.
00:11:58.659 --> 00:12:02.198
And then, uh, an, a school on the west coast, uh, online.
00:12:03.188 --> 00:12:04.389
Amazing program.
00:12:04.419 --> 00:12:12.789
At that time I sort of realized, you know, went through a transition with work where I was like, okay, You know, this isn't, I can't do this the way I used to be able to do it.
00:12:12.789 --> 00:12:14.169
And it's just not fair to me.
00:12:14.649 --> 00:12:18.580
Or the team and ultimately I ended up leaving.
00:12:18.850 --> 00:12:20.470
My previous career.
00:12:22.299 --> 00:12:25.688
Because I just needed more time to do more work on myself.
00:12:25.720 --> 00:12:30.850
And so by the middle of 2021, I had left.
00:12:31.809 --> 00:12:38.019
Really started focusing on getting into the gym, rehabbing my body, uh, in a much more significant way.
00:12:39.159 --> 00:12:46.899
Dilla that sort of working for myself, getting things together, getting things organized and You know, more of the same in year two.
00:12:47.710 --> 00:12:55.438
Starting to build the business making networking, connecting, getting ready for my daughter to college that year she was graduating high school.
00:12:56.129 --> 00:13:00.668
A lot of things, just trying to get everything under control and you know, that went pretty well.
00:13:01.629 --> 00:13:02.259
Really.
00:13:03.399 --> 00:13:04.059
Really good.
00:13:04.179 --> 00:13:10.698
And then again, more of the same in year two in 2022.
00:13:12.438 --> 00:13:14.989
And really it's honestly, it's been more of the same each and every year.
00:13:14.989 --> 00:13:19.339
Just figuring out a little bit more, how to work better, how to work smarter.
00:13:19.578 --> 00:13:21.078
With myself and my business.
00:13:21.078 --> 00:13:21.529
And then.
00:13:22.029 --> 00:13:23.799
Really got into.
00:13:24.440 --> 00:13:26.539
Fitness and education.
00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:33.289
And just, uh, really trying to figure out, learn my body and my brain and rebuild and re.
00:13:34.519 --> 00:13:36.139
Do all these things.
00:13:37.629 --> 00:13:40.299
Yeah, pretty relentless in that area.
00:13:40.299 --> 00:13:40.750
So.
00:13:41.679 --> 00:13:44.139
Again, I, over the years I figured out meditation.
00:13:44.139 --> 00:13:45.639
I figured out breath work.
00:13:45.669 --> 00:13:48.309
I figured out how to rest and recover.
00:13:49.509 --> 00:13:56.139
Some of the things I didn't do so well, like really figuring out the handwriting, really figuring out how to type better.
00:13:56.649 --> 00:13:57.938
Really looking back.
00:13:59.169 --> 00:14:03.039
I'm reflecting back and I'm trying to think of like things that I wish.
00:14:04.328 --> 00:14:14.889
You know, I was trying to figure out how to network, how to build a business, how to be a creator, like, because when you own a business in 2024, Even 20, 22, it's like, you really need to be the face of the brand.
00:14:15.609 --> 00:14:17.349
Doing a lot of different things.
00:14:18.489 --> 00:14:20.818
And Yeah, building a podcast.
00:14:20.818 --> 00:14:25.168
I was still doing the other podcasts, but by the end of 2022, I realized, okay.
00:14:25.859 --> 00:14:27.359
Really want to work with survivors.
00:14:27.389 --> 00:14:28.828
This is kind of what I'm living.
00:14:28.859 --> 00:14:29.698
This is my life.
00:14:29.729 --> 00:14:31.078
There's an opportunity here.
00:14:32.219 --> 00:14:38.609
To really help people because even a couple of years ago, there were sure there's a lot of stroke survivors that read books and write books.
00:14:38.609 --> 00:14:39.359
And that's great.
00:14:40.349 --> 00:14:42.239
But I felt like I could be doing more.
00:14:42.658 --> 00:14:44.428
I still feel like I could be doing more.
00:14:44.428 --> 00:14:46.798
And that's really what this podcast is about.
00:14:46.828 --> 00:14:49.889
That's really why I finally have gotten everything together.
00:14:50.938 --> 00:14:52.168
With survivor science and.
00:14:52.229 --> 00:14:58.469
Building out the website and battling with the community portion, building the newsletter, building this podcast, like putting it all together.
00:14:59.308 --> 00:15:04.979
In a way that my name becomes synonymous with survivors science and really what that means is.
00:15:05.969 --> 00:15:06.568
Helping sucks.
00:15:06.778 --> 00:15:07.708
Uh, survivors.
00:15:07.798 --> 00:15:09.989
You know, beyond once.
00:15:10.318 --> 00:15:15.538
Cause when you think back to your own situation, you go to the hospital, you may go.
00:15:15.839 --> 00:15:16.438
To rehab.
00:15:16.469 --> 00:15:17.698
He may go inpatient.
00:15:18.629 --> 00:15:19.918
The resources are.
00:15:21.149 --> 00:15:23.879
Thin the resources are scattered.
00:15:24.239 --> 00:15:26.038
Everybody has different opinions.
00:15:26.038 --> 00:15:28.589
Some things work, some things don't even the.
00:15:29.129 --> 00:15:30.269
Everything different things.
00:15:30.269 --> 00:15:31.619
They're going to work for different people.
00:15:32.489 --> 00:15:36.568
Super important to have a variety of things, but even just finding things and.
00:15:37.499 --> 00:15:39.389
Bringing to them to your attention.
00:15:39.389 --> 00:15:49.379
I mean, that's really, a lot of my free time over the last couple of years has been behind Google, behind research libraries behind the actual library, like getting.
00:15:49.979 --> 00:15:54.538
Into what are the things that are going to work and trying those things trial and error.
00:15:54.928 --> 00:15:55.528
Testing.
00:15:56.458 --> 00:15:57.119
Is it working?
00:15:57.178 --> 00:15:58.438
Isn't it working like?
00:15:59.068 --> 00:16:03.658
Finding answers to questions that like, Even yesterday, I made a post on Instagram.
00:16:05.548 --> 00:16:08.849
You know, we're five years out from my original stroke.
00:16:08.908 --> 00:16:10.649
And you know, I've had hiccups along the way.
00:16:10.649 --> 00:16:11.009
Ms.
00:16:11.009 --> 00:16:12.208
Certainly hasn't helped.
00:16:12.269 --> 00:16:12.928
I've had.
00:16:14.428 --> 00:16:17.308
You know, probably some undiagnosed, Tia is a times.
00:16:17.408 --> 00:16:18.129
Definitely.
00:16:19.928 --> 00:16:24.278
Not necessarily classified seizures, but had times where I was unsure.
00:16:25.359 --> 00:16:27.458
I mean between 2020.
00:16:28.239 --> 00:16:30.429
You know, 2020 I was at home primarily.
00:16:31.869 --> 00:16:32.078
They've.
00:16:32.649 --> 00:16:36.548
You know, later in 2020, towards the end of 2020, I actually had the procedure.
00:16:36.548 --> 00:16:37.599
It was same day procedure.
00:16:37.629 --> 00:16:40.749
I think to get my sinus rhythm back in place.
00:16:41.649 --> 00:16:47.649
So that procedure I was supposed to have in December of 2019, because of COVID didn't get rescheduled for almost a year.
00:16:49.239 --> 00:16:53.078
Then in 2021, you know, is still dealing with wound care and leg care.
00:16:53.109 --> 00:16:54.999
And like that's a whole other thing.
00:16:56.139 --> 00:16:58.688
Lots of doctor's appointments throughout those years.
00:16:58.769 --> 00:17:02.129
I think, you know, 20, 22.
00:17:03.479 --> 00:17:04.858
More procedures.
00:17:05.009 --> 00:17:13.230
Uh, you know, they got me on the Keppra because I think I definitely had a seizure in 2020 or 2021.
00:17:13.450 --> 00:17:14.829
Honestly, I can't remember now.
00:17:15.329 --> 00:17:19.859
But haven't really had one since, but there've been moments where I was a little unsure.
00:17:20.910 --> 00:17:25.200
Luckily You know, working with my team, we've got the medications under control.
00:17:25.230 --> 00:17:26.730
That's been good for a while.
00:17:27.900 --> 00:17:29.069
There's just a lot.
00:17:30.359 --> 00:17:31.890
Of stuff to deal with.
00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:33.690
And so I'm all over the place.
00:17:33.690 --> 00:17:36.509
I'm just trying to reflect over the last five years and really try to.
00:17:37.619 --> 00:17:39.569
What are the things that have worked best.
00:17:39.720 --> 00:17:43.019
Number one, meditation, number two, breath work.
00:17:43.049 --> 00:17:47.369
Getting into that has helped with anxiety and relaxation and speaking.
00:17:48.119 --> 00:17:50.039
Podcasting has been great for speaking.
