70. Survivor Science Soundbite: Building a Relentless Minds…
Send us a text In this episode, we dive into Relentless by Tim Grover, a powerful book on the mindset of high performers like Kobe Bryant a…
Dec. 16, 2024
70. Survivor Science Soundbite: Building a Relentless Mindset for Stroke Recovery
In this episode, we dive into Relentless by Tim Grover, a powerful book on the mindset of high performers like Kobe Bryant and Dwayne Wade, and connect its lessons to stroke recovery. Highlights include:
- The Three Archetypes: Coolers, Closers, and Cleaners—what they mean and how they align with stages of recovery.
- Embracing Discomfort: Why stepping outside your comfort zone is essential for breakthroughs.
- Consistency is Key: Building habits and pushing just a little further every day.
- Know Yourself: How self-awareness and acceptance fuel resilience and recovery.
We also discuss Limitless by Jim Kwik and how reading fuels cognitive and emotional growth.
➡️ Explore The Center by Survivor Science to join a supportive community of stroke survivors. Don't miss the ongoing holiday offer—50% off your first three months or 30% off the annual membership!
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Transcript
WEBVTT
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welcome back to another episode of survivor signs, soundbites.
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This week, we are kicking off with a.
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A couple of books I've been reading over the weekend that I really enjoyed, that I think are pertinent to stroke recovery.
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Really great topics, really great books, highly recommend both of them.
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Uh, but I want to go over one in particular this week.
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I want to talk about.
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Relentless by Tim Grover.
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It's uh, an essential book on mindset.
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And what it takes to really.
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I don't know, it's not about stroke recovery.
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It's more about athletic performance, but I think there is a big correlation between the two.
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A number of chokes are hours that I've talked to.
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Some are former athletes somewhere way, former athletes.
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But there is a mindset.
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There is a.
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Sort of mental focus, mental discipline, if you will.
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Just, I guess that is what mindset is really.
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But yeah.
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Uh, Relentless by Tim Grover.
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Great book, highly recommended.
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It is about sports.
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It is about Kobe Bryant, uh, Dwayne Wade, a couple other individuals that Tim Grover has worked with over the years.
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But there are some main points that I think are really relevant and worth talking about.
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I know this time of year is tough.
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Hopefully for you.
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It is not the case.
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You're just able to relax.
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Look forward.
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See where you want to improve going into the new year as a survivor.
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But yeah, let's dive into the book a little bit.
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They, you know, kind of to kick things off.
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Tim Grover talks about three sort of archetypes of performers.
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And you can kind of correlate these two stroke servers, you know, however you want.
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So there's coolers, closers, and cleaners.
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And coolers are dependable, but they play it safe.
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Now I've been guilty of all three of these phases throughout my show coverage journey.
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You see me now?
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And he may not think that, but believe me.
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I started at the very bottom.
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Paralyzed on the entire right side of my body, paralyzed after the Ms.
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Diagnosis on the entire left side in a wheelchair for about a year and a half.
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Probably close to two years before I could really walk comfortably regularly.
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And that might even be on the.
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The low end and it wasn't until almost a year three, where I started very lightly.
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Uh, walking slash running, jogging, getting into running.
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But I have progressed ever since.
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And so all of these phases, I'm not unfamiliar with, so I want to go through them.
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But again, the cooler is the dependable, but they play it safe.
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Often requiring some direction and avoiding high stakes.
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This is important, certainly in the beginning for any stroke survivor.
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You've survived as stroke.
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You're lucky to survive a stroke.
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I know.
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I feel that way.
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We all feel that way generally.
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And it is smart to be safe in the beginning because you certainly don't want to be.
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Taking any unnecessary steps backwards because you're probably going to happen naturally.
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So when you think about that, that makes sense.
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We probably all kind of start in that cooler mentality place.
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The next one is closers and closer to perform well under pressure, they deliver results, but they need external motivation to Excel.
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I don't know that I ever needed that, but I think we probably all go through this phase to some degree as well.
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Like we want to show people that we can do it.
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You know, I don't think we want to do it for the praise, but it certainly doesn't hurt to have a little praise and pat on the back, along the way.
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And that kind of ties into the third one, which is a cleaner.
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Which is.
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Sort of how I identify.
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I probably a lot of us do, which is, you know, the relentless individual who goes above and beyond.
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They thrive in discomfort.
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They set their own standards for greatness.
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You know, that's really, when you get to that phase of stroke recovery.
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You're starting to make progress.
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You kind of own your path, you know?
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It's not easy.
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No, it's hard work.
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Other people do not know this.
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But it is a good mentality to have because.
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You really not battling anybody else.
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It's not out proving people right or wrong.
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It's really about.
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How can you be the best version of yourself?
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So.
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You know, again, these it's a really good book.
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You don't have to be into sports.
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I think the correlation is significant and I think it's just a really good read.
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I think you can gain a lot of insight from it.
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And I think a.
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You know, It's a good motivating read.
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If you're looking for a little motivation during the holidays, you're feeling down, you want to improve.
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Certainly worth a look, if you're a stroke survivor, trying to get better at trying to improve and recovery.
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It may not be for everybody.
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It's just one book of many books.
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There are tons of books out there.
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And I think.
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You can gain something from anything you read, if you want to Beverly enough But I do think the cleaner mentality is essential for show coverage and building resilience.
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I think it does take time to get there.
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It's a non-obvious thing perhaps.
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And again, it takes time to build up to that.
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But again, in this episode, we'll go through a couple of chapters, some key principles to start the week to think about.
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You know, I just want you to see where you can take some of these principles.
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You know, go get the book, read the book, support Tim Grover and the publishing company.
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It's a great book.
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And, you know, uh, like I said, I think it's just good stuff to think about.
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And, uh, yeah, let's hop into some of the main points for this episode and we'll wrap it up.
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Uh, later this week I did finish the book, but in, in order to keep these episodes under 30 minutes, these quicker survivor side and sound bites.
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Yeah.
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You know, uh, I'll wrap it up at the end and.
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And the end of the week.
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And then this Wednesday, I do have a full episode being released, uh, which is really a good episode.
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I think you'll enjoy it.
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Uh, with Rachel Abassi I believe is her name.
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I have to.
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I'm so terrible.
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She has some, uh, I think she had a different name on our website, so apologize for the confusion in there, but.
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Got a full episode with her.
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We'll get all the details.
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In there.
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And, uh, again, she's actually been on Bill's podcast.
00:06:03.769 --> 00:06:07.100
I think she'd been on a number of podcasts before you might've seen her or heard about her.
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She has our own show called recovery daily podcasts.
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Awesome show worth checking it out, but she's got a very interesting and similar story to me.
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Anyways.
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Uh, so popping back into this episode in particular, you know, again, some things to think about.
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As we start the week and kick things off, going into the holiday season, things are probably getting stressful.
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Overwhelming.
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Try to take a step back.
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This is just some stuff to think about in your downtime in your free time.
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But really, you know, chapter one kicks off with going, you keep going when everybody else is stopping.
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You know, I think there is a balance.
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I was always, I think this is pertinent because if you're a showcase of ever really challenging yourself or wanting to challenge yourself or trying to get better, There certainly is a balance right in the beginning.
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I tried to do too much.
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I think a lot of us do.
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So it's balancing what works best for you knowing your body, learning your body.
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How can you do things with.
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You know, you want to push yourself, but not too hard.
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Certainly you want to be safe.
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But I think there's important things to know about keep, when you keep going.
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When everybody else is stopping or telling you to stop, that is a big one.
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There.
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I think a lot of people don't understand.
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And again, Each person is different.
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But cleaners.
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You know, when you look at this book, cleaners, don't stop.
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It just success.
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They reset and aim higher.
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You know, for me, I think about walking, you know, I started walking, obviously I went from the wheelchair to the Walker, to the cane, to actually walking with the AFO, to them, walking without the AFO.
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And honestly, I wasn't, I didn't stop there and I never thought I'd get into running.
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I hated running my whole life.
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But one day, I kind of just said, you know what, let's give this a go.
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Let's see what we can do.
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And that really, you know, made me aim higher than I started going.