00:17:51.059 --> 00:17:52.710
Because honestly, I think.
00:17:53.430 --> 00:17:58.799
And I've always said this, and I don't know that I've said it here, but it wasn't the stroke that really affected my speech.
00:17:58.980 --> 00:18:02.759
The, my speech was more effected by the Ms and continues to be.
00:18:04.710 --> 00:18:06.569
Because no matter how much work I do.
00:18:07.619 --> 00:18:11.400
Ms is funny in the way that, like, I feel like with stroke, you can put in the work.
00:18:12.750 --> 00:18:14.490
And eventually you get a return.
00:18:15.329 --> 00:18:20.940
Ms is a little different where it's like, you can do a bunch of work and you'll get results, but then Ms.
00:18:20.940 --> 00:18:24.960
Will rear its ugly head and be like, oh, you did all that work.
00:18:25.019 --> 00:18:25.529
Cool.
00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:27.119
Let's start over again.
00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:31.160
Uh, you know, to be fair, I don't know that's entirely true or even fair.
00:18:31.759 --> 00:18:32.359
Are fair.
00:18:32.990 --> 00:18:33.769
Fair to Ms.
00:18:33.769 --> 00:18:34.640
Like, like I care.
00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:38.469
But yeah, there's a lot of two steps forward.
00:18:38.499 --> 00:18:39.519
One setback.
00:18:40.449 --> 00:18:50.519
And so if you're a stroke survivor, you may not experience this because I can't tell if it's stroke or Ms, because I have to deal with both to be perfectly clear about that.
00:18:50.619 --> 00:18:51.039
Neo.
00:18:52.449 --> 00:18:58.778
Thinking back to some of the things You know, all this is kind of goes back to last week's topic.
00:18:59.169 --> 00:19:01.989
Uh, doing a hard things and recovery and growth.
00:19:02.679 --> 00:19:06.919
And I really love that topic of post-traumatic growth, which bill guests.
00:19:07.098 --> 00:19:09.019
As I talked about on his podcast.
00:19:09.648 --> 00:19:10.848
And actually that's a concept.
00:19:10.898 --> 00:19:12.338
Bill's not the original inventor.
00:19:12.368 --> 00:19:17.409
There are some researchers that came up with this, uh, to that ski in Calhoun.
00:19:18.338 --> 00:19:23.229
About, uh, overcoming adversity and enhancing how it enhances personal strength and.
00:19:24.038 --> 00:19:28.179
A certain appreciation for life, but bill definitely talked about it and we talked about it on his episode.
00:19:28.179 --> 00:19:29.919
You can go back and listen to his podcast.
00:19:30.009 --> 00:19:31.419
Uh, recovery after stroke.
00:19:31.959 --> 00:19:33.878
And I was on episode 3, 27.
00:19:33.969 --> 00:19:35.769
I think he talks about it pretty regularly.
00:19:36.189 --> 00:19:37.028
On his show.
00:19:37.128 --> 00:19:38.419
And it can go listen to your show.
00:19:38.449 --> 00:19:41.479
If you haven't heard it before, it's also, uh, an amazing show.
00:19:43.009 --> 00:19:43.519
But yeah.
00:19:43.798 --> 00:19:46.409
You know, I feel like there's so much more to say.
00:19:47.308 --> 00:19:53.788
On the five-year mark and I'm blending my notes between what I already did on Friday and recorded that never did.
00:19:53.939 --> 00:19:55.288
I didn't actually get saved.
00:19:56.368 --> 00:19:57.088
My computer.
00:19:58.199 --> 00:20:00.179
Didn't have enough room to save it.
00:20:00.179 --> 00:20:01.229
So it didn't really crash.
00:20:01.259 --> 00:20:02.519
It just ran out of space.
00:20:02.578 --> 00:20:08.378
Uh, and before this episode runs as a space, I'm trying to wrap it up, but You know, th the thing is it's hard.
00:20:08.409 --> 00:20:10.298
It's really hard to overcome stroke.
00:20:10.959 --> 00:20:13.838
Most people will never thankfully have to experience it.
00:20:13.868 --> 00:20:15.909
However, If you do.
00:20:16.328 --> 00:20:24.368
Or, you know, somebody just know how hard it is, because I think one of the hardest things that I've had to deal with over the years is battling both my ego.
00:20:26.019 --> 00:20:27.939
Internally and externally and.
00:20:28.898 --> 00:20:32.588
I do make things look easy, kind of not intentional.
00:20:33.459 --> 00:20:35.318
But I was just thinking, cause it's the holidays.
00:20:35.318 --> 00:20:36.519
It's a couple of days before.
00:20:37.269 --> 00:20:43.179
Cards for family members, which is weird because I keep seeing these cards come in and I'm like, you know, it's so weird.
00:20:43.179 --> 00:20:49.269
How, when you become a stroke survivor, And this is part of my own doing, probably because I'm six foot eight.
00:20:50.348 --> 00:20:57.489
It's so strange because the majority of my extended family knows my story and knows my parents had passed the year before I had the stroke.
00:20:57.548 --> 00:20:58.179
They know.
00:20:58.989 --> 00:21:02.949
So many things, and it's just, it's weird when you get these cards.
00:21:03.638 --> 00:21:16.558
From family members and it's like, It's really surprising how your life changes after stroke and you lose friends and your family gets distant and It's so interesting that people feel obliged to send cards, but they don't.
00:21:17.189 --> 00:21:20.249
They don't feel obliged check-in over the years to see how you're doing.
00:21:20.939 --> 00:21:26.128
And they only check in as much as people that you don't know, check in on social media.
00:21:26.219 --> 00:21:27.269
It's just a really.
00:21:28.499 --> 00:21:29.969
Interesting experience.
00:21:29.969 --> 00:21:32.009
I don't know that everybody has the same experience.
00:21:32.009 --> 00:21:32.999
I hope they do not.
00:21:33.028 --> 00:21:38.578
But yeah, if you are a caregiver, caretaker, family member, or friend, go check in on those strokes hours in your life.
00:21:39.568 --> 00:21:45.239
Because again, it's really fucking hard and I don't think people realize just how hard it is.
00:21:45.288 --> 00:21:48.679
No matter how hard you work or how hard you want to work or how hard you do work.
00:21:49.669 --> 00:21:51.679
Life is not going to be the same.
00:21:51.709 --> 00:21:52.699
And so.
00:21:53.719 --> 00:21:56.058
Even as a stroke server, I look back on five years.
00:21:56.058 --> 00:21:57.439
I could say yes, I've come a really far.
00:21:57.469 --> 00:21:59.179
I'm really proud of how far I've come.
00:22:00.078 --> 00:22:02.449
But man, do I wish that I had asked for help?
00:22:02.838 --> 00:22:05.409
Along the way, uh, many times sooner.
00:22:06.548 --> 00:22:07.868
You know, I think that's important.
00:22:08.078 --> 00:22:09.818
I talk about it a lot on this show.
00:22:10.749 --> 00:22:14.048
Asking your immediate family asking your extended family.
00:22:14.648 --> 00:22:18.249
Just for some help and some guidance, because this is really hard to do alone.
00:22:18.278 --> 00:22:24.788
And probably my biggest mistake over the last five years is really thinking I could solve every problem that I faced.
00:22:25.328 --> 00:22:26.679
Solely on my own.
00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:30.308
And to be fair, I've sold the lob, but I think.
00:22:30.788 --> 00:22:35.788
You know, when I was reflecting back and thinking over the weekend, One of the things that I really.
00:22:36.989 --> 00:22:43.318
Wish I had been better about on top of like all the work that I've done and success I've had with myself.
00:22:44.278 --> 00:22:45.509
Is just really.
00:22:47.298 --> 00:22:48.888
Asking for help more.
00:22:49.068 --> 00:22:49.699
And.
00:22:50.898 --> 00:22:54.739
It's like, you know, and it's a weird thing because you think other people are going to ask.
00:22:55.068 --> 00:22:55.608
And.
00:22:56.479 --> 00:22:58.398
They don't ask for whatever reason.
00:22:58.398 --> 00:23:02.209
And you don't ask because you feel a certain way.
00:23:02.209 --> 00:23:05.088
You've been accustomed to be doing everything yourself or.
00:23:06.348 --> 00:23:08.239
You know, I thought.
00:23:08.719 --> 00:23:12.919
You know, when I look back, I'm like, oh, I'm not crushed.
00:23:12.919 --> 00:23:15.439
It's just like, I just know that if I had asked for.
00:23:16.999 --> 00:23:22.308
I wish I recognized that like, yes, I can do a lot and I have done a lot and I've made a lot of progress.
00:23:22.308 --> 00:23:23.449
So I don't want to take that away.
00:23:23.449 --> 00:23:32.689
I think we can all agree whether it's myself or yourself, your story, you've probably made some significantly good progress over the last couple of years on your own journey.
00:23:33.648 --> 00:23:39.949
But I do think there, there needs to be a realization that I wish I had sooner where okay.
00:23:40.128 --> 00:23:43.759
I can do a lot of these things on myself, but I'm going to need more help.
00:23:44.719 --> 00:23:51.038
Then I think I realized, or I think anybody realized where the, again, that's from my wife, from my kids, like.
00:23:51.999 --> 00:23:59.949
You know, I was good in the beginning about asking for help, but I think there's a little trick thing that happens where it's like, everybody thinks you're good.
00:23:59.949 --> 00:24:00.939
You think you're good?
00:24:02.588 --> 00:24:08.679
And I have been good, but I do still wish that, like I had been more cognizant of certain things over the last couple of years.
00:24:10.179 --> 00:24:17.409
Even simple things like, you know, like I got back to driving and I've always been very safe about driving since I got back behind the wheel.
00:24:18.068 --> 00:24:20.318
Uh, re had my driver's test that.
00:24:20.528 --> 00:24:22.568
Uh, at some point, I think it was 2020.
00:24:23.078 --> 00:24:25.058
Like I drove a 21, but they wanted to.
00:24:25.749 --> 00:24:26.259
It's weird.
00:24:26.919 --> 00:24:32.798
Uh, I was driving again in 21, but they want to be that retest for my license in 22.
00:24:33.308 --> 00:24:34.419
And I did that, and that was fine.
00:24:34.479 --> 00:24:38.949
There was no issue there, but again, you test and driving, court's very safe and secure.
00:24:39.548 --> 00:24:41.919
I was really only driving to the gym and back.
00:24:41.919 --> 00:24:43.749
So it wasn't that hard that far.
00:24:44.679 --> 00:24:49.269
And I should realize that like, Great that I was driving, but I.
00:24:50.528 --> 00:24:54.278
My point is you think you're making progress, but like how much, you know, and it was good.
00:24:54.308 --> 00:24:54.909
It was fine.
00:24:55.719 --> 00:25:00.909
But it really wasn't until this year, like three years, four years after I started driving again.
00:25:01.239 --> 00:25:07.298
That I was really able to drive further than back and forth to the gym, which is about two plus miles.
00:25:08.709 --> 00:25:13.358
And so this year, you know, finally, I was able to get to a place where I felt safer about driving.
00:25:14.318 --> 00:25:19.509
And There is sort of a point to that, but like some of those things, like what you think about going back to work as a stroke?
00:25:20.769 --> 00:25:21.278
okay.
00:25:21.338 --> 00:25:21.608
Yeah.
00:25:21.699 --> 00:25:25.058
You know, the first two years, obviously I had worked remotely for a long time.
00:25:25.568 --> 00:25:29.229
Worked for myself, but like when I started looking around, I was like, oh, you.
00:25:29.348 --> 00:25:31.118
I can only really work remote.
00:25:31.118 --> 00:25:34.878
So there's a lot of difficulty and challenges, even if, even for somebody like me.
00:25:36.199 --> 00:25:43.638
Who can work for themselves, but also considering going back to work, it's like, you know, I look at remote work and people are returning to the office now.
00:25:43.638 --> 00:25:48.138
And it's like, no, I can, you know, five years out now I could return to the office.
00:25:48.318 --> 00:25:49.638
If that was in front of me.
00:25:49.638 --> 00:25:53.519
Uh, but it's, there's a lot of realizations that you have along the way.
00:25:54.209 --> 00:25:57.259
I'm just going to be one example that I think a lot of people don't think about.
00:25:57.318 --> 00:25:59.868
And again, I will go very long here.
00:25:59.898 --> 00:26:02.179
There's only supposed to be a 25 minute episode.
00:26:02.778 --> 00:26:12.318
So, uh, what's the takeaways from this episode, again, think back, you know, on your own journey during these holiday times or the things that you could be doing differently, things that you could be doing better.
00:26:13.128 --> 00:26:14.148
Are you being relentless?
00:26:14.148 --> 00:26:20.088
Are you kind of pursuing certain things or are there things that you could be pushing yourself to do more or better?
00:26:20.628 --> 00:26:23.419
Sooner so that you don't let things go as long.
00:26:23.919 --> 00:26:26.709
If you're not a survivor and you have a server in your life.
00:26:27.249 --> 00:26:28.028
Check in with them.
00:26:28.028 --> 00:26:31.088
If you are a survivor, reach out to your family members, loved ones.
00:26:33.278 --> 00:26:36.699
Say, Hey, you know, I need some help or I need talk.
00:26:36.848 --> 00:26:38.528
I'm just not sure if I'm doing this right.
00:26:38.558 --> 00:26:39.878
I don't have a lot of resources.
00:26:39.878 --> 00:26:42.638
I mean, this is again, The entire reason.
00:26:43.088 --> 00:26:49.239
For building survivors science, the brand, the center, which is the online community portion of survivor center science.
00:26:49.269 --> 00:26:52.358
It's so that people get answers to these questions because they're hard.
00:26:52.388 --> 00:26:55.719
And if you think of how much work I put in, I've lost a human being.
00:26:56.229 --> 00:26:56.618
I've lost.
00:26:57.219 --> 00:26:58.388
280 pounds.
00:26:58.419 --> 00:27:01.028
Which is more than half my original body weight.
00:27:02.019 --> 00:27:02.739
It's a.
00:27:04.449 --> 00:27:05.919
You know, and it's still hard for me.
00:27:06.009 --> 00:27:08.009
So it's hard for all of us.
00:27:08.009 --> 00:27:12.249
And I think you know, uh, whatever side you land on and you're listening to this, go check in with your.
00:27:12.969 --> 00:27:19.588
You're survivors, family members and see how they're doing and see, you know, maybe you can't do a ton of things, but even just checking in is.
00:27:20.429 --> 00:27:22.288
Better than doing nothing.
00:27:22.388 --> 00:27:25.719
And that, that works on either side, survivor or caregiver from member.
00:27:27.068 --> 00:27:29.229
You know, take the holiday time to check in on those people.
00:27:29.229 --> 00:27:33.159
So, You know, going into 20, 25 I will see if I'll do another episode.
00:27:33.189 --> 00:27:36.699
I'm not going to release a full episode this Wednesday because obviously it's Christmas, but yeah.
00:27:36.699 --> 00:27:38.409
Well maybe we'll take back in on Friday.
00:27:38.919 --> 00:27:43.959
See how you're holding up during the holidays, uh, for a little frat Thursday, Friday episode, we'll see how that lands.
00:27:44.439 --> 00:27:52.048
How I'm feeling about that with all the kids home and, uh, yeah, we'll definitely do at least one or two more before the end of the year, but I think we'll leave it there.
00:27:52.048 --> 00:28:00.499
You know, it feels weird to kind of do an episode fully on myself, but I think reflecting back over five years is a really important milestone, whether you're.
00:28:01.189 --> 00:28:02.058
There yet or not.
00:28:02.118 --> 00:28:03.229
You know, I hope you will be there.
00:28:03.229 --> 00:28:05.088
I hope you join me on the five-year mark.
00:28:05.138 --> 00:28:05.739
You know, I hope.
00:28:06.759 --> 00:28:08.199
Hope you're having a great holiday season.
00:28:08.199 --> 00:28:11.949
And if you have any questions, comments, concerns, you can always reach out to the podcast.
00:28:11.949 --> 00:28:13.419
We'll at server science.com.
00:28:13.898 --> 00:28:17.019
Hit me up on social media, Facebook, Instagram, Tik, TOK, you name it.
00:28:17.048 --> 00:28:18.128
I'm all over the place.
00:28:18.338 --> 00:28:19.328
If you can't find me.
00:28:19.989 --> 00:28:25.808
You can always just go to survivor science.com and click the contact button and shoot me an email over there.
00:28:26.979 --> 00:28:28.929
So, yeah, go enjoy the holidays.
00:28:28.929 --> 00:28:31.689
I'm going to go enjoy the family time for the next two days.
00:28:31.729 --> 00:28:33.709
Yeah, I have a safe and happy holidays.
00:28:34.338 --> 00:28:38.088
And I can't wait to see you back on the other side of this week after Christmas.
00:28:38.449 --> 00:28:41.358
And if you celebrate another holiday, enjoy that holiday as well.
00:28:41.898 --> 00:28:42.709
Take care and bye.
00:00:05.009 --> 00:00:07.830
Welcome to another episode of survivor science soundbites.
00:00:08.490 --> 00:00:11.039
This week, we are playing a little bit of catch-up.
00:00:11.070 --> 00:00:12.990
I recorded an episode on Friday.
00:00:13.410 --> 00:00:14.880
Got close to the end.
00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:17.339
And then my computer just decided to.
00:00:18.300 --> 00:00:20.129
Not finish recording.
00:00:20.160 --> 00:00:21.269
So I apologize for that.