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And I was like, oh, this isn't terrible.
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And I started tracking things and I started getting motivated and I found some support on out on X of all places collaborate.
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Uh, you.
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Not collaborated, but met some other runners.
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Who, you know, we're just encouraging.
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And that really was helpful to me because I was like, okay, yeah, let's keep going.
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And I just kept going up going out, showing up every day.
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Couple of miles, couple more miles, couple more laps.
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You've heard me say this over and over.
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I just kept staying in the neighborhood cause I want them to be safe.
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I didn't want to be far from home.
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I didn't want to go on some trail run.
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I want it to be.
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Accessible.
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If anything went wrong.
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Close to home.
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I just kept doing one more lap.
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And so I think that for me, showed I can make progress.
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It was very motivating.
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But yeah, I pushed, I continue to push further than I ever thought I would push.
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And so, you know, take from that what you will, but I think that you could take that lesson.
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I learned.
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And apply it to your own situation.
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Whether it's walking, try to walk 10 more feet.
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W even if you're with a cane or with a Walker, just try to go a little bit further each day.
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I know it sounds silly and mundane, and you've probably heard it all before.
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But just give it a whirl, you know, try what makes sense for you.
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And I do encourage you to know your body be safe, but also.
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Be mindful of the people around you.
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I don't think they're not cheering you on, but a lot of times people will say, just take it easy, just take it easy.
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Like, you know, you can just take it easy, but also know yourself, learn about yourself and, you know, can you go 10 more feet today?
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Safely super important.
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You know, and then, so that's kinda the key point from chapter one.
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Later on in chapter three, it's like knowing exactly who you are.
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And what does that mean?
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So in the book, cleaners embrace their strengths and their flaws and they fuel it to.
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You know, they use that to fuel their drive.
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You know, when it comes to show recovery.
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Acceptance is key.
00:10:03.970 --> 00:10:06.250
There is no magic pill to reverse things.
00:10:06.279 --> 00:10:16.419
Knowing where you're at, knowing where you want to go is super, super important, acknowledging your current state so that you can, we, and we've talked about this in a number of different ways, but it's really like.
00:10:17.139 --> 00:10:22.990
Assessing where you're at, knowing where you want to go and then figuring out what are the steps to get there.
00:10:23.769 --> 00:10:25.000
Super important.
00:10:25.179 --> 00:10:29.320
You know, the stuff can change, but you should have them, at least in a pot, you.
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You know, you should have them sorta laid out, but they can always change.
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That's a big thing too.
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You accept where you're at the reality where you're at, but then, you know, build the steps and the pieces to get to where you want to go.
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You know, when I think about the challenges that I've had a lot, I think we all have whether they're financial, whether they're Emotional, whether they're physical, obviously a lot of us with the physical, a lot of us with the emotional, many of us with financial, like it's not an easy thing.
00:10:59.250 --> 00:11:00.809
I think there's a lot more to that.
00:11:00.840 --> 00:11:08.519
Actually, and just to tie it into the other book that I mentioned at the top, uh, is another book called limitless by, uh, shoot.
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Uh, I know who it is because I've been reading it Jim quick, I believe is the author of limitless and that's, you know, Another great book, very similar things on mindset.
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Obviously you might've heard of Mindset the book by Carol Dweck.
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Also a good book, lots of great books on mindset.
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I think.
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All these books are great to read.
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First of all, there's cognitive benefits to reading.
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So don't listen to everybody out there who says, oh, read one book and apply everything.
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I mean, that, that does make sense.
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But do what makes sense for you?
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All these books, you can never go wrong with a book.
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I don't know.
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I love books.
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I love listening to the books, reading books.
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When you know, whenever I have time, you know, I do a lot more audible now versus physical reading.
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It's just easier.
00:11:53.970 --> 00:12:03.220
For me because you know, when I'm working out, I can actually, most of the time now I can actually just work out and listen to a book, but sometimes I do need music and that's, you know, that's okay.
00:12:03.970 --> 00:12:04.840
It's not for everybody.
00:12:05.830 --> 00:12:09.849
But again Going back to knowing exactly who you are and where you want to go.