00:00:21.269 --> 00:00:23.460
But Friday episodes are usually a wrap-up.
00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:27.059
I figured with everything going on the holidays, kicking off.
00:00:27.420 --> 00:00:29.429
Really into the crunch time now.
00:00:30.089 --> 00:00:31.439
That I recorded an episode.
00:00:32.009 --> 00:00:34.469
Over the weekend, which I definitely did not do.
00:00:34.979 --> 00:00:39.119
However it is now the Monday before Christmas, December 23rd.
00:00:39.810 --> 00:00:40.859
And I figured.
00:00:41.369 --> 00:00:43.799
What better time to record an episode.
00:00:44.189 --> 00:00:45.750
Then the Monday before Christmas.
00:00:46.250 --> 00:00:49.820
So last week we talked about hard things, doing hard things.
00:00:50.630 --> 00:00:53.179
We talk about that a lot growth recovery.
00:00:53.990 --> 00:00:55.039
What that all means.
00:00:55.039 --> 00:00:58.340
We talked about relentless last Monday by Tim Grover.
00:00:59.149 --> 00:01:01.640
And we talked about Oh, what's the book by Jim.
00:01:01.759 --> 00:01:03.469
Uh, limitless by Jim quick.
00:01:04.789 --> 00:01:07.129
I recorded the whole episode on Friday and got.
00:01:08.030 --> 00:01:10.340
The 25 minute mark, and then it just.
00:01:10.969 --> 00:01:11.840
Crashed on me.
00:01:11.870 --> 00:01:12.530
So.
00:01:13.250 --> 00:01:17.539
I decided not to rerecord and I would just wait till today.
00:01:18.920 --> 00:01:22.879
'cause last week towards the end of the week, I realized also.
00:01:23.659 --> 00:01:27.079
That I had my dates mixed up for the last couple of years.
00:01:28.009 --> 00:01:30.590
Now that's not terribly important, really?
00:01:30.590 --> 00:01:33.259
In hindsight, in the grand scheme of things.
00:01:34.579 --> 00:01:36.439
But I did realize my stroke.
00:01:36.539 --> 00:01:37.948
I've talked about it for a while.
00:01:37.948 --> 00:01:44.879
And yesterday was in fact, the five year anniversary since my stroke in 2019.
00:01:46.679 --> 00:01:48.539
Again, it's not terribly important.
00:01:48.659 --> 00:01:50.759
I do not like the term stroke.
00:01:50.759 --> 00:01:51.478
Aversary.
00:01:52.319 --> 00:01:53.879
I'm not against it.
00:01:53.879 --> 00:01:55.198
It's just not my jam.
00:01:55.289 --> 00:01:55.890
I.
00:01:57.179 --> 00:02:03.929
I've learned a lot of things over the last couple of years, I'm not going to talk about the five things I learned over the last five years, but I do want to look back and reflect.
00:02:03.929 --> 00:02:05.069
I think it's important.
00:02:05.099 --> 00:02:07.079
Not only for me, but for the audience.
00:02:07.859 --> 00:02:12.180
Because if you listen to this show, you know, I've come a long way.
00:02:12.479 --> 00:02:14.218
There's a lot more work to do.
00:02:15.389 --> 00:02:16.680
It's an interesting time.
00:02:16.680 --> 00:02:18.088
I did a little bit of a.
00:02:18.870 --> 00:02:23.039
A, uh, Instagram real was shared over to Facebook yesterday.
00:02:23.699 --> 00:02:24.658
I feel.
00:02:25.588 --> 00:02:33.360
Lucky to be alive, but I also think there, I think for a lot of people, including myself, sometimes we post on social media.
00:02:34.019 --> 00:02:35.490
You see a lot of the good things.
00:02:35.610 --> 00:02:38.370
Honestly, I've never been against posting the bad things.
00:02:38.430 --> 00:02:38.939
I think.
00:02:39.269 --> 00:02:39.810
For me.
00:02:40.680 --> 00:02:42.509
And I gave this some thought it's it said.
00:02:42.810 --> 00:02:45.060
It's not that I've never wanted to share the bad things.
00:02:45.060 --> 00:02:49.649
It's that I really genuinely couldn't even figure out how to share the bad things in the early days.
00:02:50.550 --> 00:02:51.000
Yes.
00:02:51.778 --> 00:02:55.949
My wife did take some pictures in rehab early on.
00:02:56.639 --> 00:02:59.459
Yes, I did not want them posted.
00:02:59.519 --> 00:03:04.408
Uh, I did post some stuff, but then I wound up later deleting my Instagram account.
00:03:05.099 --> 00:03:11.729
And all my social media in 2020 before coming back onto social media in 21 and 22.
00:03:12.658 --> 00:03:15.718
And some parts, reluctantly 23, even this year.
00:03:17.099 --> 00:03:20.699
And it was never about not wanting to share the journey.
00:03:21.449 --> 00:03:21.689
Yeah.
00:03:22.229 --> 00:03:28.588
That's silly because I have a podcast where now I've had one for a couple of years, but I kind of changed it last year.
00:03:28.889 --> 00:03:30.000
Focusing over here.
00:03:30.599 --> 00:03:38.310
On survivor science and finally getting that all under control and under the umbrella of the server science brand that had been building the last two years.
00:03:39.778 --> 00:03:41.939
And really helping other survivors know.
00:03:42.810 --> 00:03:44.549
Just how hard it is.
00:03:44.650 --> 00:03:46.840
You know, that's why I love talking about doing hard things.
00:03:46.840 --> 00:03:48.759
It's because this is really.
00:03:50.449 --> 00:03:52.280
Really fucking hard.
00:03:52.340 --> 00:03:58.009
And for anybody that tells you otherwise is either delusional or very lucky.
00:03:58.639 --> 00:04:00.590
Different set of circumstances.
00:04:01.020 --> 00:04:01.439
Yeah.
00:04:01.469 --> 00:04:03.360
I mean, let's not sugarcoat it.
00:04:03.389 --> 00:04:04.830
There really is no reason to.
00:04:05.550 --> 00:04:12.030
In fact, many stroke survivors that I talked to really don't want to sugar coat it because honestly, Sugar coating.
00:04:12.060 --> 00:04:15.030
It does nothing for anybody along the way.
00:04:15.030 --> 00:04:15.780
It's it?
00:04:15.900 --> 00:04:17.670
I think some people do it unintentionally.
00:04:17.670 --> 00:04:18.180
I think.
00:04:18.779 --> 00:04:20.009
I've done it to myself.
00:04:20.040 --> 00:04:26.399
I think a lot of times in the early days, some people are, think they're helping by protecting you.
00:04:27.569 --> 00:04:29.399
They want to give you optimism and hope.
00:04:29.430 --> 00:04:32.730
And there certainly there is a solid point to that.
00:04:33.230 --> 00:04:33.920
But it's hard.
00:04:33.949 --> 00:04:35.930
It really is hard being a stroke.
00:04:35.930 --> 00:04:37.459
Survivor is no joke.
00:04:37.610 --> 00:04:42.709
I still believe it is one of the hardest things that you can potentially overcome.
00:04:43.939 --> 00:04:46.069
What do I say potentially, because.
00:04:47.089 --> 00:04:51.259
It's different for everybody, but I think there are it's different.
00:04:51.589 --> 00:04:53.449
In a lot of ways think cancer.
00:04:53.480 --> 00:04:57.170
Sometimes you can do everything right with cancer and you may not win.
00:04:57.670 --> 00:05:04.000
When you think about Ms and ALS and some of the other things, they're a little different.
00:05:05.649 --> 00:05:07.870
Stroke tends to not be a progressive.
00:05:08.350 --> 00:05:12.579
Disease like you have this joke is, uh, we all know.
00:05:13.480 --> 00:05:15.519
It will mess you up in a lot of ways.
00:05:15.610 --> 00:05:17.949
Uh, seemingly unexplainable.
00:05:17.980 --> 00:05:23.470
I mean, I think a lot of us probably could go back and be like, oh, if I had done this different, if I had done that different.
00:05:24.279 --> 00:05:27.579
Maybe it would have never had this stroke, but there are plenty of survivors out there.
00:05:27.579 --> 00:05:31.000
I think they say it's like 80, 20, 20% have done everything right.
00:05:31.000 --> 00:05:31.689
Their entire life.
00:05:31.720 --> 00:05:32.709
They still have a stroke.
00:05:33.970 --> 00:05:36.670
You know, the data's kind of skewed, but either way, right.
00:05:36.699 --> 00:05:38.350
If you're lucky enough to survive.
00:05:39.189 --> 00:05:45.910
You know, it's hard, whether it's hard mentally, physically, emotionally it's really freaking hard and I cannot.
00:05:46.839 --> 00:05:48.250
Emphasize that enough.
00:05:48.430 --> 00:05:51.279
Uh, doctors emphasize that to me in the beginning.
00:05:52.029 --> 00:05:54.129
If you're like me, you probably didn't want to hear it.
00:05:54.129 --> 00:05:55.569
You're like, no, I'll show you.
00:05:56.319 --> 00:05:58.480
I've had that attitude the last five years.
00:05:59.410 --> 00:05:59.920
I listen.
00:06:00.610 --> 00:06:03.430
It's a great attitude to have, but it's still really.
00:06:03.970 --> 00:06:04.899
Freaking hard.
00:06:04.949 --> 00:06:11.339
So I'm not going to circle back really to last, week's doing hard things, because this is more of a.
00:06:12.360 --> 00:06:15.329
Taking a little time to share some of the things that I've learned.
00:06:15.329 --> 00:06:17.819
Some of the things that I've thought about, like, I really.
00:06:19.050 --> 00:06:22.019
Want to share kind of the five years.
00:06:22.800 --> 00:06:23.759
Backstory.
00:06:24.720 --> 00:06:26.339
But also like how.
00:06:27.269 --> 00:06:28.379
Just how hard it is.
00:06:28.470 --> 00:06:30.449
What are some of the lessons that I learned?
00:06:30.660 --> 00:06:33.300
Really, I mean, it is sharing my journey, but I want to share it.
00:06:34.259 --> 00:06:39.720
With you for you so that you kinda know, because if you're earlier on or you haven't heard my story.
00:06:40.259 --> 00:06:41.550
I think it's important.
00:06:41.819 --> 00:06:44.189
And, you know, I'm reluctant to be.
00:06:45.720 --> 00:06:47.040
A certain way sometimes.
00:06:47.970 --> 00:06:49.589
And this is part of the lessons like.
00:06:51.420 --> 00:06:53.000
You know, this is not about me.
00:06:53.000 --> 00:06:54.500
It's about sharing the lessons.
00:06:54.500 --> 00:06:57.500
So hopefully you can glean something from it, take something from it.
00:06:58.069 --> 00:07:00.470
Interpret it, however, you'd like, I mean, I really just want to be.
00:07:01.730 --> 00:07:04.160
You know, I just want to reflect back and see like, okay.
00:07:04.220 --> 00:07:04.879
Yeah, progress.
00:07:04.939 --> 00:07:05.269
Good.
00:07:05.329 --> 00:07:08.209
More specifically, maybe then I have on other episodes.
00:07:09.649 --> 00:07:21.620
So again, I think we'll just kind of go through my story and the last five years, so you can see the progression and how things changed and kind of get a really comprehensive glimpse and overview of the last five years.
00:07:21.649 --> 00:07:26.720
Because again, So today is, uh, Monday, December 23rd.
00:07:26.839 --> 00:07:28.730
The reason for.
00:07:30.079 --> 00:07:31.490
Well, because I didn't record her the weekend.
00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:33.350
So let's be clear I'm recording today.
00:07:33.350 --> 00:07:35.240
So let's go back five years.
00:07:35.240 --> 00:07:40.129
So five years ago, December 23rd, 2019 was also a Monday.
00:07:41.060 --> 00:07:41.540
And.
00:07:42.439 --> 00:07:47.839
That was the day that they finally confirmed because they were going to do a procedure.
00:07:48.100 --> 00:07:49.000
This morning.
00:07:49.750 --> 00:07:52.180
Five years ago, December, 2019.
00:07:52.480 --> 00:07:53.079
Two.
00:07:53.920 --> 00:08:00.879
Shock my heart into rhythm, which is why I was admitted to the hospital in the first place, because they saw on a scan.
00:08:02.259 --> 00:08:02.500
Yeah.
00:08:02.529 --> 00:08:04.149
When I was getting checked in.
00:08:05.350 --> 00:08:08.230
They wound up admitting me because they're like, oh, you have a fab.
00:08:08.259 --> 00:08:08.889
Did you know that?
00:08:08.889 --> 00:08:09.970
I was like, no, I had no idea.
00:08:09.970 --> 00:08:11.199
I had, I fed that like, okay.
00:08:11.949 --> 00:08:14.829
So they admitted me to the hospital here in Jacksonville, Florida.
00:08:15.939 --> 00:08:18.730
Only because of the AFib and they were going to do a procedure.
00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:21.430
Again, this, it would have been this Monday, five years ago.
00:08:22.480 --> 00:08:29.949
To get my heart shocked back into sinus rhythm, and hopefully I'd recover after a day and be able to go home for Christmas.
00:08:30.970 --> 00:08:34.090
Well yesterday, December, 2019.
00:08:34.090 --> 00:08:36.549
So December 22nd, 2019.
00:08:37.570 --> 00:08:39.100
Somewhere during the day.
00:08:39.820 --> 00:08:44.740
Unbeknownst to me and the people around me, I had a stroke in the hospital.
00:08:45.340 --> 00:08:46.840
Unbeknownst to the staff.
00:08:46.879 --> 00:08:52.940
Again, holiday time, different staff people covering shifts, not your usual on staff people.
00:08:54.559 --> 00:09:01.850
Again, I was scheduled for a Purdue team procedure to shock my heart back into rhythm, to hopefully get rid of the AFib.
00:09:02.929 --> 00:09:04.250
And be on my Merry way.
00:09:04.309 --> 00:09:07.159
Well, again, I had the stroke five years ago yesterday.
00:09:08.210 --> 00:09:15.259
And, uh, That's the day that forever changed my life and it's You know, it's been a really long journey back.
00:09:15.289 --> 00:09:16.309
It's been difficult.
00:09:16.340 --> 00:09:23.929
I won't go through all the things, but I wanna know going into inpatient in 20 January 20, January 1st, 2021.
00:09:24.860 --> 00:09:27.049
To a facility here in Jacksonville, Florida called Brooks.
00:09:27.470 --> 00:09:28.100
There are amazing.
00:09:28.230 --> 00:09:31.799
Went there for 30 days kind of got decent enough to be home.
00:09:31.980 --> 00:09:34.860
Uh, with some rehab, wasn't walking, but.
00:09:36.570 --> 00:09:43.740
Watch the Superbowl, February, 2020 woke up the Monday morning after thought I was having a second stroke, turns out, got diagnosed with Ms.
00:09:43.740 --> 00:09:44.700
Went back to rehab.
00:09:45.389 --> 00:09:48.269
All of which happened before the pandemic in 2020.
00:09:48.269 --> 00:09:49.740
So year one.
00:09:50.279 --> 00:09:51.149
Once I got home.
00:09:52.679 --> 00:09:54.539
Uh, I think I came home.
00:09:54.629 --> 00:09:58.289
Uh, either on or after the day after St.
00:09:58.289 --> 00:10:00.360
Patty's day in 2020.
00:10:01.259 --> 00:10:05.580
Stayed home for two weeks, kinda got ready to go back to work way too soon.
00:10:06.210 --> 00:10:10.379
Went back to work January 1st, I work remotely, so I thought I could do it.
00:10:10.409 --> 00:10:13.710
It was very clear, very quickly that I was not ready, prepared.
00:10:14.250 --> 00:10:15.389
Or any of things.
00:10:15.389 --> 00:10:19.799
So we kind of worked on what I could do working part time.
00:10:20.730 --> 00:10:22.649
Slowly going and getting better.
00:10:23.309 --> 00:10:24.570
Going through therapies.
00:10:24.669 --> 00:10:30.399
So I did that for a few months working part-time for the company that I had been employed up until the, my stroke.
00:10:31.659 --> 00:10:41.710
Really good really worked out well, got that whole summer and the pandemic to kind of get back on my feet and by the middle or end of the summer.
00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:47.509
I was back working full-time again, probably too soon, but that's the way it goes.
00:10:48.769 --> 00:10:51.860
And in year one, I was lucky because there was a pandemic.
00:10:51.860 --> 00:10:57.830
So I pretty much was at home and or therapy or at home because I work remotely.
00:10:57.830 --> 00:10:58.580
So I was either.
00:10:59.029 --> 00:11:00.019
On the computer working.
00:11:00.769 --> 00:11:03.049
In my home resting, relaxing breeding.
00:11:04.009 --> 00:11:07.940
Kind of letting my brain really rest when I wasn't working.
00:11:07.970 --> 00:11:11.029
And I think it was a good mix between resting.
00:11:11.899 --> 00:11:13.490
Pandemic rehab.
00:11:14.059 --> 00:11:17.809
Work, you know, it was able to get my body and my mind working a little bit.
00:11:18.559 --> 00:11:20.389
It's still in the wheelchair most of the year.
00:11:20.889 --> 00:11:31.120
But slowly kind of able to begin to recover and do some things and move around the house with aided devices, like a Walker.
00:11:32.320 --> 00:11:36.820
You know, A decent size home, but, uh, and big open space enough to use the Walker.
00:11:36.820 --> 00:11:40.899
So year one, really, I focus on rest and recovery.