00:12:09.938 --> 00:12:12.639
I think a question for you this week is.
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How can you accept where you're at today and what is the next step you want to take?
00:12:18.339 --> 00:12:22.509
I think that's super important to ask yourself almost daily, certainly weekly.
00:12:23.379 --> 00:12:24.609
You know, it's hard to make progress.
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If you don't have some sort of goal and know where you want to go and what you want to do.
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Obviously, we all want to get better.
00:12:31.629 --> 00:12:31.899
Right.
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But that will just better mean you got to break that down.
00:12:35.639 --> 00:12:37.820
And I think, you know, it's, there's just.
00:12:39.259 --> 00:12:40.100
A lot to it.
00:12:40.179 --> 00:12:41.769
It's not always so clear.
00:12:42.938 --> 00:12:50.438
I think another big part of this, not only do you have to kind of acknowledge where you're at, know who you are, know where you want to go.
00:12:51.369 --> 00:12:55.269
Embracing, what is uncomfortable is a really big piece of this too.
00:12:56.078 --> 00:12:58.299
I think a lot of us in the early days probably.
00:12:59.438 --> 00:13:02.919
Probably a, for lack of a better word, have to embrace this.
00:13:03.369 --> 00:13:04.089
Unwillingly.
00:13:04.839 --> 00:13:10.149
I know for myself at inpatient rehab, it was a real eye-opener and you'd get really.
00:13:11.139 --> 00:13:16.269
Whatever level of discomfort or uncomfortableness, that's not a word.
00:13:16.318 --> 00:13:17.039
Yeah, things are good.
00:13:17.188 --> 00:13:20.549
Things get uncomfortable pretty quick after stroke and you really.
00:13:21.389 --> 00:13:24.720
I don't know, maybe you're lucky, but I didn't really have a choice.
00:13:24.769 --> 00:13:25.370
And.
00:13:26.509 --> 00:13:30.980
It was uncomfortable, honestly, being around nurses, being in a hospital, not being able to walk everything.
00:13:31.039 --> 00:13:31.639
Oh, it's stroke.
00:13:31.669 --> 00:13:31.969
Really?
00:13:31.969 --> 00:13:34.730
For me, my experience was uncomfortable.
00:13:35.899 --> 00:13:40.219
And that really looking back, taught me to embrace the discomfort.
00:13:40.279 --> 00:13:44.269
It also taught me how to kind of ball F more at myself and just like.
00:13:45.350 --> 00:13:51.708
The sheer ridiculousness of some of the things that you experienced as a stroke survivor are kind of funny.
00:13:51.740 --> 00:13:53.779
I mean, they're sad, but they're kind of funny.
00:13:54.649 --> 00:13:58.129
And again, the only way through, only way around it is through it.
00:13:58.159 --> 00:14:00.438
I mean, I don't know.
00:14:00.469 --> 00:14:06.349
I don't think there's really an option to do anything, but embrace the discomfort of being uncomfortable.
00:14:06.960 --> 00:14:10.440
But discomfort again is really necessary for the breakthroughs.
00:14:10.440 --> 00:14:13.200
I can go back and look at each year.
00:14:14.129 --> 00:14:19.110
And again, we're coming up on my five-year, uh, stroke anniversary probably later this week, actually.
00:14:19.110 --> 00:14:21.090
And, uh, or early next week.
00:14:22.019 --> 00:14:22.440
And.
00:14:23.789 --> 00:14:29.399
You know, like I said, discomfort is necessary for breakthroughs and looking back every point.
00:14:29.730 --> 00:14:33.539
That was uncomfortable when I pushed myself a little bit further.
00:14:34.529 --> 00:14:37.139
Those are where the breakthrough started to happen.
00:14:37.169 --> 00:14:38.549
It can be really.
00:14:39.480 --> 00:14:41.580
Challenging difficult.
00:14:41.639 --> 00:14:43.529
Frustrating, annoying.
00:14:44.370 --> 00:14:47.460
Knowing when to push yourself how to push yourself.
00:14:47.509 --> 00:14:53.000
Again, I just, I look back and I wish there were things that I knew sooner.