00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:44.320
I would recommend that highly to anybody that's stroke survivor.
00:11:45.759 --> 00:11:48.340
Going into year two, started to try to do more.
00:11:48.370 --> 00:11:52.149
Went into coaching, went into a program for coaching.
00:11:52.779 --> 00:11:57.399
Getting, uh, being a certified coat loop life coach through ICF.
00:11:58.659 --> 00:12:02.198
And then, uh, an, a school on the west coast, uh, online.
00:12:03.188 --> 00:12:04.389
Amazing program.
00:12:04.419 --> 00:12:12.789
At that time I sort of realized, you know, went through a transition with work where I was like, okay, You know, this isn't, I can't do this the way I used to be able to do it.
00:12:12.789 --> 00:12:14.169
And it's just not fair to me.
00:12:14.649 --> 00:12:18.580
Or the team and ultimately I ended up leaving.
00:12:18.850 --> 00:12:20.470
My previous career.
00:12:22.299 --> 00:12:25.688
Because I just needed more time to do more work on myself.
00:12:25.720 --> 00:12:30.850
And so by the middle of 2021, I had left.
00:12:31.809 --> 00:12:38.019
Really started focusing on getting into the gym, rehabbing my body, uh, in a much more significant way.
00:12:39.159 --> 00:12:46.899
Dilla that sort of working for myself, getting things together, getting things organized and You know, more of the same in year two.
00:12:47.710 --> 00:12:55.438
Starting to build the business making networking, connecting, getting ready for my daughter to college that year she was graduating high school.
00:12:56.129 --> 00:13:00.668
A lot of things, just trying to get everything under control and you know, that went pretty well.
00:13:01.629 --> 00:13:02.259
Really.
00:13:03.399 --> 00:13:04.059
Really good.
00:13:04.179 --> 00:13:10.698
And then again, more of the same in year two in 2022.
00:13:12.438 --> 00:13:14.989
And really it's honestly, it's been more of the same each and every year.
00:13:14.989 --> 00:13:19.339
Just figuring out a little bit more, how to work better, how to work smarter.
00:13:19.578 --> 00:13:21.078
With myself and my business.
00:13:21.078 --> 00:13:21.529
And then.
00:13:22.029 --> 00:13:23.799
Really got into.
00:13:24.440 --> 00:13:26.539
Fitness and education.
00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:33.289
And just, uh, really trying to figure out, learn my body and my brain and rebuild and re.
00:13:34.519 --> 00:13:36.139
Do all these things.
00:13:37.629 --> 00:13:40.299
Yeah, pretty relentless in that area.
00:13:40.299 --> 00:13:40.750
So.
00:13:41.679 --> 00:13:44.139
Again, I, over the years I figured out meditation.
00:13:44.139 --> 00:13:45.639
I figured out breath work.
00:13:45.669 --> 00:13:48.309
I figured out how to rest and recover.
00:13:49.509 --> 00:13:56.139
Some of the things I didn't do so well, like really figuring out the handwriting, really figuring out how to type better.
00:13:56.649 --> 00:13:57.938
Really looking back.
00:13:59.169 --> 00:14:03.039
I'm reflecting back and I'm trying to think of like things that I wish.
00:14:04.328 --> 00:14:14.889
You know, I was trying to figure out how to network, how to build a business, how to be a creator, like, because when you own a business in 2024, Even 20, 22, it's like, you really need to be the face of the brand.
00:14:15.609 --> 00:14:17.349
Doing a lot of different things.
00:14:18.489 --> 00:14:20.818
And Yeah, building a podcast.
00:14:20.818 --> 00:14:25.168
I was still doing the other podcasts, but by the end of 2022, I realized, okay.
00:14:25.859 --> 00:14:27.359
Really want to work with survivors.
00:14:27.389 --> 00:14:28.828
This is kind of what I'm living.
00:14:28.859 --> 00:14:29.698
This is my life.
00:14:29.729 --> 00:14:31.078
There's an opportunity here.
00:14:32.219 --> 00:14:38.609
To really help people because even a couple of years ago, there were sure there's a lot of stroke survivors that read books and write books.
00:14:38.609 --> 00:14:39.359
And that's great.
00:14:40.349 --> 00:14:42.239
But I felt like I could be doing more.
00:14:42.658 --> 00:14:44.428
I still feel like I could be doing more.
00:14:44.428 --> 00:14:46.798
And that's really what this podcast is about.
00:14:46.828 --> 00:14:49.889
That's really why I finally have gotten everything together.
00:14:50.938 --> 00:14:52.168
With survivor science and.
00:14:52.229 --> 00:14:58.469
Building out the website and battling with the community portion, building the newsletter, building this podcast, like putting it all together.
00:14:59.308 --> 00:15:04.979
In a way that my name becomes synonymous with survivors science and really what that means is.
00:15:05.969 --> 00:15:06.568
Helping sucks.
00:15:06.778 --> 00:15:07.708
Uh, survivors.
00:15:07.798 --> 00:15:09.989
You know, beyond once.
00:15:10.318 --> 00:15:15.538
Cause when you think back to your own situation, you go to the hospital, you may go.
00:15:15.839 --> 00:15:16.438
To rehab.
00:15:16.469 --> 00:15:17.698
He may go inpatient.
00:15:18.629 --> 00:15:19.918
The resources are.
00:15:21.149 --> 00:15:23.879
Thin the resources are scattered.
00:15:24.239 --> 00:15:26.038
Everybody has different opinions.
00:15:26.038 --> 00:15:28.589
Some things work, some things don't even the.
00:15:29.129 --> 00:15:30.269
Everything different things.
00:15:30.269 --> 00:15:31.619
They're going to work for different people.
00:15:32.489 --> 00:15:36.568
Super important to have a variety of things, but even just finding things and.
00:15:37.499 --> 00:15:39.389
Bringing to them to your attention.
00:15:39.389 --> 00:15:49.379
I mean, that's really, a lot of my free time over the last couple of years has been behind Google, behind research libraries behind the actual library, like getting.
00:15:49.979 --> 00:15:54.538
Into what are the things that are going to work and trying those things trial and error.
00:15:54.928 --> 00:15:55.528
Testing.
00:15:56.458 --> 00:15:57.119
Is it working?
00:15:57.178 --> 00:15:58.438
Isn't it working like?
00:15:59.068 --> 00:16:03.658
Finding answers to questions that like, Even yesterday, I made a post on Instagram.
00:16:05.548 --> 00:16:08.849
You know, we're five years out from my original stroke.
00:16:08.908 --> 00:16:10.649
And you know, I've had hiccups along the way.
00:16:10.649 --> 00:16:11.009
Ms.
00:16:11.009 --> 00:16:12.208
Certainly hasn't helped.
00:16:12.269 --> 00:16:12.928
I've had.
00:16:14.428 --> 00:16:17.308
You know, probably some undiagnosed, Tia is a times.
00:16:17.408 --> 00:16:18.129
Definitely.
00:16:19.928 --> 00:16:24.278
Not necessarily classified seizures, but had times where I was unsure.
00:16:25.359 --> 00:16:27.458
I mean between 2020.
00:16:28.239 --> 00:16:30.429
You know, 2020 I was at home primarily.
00:16:31.869 --> 00:16:32.078
They've.
00:16:32.649 --> 00:16:36.548
You know, later in 2020, towards the end of 2020, I actually had the procedure.
00:16:36.548 --> 00:16:37.599
It was same day procedure.
00:16:37.629 --> 00:16:40.749
I think to get my sinus rhythm back in place.
00:16:41.649 --> 00:16:47.649
So that procedure I was supposed to have in December of 2019, because of COVID didn't get rescheduled for almost a year.
00:16:49.239 --> 00:16:53.078
Then in 2021, you know, is still dealing with wound care and leg care.
00:16:53.109 --> 00:16:54.999
And like that's a whole other thing.
00:16:56.139 --> 00:16:58.688
Lots of doctor's appointments throughout those years.
00:16:58.769 --> 00:17:02.129
I think, you know, 20, 22.
00:17:03.479 --> 00:17:04.858
More procedures.
00:17:05.009 --> 00:17:13.230
Uh, you know, they got me on the Keppra because I think I definitely had a seizure in 2020 or 2021.
00:17:13.450 --> 00:17:14.829
Honestly, I can't remember now.
00:17:15.329 --> 00:17:19.859
But haven't really had one since, but there've been moments where I was a little unsure.
00:17:20.910 --> 00:17:25.200
Luckily You know, working with my team, we've got the medications under control.
00:17:25.230 --> 00:17:26.730
That's been good for a while.
00:17:27.900 --> 00:17:29.069
There's just a lot.
00:17:30.359 --> 00:17:31.890
Of stuff to deal with.
00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:33.690
And so I'm all over the place.
00:17:33.690 --> 00:17:36.509
I'm just trying to reflect over the last five years and really try to.
00:17:37.619 --> 00:17:39.569
What are the things that have worked best.
00:17:39.720 --> 00:17:43.019
Number one, meditation, number two, breath work.
00:17:43.049 --> 00:17:47.369
Getting into that has helped with anxiety and relaxation and speaking.
00:17:48.119 --> 00:17:50.039
Podcasting has been great for speaking.
00:17:51.059 --> 00:17:52.710
Because honestly, I think.
00:17:53.430 --> 00:17:58.799
And I've always said this, and I don't know that I've said it here, but it wasn't the stroke that really affected my speech.
00:17:58.980 --> 00:18:02.759
The, my speech was more effected by the Ms and continues to be.
00:18:04.710 --> 00:18:06.569
Because no matter how much work I do.
00:18:07.619 --> 00:18:11.400
Ms is funny in the way that, like, I feel like with stroke, you can put in the work.
00:18:12.750 --> 00:18:14.490
And eventually you get a return.
00:18:15.329 --> 00:18:20.940
Ms is a little different where it's like, you can do a bunch of work and you'll get results, but then Ms.
00:18:20.940 --> 00:18:24.960
Will rear its ugly head and be like, oh, you did all that work.
00:18:25.019 --> 00:18:25.529
Cool.
00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:27.119
Let's start over again.
00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:31.160
Uh, you know, to be fair, I don't know that's entirely true or even fair.
00:18:31.759 --> 00:18:32.359
Are fair.
00:18:32.990 --> 00:18:33.769
Fair to Ms.
00:18:33.769 --> 00:18:34.640
Like, like I care.
00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:38.469
But yeah, there's a lot of two steps forward.
00:18:38.499 --> 00:18:39.519
One setback.
00:18:40.449 --> 00:18:50.519
And so if you're a stroke survivor, you may not experience this because I can't tell if it's stroke or Ms, because I have to deal with both to be perfectly clear about that.
00:18:50.619 --> 00:18:51.039
Neo.
00:18:52.449 --> 00:18:58.778
Thinking back to some of the things You know, all this is kind of goes back to last week's topic.
00:18:59.169 --> 00:19:01.989
Uh, doing a hard things and recovery and growth.
00:19:02.679 --> 00:19:06.919
And I really love that topic of post-traumatic growth, which bill guests.
00:19:07.098 --> 00:19:09.019
As I talked about on his podcast.
00:19:09.648 --> 00:19:10.848
And actually that's a concept.
00:19:10.898 --> 00:19:12.338
Bill's not the original inventor.
00:19:12.368 --> 00:19:17.409
There are some researchers that came up with this, uh, to that ski in Calhoun.
00:19:18.338 --> 00:19:23.229
About, uh, overcoming adversity and enhancing how it enhances personal strength and.
00:19:24.038 --> 00:19:28.179
A certain appreciation for life, but bill definitely talked about it and we talked about it on his episode.
00:19:28.179 --> 00:19:29.919
You can go back and listen to his podcast.
00:19:30.009 --> 00:19:31.419
Uh, recovery after stroke.
00:19:31.959 --> 00:19:33.878
And I was on episode 3, 27.
00:19:33.969 --> 00:19:35.769
I think he talks about it pretty regularly.
00:19:36.189 --> 00:19:37.028
On his show.
00:19:37.128 --> 00:19:38.419
And it can go listen to your show.
00:19:38.449 --> 00:19:41.479
If you haven't heard it before, it's also, uh, an amazing show.
00:19:43.009 --> 00:19:43.519
But yeah.
00:19:43.798 --> 00:19:46.409
You know, I feel like there's so much more to say.
00:19:47.308 --> 00:19:53.788
On the five-year mark and I'm blending my notes between what I already did on Friday and recorded that never did.
00:19:53.939 --> 00:19:55.288
I didn't actually get saved.
00:19:56.368 --> 00:19:57.088
My computer.
00:19:58.199 --> 00:20:00.179
Didn't have enough room to save it.
00:20:00.179 --> 00:20:01.229
So it didn't really crash.
00:20:01.259 --> 00:20:02.519
It just ran out of space.
00:20:02.578 --> 00:20:08.378
Uh, and before this episode runs as a space, I'm trying to wrap it up, but You know, th the thing is it's hard.
00:20:08.409 --> 00:20:10.298
It's really hard to overcome stroke.
00:20:10.959 --> 00:20:13.838
Most people will never thankfully have to experience it.
00:20:13.868 --> 00:20:15.909
However, If you do.
00:20:16.328 --> 00:20:24.368
Or, you know, somebody just know how hard it is, because I think one of the hardest things that I've had to deal with over the years is battling both my ego.
00:20:26.019 --> 00:20:27.939
Internally and externally and.
00:20:28.898 --> 00:20:32.588
I do make things look easy, kind of not intentional.
00:20:33.459 --> 00:20:35.318
But I was just thinking, cause it's the holidays.
00:20:35.318 --> 00:20:36.519
It's a couple of days before.
00:20:37.269 --> 00:20:43.179
Cards for family members, which is weird because I keep seeing these cards come in and I'm like, you know, it's so weird.
00:20:43.179 --> 00:20:49.269
How, when you become a stroke survivor, And this is part of my own doing, probably because I'm six foot eight.
00:20:50.348 --> 00:20:57.489
It's so strange because the majority of my extended family knows my story and knows my parents had passed the year before I had the stroke.
00:20:57.548 --> 00:20:58.179
They know.
00:20:58.989 --> 00:21:02.949
So many things, and it's just, it's weird when you get these cards.
00:21:03.638 --> 00:21:16.558
From family members and it's like, It's really surprising how your life changes after stroke and you lose friends and your family gets distant and It's so interesting that people feel obliged to send cards, but they don't.
00:21:17.189 --> 00:21:20.249
They don't feel obliged check-in over the years to see how you're doing.
00:21:20.939 --> 00:21:26.128
And they only check in as much as people that you don't know, check in on social media.
00:21:26.219 --> 00:21:27.269
It's just a really.
00:21:28.499 --> 00:21:29.969
Interesting experience.
00:21:29.969 --> 00:21:32.009
I don't know that everybody has the same experience.
00:21:32.009 --> 00:21:32.999
I hope they do not.
00:21:33.028 --> 00:21:38.578
But yeah, if you are a caregiver, caretaker, family member, or friend, go check in on those strokes hours in your life.
00:21:39.568 --> 00:21:45.239
Because again, it's really fucking hard and I don't think people realize just how hard it is.
00:21:45.288 --> 00:21:48.679
No matter how hard you work or how hard you want to work or how hard you do work.
00:21:49.669 --> 00:21:51.679
Life is not going to be the same.
00:21:51.709 --> 00:21:52.699
And so.
00:21:53.719 --> 00:21:56.058
Even as a stroke server, I look back on five years.
00:21:56.058 --> 00:21:57.439
I could say yes, I've come a really far.
00:21:57.469 --> 00:21:59.179
I'm really proud of how far I've come.
00:22:00.078 --> 00:22:02.449
But man, do I wish that I had asked for help?
00:22:02.838 --> 00:22:05.409
Along the way, uh, many times sooner.
00:22:06.548 --> 00:22:07.868
You know, I think that's important.
00:22:08.078 --> 00:22:09.818
I talk about it a lot on this show.
00:22:10.749 --> 00:22:14.048
Asking your immediate family asking your extended family.
00:22:14.648 --> 00:22:18.249
Just for some help and some guidance, because this is really hard to do alone.
00:22:18.278 --> 00:22:24.788
And probably my biggest mistake over the last five years is really thinking I could solve every problem that I faced.
00:22:25.328 --> 00:22:26.679
Solely on my own.
00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:30.308
And to be fair, I've sold the lob, but I think.
00:22:30.788 --> 00:22:35.788
You know, when I was reflecting back and thinking over the weekend, One of the things that I really.
00:22:36.989 --> 00:22:43.318
Wish I had been better about on top of like all the work that I've done and success I've had with myself.
00:22:44.278 --> 00:22:45.509
Is just really.
00:22:47.298 --> 00:22:48.888
Asking for help more.
00:22:49.068 --> 00:22:49.699
And.
00:22:50.898 --> 00:22:54.739
It's like, you know, and it's a weird thing because you think other people are going to ask.
00:22:55.068 --> 00:22:55.608
And.
00:22:56.479 --> 00:22:58.398
They don't ask for whatever reason.
00:22:58.398 --> 00:23:02.209
And you don't ask because you feel a certain way.
00:23:02.209 --> 00:23:05.088
You've been accustomed to be doing everything yourself or.
00:23:06.348 --> 00:23:08.239
You know, I thought.
00:23:08.719 --> 00:23:12.919
You know, when I look back, I'm like, oh, I'm not crushed.
00:23:12.919 --> 00:23:15.439
It's just like, I just know that if I had asked for.