00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:56.090
I wish there were tools and access to things I had sooner.
00:14:56.750 --> 00:15:03.860
Uh, kind of the reason I do this podcast and a lot of survivors do these podcasts and really share information, whether it's social media.
00:15:04.370 --> 00:15:05.600
You're a content creator.
00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:06.500
You're on Tik TOK.
00:15:06.500 --> 00:15:07.159
You're on Instagram.
00:15:07.159 --> 00:15:08.720
You're on Facebook, wherever, whatever.
00:15:08.720 --> 00:15:13.039
I think a lot of us share these things because there are things that we wish we knew sooner.
00:15:14.779 --> 00:15:17.570
Because it is a process and sometimes.
00:15:18.350 --> 00:15:19.309
I think it is true.
00:15:19.340 --> 00:15:26.149
There's a combination, things appear, uh, seemingly magically or for seemingly no reason.
00:15:26.809 --> 00:15:33.289
When you're ready and you need to know them, but also I could look back and say, gosh, I wish I knew this sooner.
00:15:33.289 --> 00:15:36.559
Like, There are definitely things like the breath work that I always talk about.
00:15:37.639 --> 00:15:42.320
I certainly wish I was more aware of that and really understood.
00:15:43.519 --> 00:15:53.210
Just some of the benefits, you know, whether it was cognitive brain fog and dealing with focus after stroke and resting the body and sort of relaxing the mind.
00:15:53.899 --> 00:15:58.549
So many things with breath work I could have been doing while I was physically unable to walk.
00:15:58.580 --> 00:15:59.720
That would have been helpful.
00:15:59.809 --> 00:16:01.909
It's still great that I learned it later.
00:16:01.940 --> 00:16:02.779
Better than never.
00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:03.799
For sure.
00:16:04.009 --> 00:16:05.899
You'll never hear me go against that.
00:16:05.899 --> 00:16:09.259
But again, Just little things that I wish I knew sooner.
00:16:09.809 --> 00:16:13.860
You know, when I think about discomfort, the only story that comes up to me is really.
00:16:14.730 --> 00:16:15.750
I was right-handed.
00:16:15.750 --> 00:16:16.710
I am right-handed.
00:16:16.769 --> 00:16:18.330
I am right-side effected.
00:16:18.379 --> 00:16:22.820
When I was in inpatient rehab, I could tell you, I think we can all agree.
00:16:23.720 --> 00:16:30.769
When you're debilitated and disabled on the right side of your body, and you do not have full use of motor function with your hand.
00:16:31.879 --> 00:16:33.440
There are things that are difficult.
00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:35.360
That really, I'm not going to go into it.
00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:43.730
Cause I've talked about it a number of times, but you know, There are things you can't do that you wish you could, that are embarrassing.
00:16:43.879 --> 00:16:45.860
Unsettling, weird.
00:16:46.460 --> 00:16:48.559
Uncomfortable named the agitate.
00:16:49.850 --> 00:16:50.240
Yeah.
00:16:50.269 --> 00:16:52.220
I mean, it always comes back to.
00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:53.870
For lack of a better word.
00:16:54.169 --> 00:16:58.879
The restroom situation, uh, is probably you learn quickly.
00:16:59.360 --> 00:17:04.130
That you no longer have an option to be a certain way to be.
00:17:05.089 --> 00:17:06.920
Privacy goes out the window.
00:17:06.980 --> 00:17:10.130
Uh, you need help with things your family's not always there.
00:17:10.130 --> 00:17:13.609
Your Wayforest husband is not always there to help you at every moment.
00:17:14.269 --> 00:17:15.500
Certainly not in my case.
00:17:15.589 --> 00:17:17.210
A lot of times my wife was around.
00:17:18.259 --> 00:17:27.740
But many times she was not, uh, because she did not live in inpatient with a, my, you know, When you're in name, patient, uh, my kids were at home with my wife.
00:17:27.799 --> 00:17:29.539
She would come visit almost every day.
00:17:30.710 --> 00:17:35.339
But you are humbled and you just sort of learn to embrace the discomfort.
00:17:35.878 --> 00:17:36.990
It's a part of life.
00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:39.648
It's not the best part, but it's.
00:17:40.579 --> 00:17:42.289
You learn quick, you learn.
00:17:43.128 --> 00:17:43.609
All right.
00:17:44.059 --> 00:17:49.339
Now I've got to get to work because I do not want this to be the case for a long period of time.
00:17:49.339 --> 00:17:50.569
I want this to be.
00:17:51.709 --> 00:17:59.059
I want it to never happen, but now that it's happened and now that I have no choice the sooner I can learn to address these things and fix things the better.
00:18:00.528 --> 00:18:01.099
So, yeah.
00:18:01.128 --> 00:18:02.500
Uh, it's a lot of things.
00:18:02.500 --> 00:18:06.699
Again, this book by Tim Grover, relentless is a really good read, highly recommended.
00:18:06.759 --> 00:18:08.319
A lot of it applies to sports.
00:18:08.319 --> 00:18:09.759
Obviously, Tim is an athletic.
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:11.529
Uh, coach trainer.
00:18:11.979 --> 00:18:15.398
Not really trainer, but he works with high performing athletes.
00:18:15.429 --> 00:18:16.000
And I think.
00:18:16.779 --> 00:18:17.439
Stroke recovery.
00:18:17.469 --> 00:18:20.559
I've talked about this a lot is really the way I attack it.
00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:26.170
The way I would recommend to somebody is to look at athletes who want to be high performers.
00:18:27.339 --> 00:18:30.430
Because it's the only way to really.
00:18:31.779 --> 00:18:38.410
Make the biggest strides in improving is to take sort of big, safe chances.
00:18:38.920 --> 00:18:42.609
But you have to push yourself because nobody else is going to push it again.
00:18:42.609 --> 00:18:43.599
There's no magic pill.
00:18:44.289 --> 00:18:50.230
I wished there was there's a lot of tools and technology available to us now that wasn't even available five years ago.
00:18:50.980 --> 00:18:53.650
And it's all very helpful, but you got to put in the work.
00:18:54.339 --> 00:18:57.160
And the more work you put in the better, the results.
00:18:57.369 --> 00:19:03.670
Although I will preface that with saying you cannot do it all at one time, the more you're able to do.
00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:09.940
Slow and steady sort of does kind of win this race for a lack of a better analogy, but.
00:19:11.380 --> 00:19:12.579
Believe me, I learned the hard way.
00:19:12.579 --> 00:19:13.930
You cannot do everything at once.
00:19:15.130 --> 00:19:15.460
Yeah.
00:19:16.450 --> 00:19:25.390
So again, Uh, just to wrap up this episode because we're already at the 20 minute mark, uh, you know, check out that book, check out limitless by Jim quick two great books.
00:19:25.390 --> 00:19:26.619
I highly recommend.
00:19:27.930 --> 00:19:34.109
Recovery is all about consistency, embracing the challenges, challenging yourself, challenging your mindset, challenging your mind.
00:19:34.799 --> 00:19:36.509
Battling your own brain.
00:19:36.539 --> 00:19:38.039
A lot of times in recovery.
00:19:38.089 --> 00:19:41.450
It's how do you overcome the frustrations, those moments where you're.
00:19:42.170 --> 00:19:42.799
Sick of it.
00:19:42.900 --> 00:19:50.880
You know, I can only keep saying the more you put in the more you challenge yourself, the more times you get up, the more times you fight back.
00:19:51.869 --> 00:19:53.220
The better the outcome.
00:19:53.269 --> 00:19:56.089
So when hopefully you go check out these books.
00:19:56.299 --> 00:19:57.950
You know, I definitely recommend you.
00:19:57.980 --> 00:19:59.269
You think about these things.
00:19:59.839 --> 00:20:01.700
Reflect on applying these principles.
00:20:01.700 --> 00:20:03.859
How can shift your mindset in recovery?
00:20:03.859 --> 00:20:06.619
If you're somebody out there still trying to work, still trying to grind.
00:20:07.369 --> 00:20:08.390
You know, get better.
00:20:09.079 --> 00:20:15.650
I think what it really comes down to too, in a lot of things, just to kind of tie it all back together for both books.