00:23:16.999 --> 00:23:22.308
I wish I recognized that like, yes, I can do a lot and I have done a lot and I've made a lot of progress.
00:23:22.308 --> 00:23:23.449
So I don't want to take that away.
00:23:23.449 --> 00:23:32.689
I think we can all agree whether it's myself or yourself, your story, you've probably made some significantly good progress over the last couple of years on your own journey.
00:23:33.648 --> 00:23:39.949
But I do think there, there needs to be a realization that I wish I had sooner where okay.
00:23:40.128 --> 00:23:43.759
I can do a lot of these things on myself, but I'm going to need more help.
00:23:44.719 --> 00:23:51.038
Then I think I realized, or I think anybody realized where the, again, that's from my wife, from my kids, like.
00:23:51.999 --> 00:23:59.949
You know, I was good in the beginning about asking for help, but I think there's a little trick thing that happens where it's like, everybody thinks you're good.
00:23:59.949 --> 00:24:00.939
You think you're good?
00:24:02.588 --> 00:24:08.679
And I have been good, but I do still wish that, like I had been more cognizant of certain things over the last couple of years.
00:24:10.179 --> 00:24:17.409
Even simple things like, you know, like I got back to driving and I've always been very safe about driving since I got back behind the wheel.
00:24:18.068 --> 00:24:20.318
Uh, re had my driver's test that.
00:24:20.528 --> 00:24:22.568
Uh, at some point, I think it was 2020.
00:24:23.078 --> 00:24:25.058
Like I drove a 21, but they wanted to.
00:24:25.749 --> 00:24:26.259
It's weird.
00:24:26.919 --> 00:24:32.798
Uh, I was driving again in 21, but they want to be that retest for my license in 22.
00:24:33.308 --> 00:24:34.419
And I did that, and that was fine.
00:24:34.479 --> 00:24:38.949
There was no issue there, but again, you test and driving, court's very safe and secure.
00:24:39.548 --> 00:24:41.919
I was really only driving to the gym and back.
00:24:41.919 --> 00:24:43.749
So it wasn't that hard that far.
00:24:44.679 --> 00:24:49.269
And I should realize that like, Great that I was driving, but I.
00:24:50.528 --> 00:24:54.278
My point is you think you're making progress, but like how much, you know, and it was good.
00:24:54.308 --> 00:24:54.909
It was fine.
00:24:55.719 --> 00:25:00.909
But it really wasn't until this year, like three years, four years after I started driving again.
00:25:01.239 --> 00:25:07.298
That I was really able to drive further than back and forth to the gym, which is about two plus miles.
00:25:08.709 --> 00:25:13.358
And so this year, you know, finally, I was able to get to a place where I felt safer about driving.
00:25:14.318 --> 00:25:19.509
And There is sort of a point to that, but like some of those things, like what you think about going back to work as a stroke?
00:25:20.769 --> 00:25:21.278
okay.
00:25:21.338 --> 00:25:21.608
Yeah.
00:25:21.699 --> 00:25:25.058
You know, the first two years, obviously I had worked remotely for a long time.
00:25:25.568 --> 00:25:29.229
Worked for myself, but like when I started looking around, I was like, oh, you.
00:25:29.348 --> 00:25:31.118
I can only really work remote.
00:25:31.118 --> 00:25:34.878
So there's a lot of difficulty and challenges, even if, even for somebody like me.
00:25:36.199 --> 00:25:43.638
Who can work for themselves, but also considering going back to work, it's like, you know, I look at remote work and people are returning to the office now.
00:25:43.638 --> 00:25:48.138
And it's like, no, I can, you know, five years out now I could return to the office.
00:25:48.318 --> 00:25:49.638
If that was in front of me.
00:25:49.638 --> 00:25:53.519
Uh, but it's, there's a lot of realizations that you have along the way.
00:25:54.209 --> 00:25:57.259
I'm just going to be one example that I think a lot of people don't think about.
00:25:57.318 --> 00:25:59.868
And again, I will go very long here.
00:25:59.898 --> 00:26:02.179
There's only supposed to be a 25 minute episode.
00:26:02.778 --> 00:26:12.318
So, uh, what's the takeaways from this episode, again, think back, you know, on your own journey during these holiday times or the things that you could be doing differently, things that you could be doing better.
00:26:13.128 --> 00:26:14.148
Are you being relentless?
00:26:14.148 --> 00:26:20.088
Are you kind of pursuing certain things or are there things that you could be pushing yourself to do more or better?
00:26:20.628 --> 00:26:23.419
Sooner so that you don't let things go as long.
00:26:23.919 --> 00:26:26.709
If you're not a survivor and you have a server in your life.
00:26:27.249 --> 00:26:28.028
Check in with them.
00:26:28.028 --> 00:26:31.088
If you are a survivor, reach out to your family members, loved ones.
00:26:33.278 --> 00:26:36.699
Say, Hey, you know, I need some help or I need talk.
00:26:36.848 --> 00:26:38.528
I'm just not sure if I'm doing this right.
00:26:38.558 --> 00:26:39.878
I don't have a lot of resources.
00:26:39.878 --> 00:26:42.638
I mean, this is again, The entire reason.
00:26:43.088 --> 00:26:49.239
For building survivors science, the brand, the center, which is the online community portion of survivor center science.
00:26:49.269 --> 00:26:52.358
It's so that people get answers to these questions because they're hard.
00:26:52.388 --> 00:26:55.719
And if you think of how much work I put in, I've lost a human being.
00:26:56.229 --> 00:26:56.618
I've lost.
00:26:57.219 --> 00:26:58.388
280 pounds.
00:26:58.419 --> 00:27:01.028
Which is more than half my original body weight.
00:27:02.019 --> 00:27:02.739
It's a.
00:27:04.449 --> 00:27:05.919
You know, and it's still hard for me.
00:27:06.009 --> 00:27:08.009
So it's hard for all of us.
00:27:08.009 --> 00:27:12.249
And I think you know, uh, whatever side you land on and you're listening to this, go check in with your.
00:27:12.969 --> 00:27:19.588
You're survivors, family members and see how they're doing and see, you know, maybe you can't do a ton of things, but even just checking in is.
00:27:20.429 --> 00:27:22.288
Better than doing nothing.
00:27:22.388 --> 00:27:25.719
And that, that works on either side, survivor or caregiver from member.
00:27:27.068 --> 00:27:29.229
You know, take the holiday time to check in on those people.
00:27:29.229 --> 00:27:33.159
So, You know, going into 20, 25 I will see if I'll do another episode.
00:27:33.189 --> 00:27:36.699
I'm not going to release a full episode this Wednesday because obviously it's Christmas, but yeah.
00:27:36.699 --> 00:27:38.409
Well maybe we'll take back in on Friday.
00:27:38.919 --> 00:27:43.959
See how you're holding up during the holidays, uh, for a little frat Thursday, Friday episode, we'll see how that lands.
00:27:44.439 --> 00:27:52.048
How I'm feeling about that with all the kids home and, uh, yeah, we'll definitely do at least one or two more before the end of the year, but I think we'll leave it there.
00:27:52.048 --> 00:28:00.499
You know, it feels weird to kind of do an episode fully on myself, but I think reflecting back over five years is a really important milestone, whether you're.
00:28:01.189 --> 00:28:02.058
There yet or not.
00:28:02.118 --> 00:28:03.229
You know, I hope you will be there.
00:28:03.229 --> 00:28:05.088
I hope you join me on the five-year mark.
00:28:05.138 --> 00:28:05.739
You know, I hope.
00:28:06.759 --> 00:28:08.199
Hope you're having a great holiday season.
00:28:08.199 --> 00:28:11.949
And if you have any questions, comments, concerns, you can always reach out to the podcast.
00:28:11.949 --> 00:28:13.419
We'll at server science.com.
00:28:13.898 --> 00:28:17.019
Hit me up on social media, Facebook, Instagram, Tik, TOK, you name it.
00:28:17.048 --> 00:28:18.128
I'm all over the place.
00:28:18.338 --> 00:28:19.328
If you can't find me.
00:28:19.989 --> 00:28:25.808
You can always just go to survivor science.com and click the contact button and shoot me an email over there.
00:28:26.979 --> 00:28:28.929
So, yeah, go enjoy the holidays.
00:28:28.929 --> 00:28:31.689
I'm going to go enjoy the family time for the next two days.
00:28:31.729 --> 00:28:33.709
Yeah, I have a safe and happy holidays.
00:28:34.338 --> 00:28:38.088
And I can't wait to see you back on the other side of this week after Christmas.
00:28:38.449 --> 00:28:41.358
And if you celebrate another holiday, enjoy that holiday as well.
00:28:41.898 --> 00:28:42.709
Take care and bye.
Survivor Science Newsletter: Helping You Rebuild Your Brain, Inspiring Resilience, and Navigate Your Second Chance! 💖
Listen On