00:20:15.650 --> 00:20:17.900
It's like, it is about mindset.
00:20:17.960 --> 00:20:18.799
It is about.
00:20:19.819 --> 00:20:21.500
Having an being unwilling.
00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:23.000
To accept.
00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:23.599
Good enough.
00:20:23.630 --> 00:20:29.450
Now there are points where you can accept good enough for a certain thing, but I think you might want to come back and revisit that.
00:20:30.140 --> 00:20:33.589
Because good enough to simply isn't good enough at the end of the day.
00:20:34.309 --> 00:20:37.609
Why not try to achieve everything, you know?
00:20:38.029 --> 00:20:41.269
And get to the level that you really want to get to and then push yourself.
00:20:41.569 --> 00:20:41.930
Further.
00:20:41.930 --> 00:20:43.730
I know this sounds a lot like David Goggins.
00:20:44.299 --> 00:20:47.119
And a lot of the big people out there, but they're not wrong.
00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:53.630
You have more to give to your recovery, to your, to yourself, to your family, to your loved ones.
00:20:53.630 --> 00:20:56.000
I mean, think about all the people that support you along the way.
00:20:56.869 --> 00:21:00.799
Don't you owe it to your, to yourself first and foremost, but you also owed to them.
00:21:01.160 --> 00:21:04.490
Because they've been helping and they supported and whatever.
00:21:05.180 --> 00:21:06.259
Sometimes they go away.
00:21:06.259 --> 00:21:07.190
Sometimes they don't.
00:21:07.250 --> 00:21:07.579
Right.
00:21:07.579 --> 00:21:13.579
But like, They put in time and effort and you should work for yourself, but also.
00:21:14.599 --> 00:21:23.000
It's a way of giving back to show everybody that it's, it is been more wild investing their time, their money, their energy, whatever they've given, whatever they've done for you.
00:21:23.839 --> 00:21:24.829
I think it's important.
00:21:24.829 --> 00:21:27.180
And you know, I encourage everybody to share your story.
00:21:27.869 --> 00:21:29.849
Again, If you're interested.
00:21:29.970 --> 00:21:33.660
Uh, check out the center, you know, go over to survivor science.com.
00:21:33.660 --> 00:21:35.069
There's joined the center button.
00:21:35.069 --> 00:21:37.200
It'll bring you to a page, kind of run you through.
00:21:37.769 --> 00:21:39.720
What everything looks like inside the center.
00:21:39.750 --> 00:21:43.230
I'm running a black Friday special still, uh, through Christmas day.
00:21:43.230 --> 00:21:46.970
If you do like what you see at the when you click the button at the top of the website.
00:21:47.000 --> 00:21:47.059
So.
00:21:47.210 --> 00:21:48.019
Join the center.
00:21:48.529 --> 00:21:56.210
If you like what you see, if you want to join a community online of stroke survivors that are able to ask questions, you have questions every day, like every day.
00:21:56.599 --> 00:21:59.210
It doesn't matter what type of question, doesn't matter, what hour you're on there.
00:21:59.210 --> 00:21:59.779
It's all.
00:21:59.779 --> 00:22:03.960
It's if you're familiar with the old AOL chat rooms and things like that, it's a space.
00:22:04.470 --> 00:22:09.150
And a safe space and it is a paid space because, you know, I just run it differently.
00:22:10.049 --> 00:22:13.920
I found a lot of Facebook groups to be kind of just lackluster.
00:22:14.670 --> 00:22:18.210
Uh, it's great meeting other people on social media throughout.
00:22:18.569 --> 00:22:21.210
You know, We had a great content meetup last week.
00:22:21.210 --> 00:22:23.710
I mean, part of this community, it is a paid community.
00:22:23.710 --> 00:22:25.539
You can ask questions at any point.
00:22:25.539 --> 00:22:29.710
Any time I'll get back to another survivor might hop in and give their 2 cents.
00:22:30.220 --> 00:22:34.869
It's really to build a supportive online community where we can ask questions, communicate.
00:22:35.470 --> 00:22:37.480
But it doesn't always have to be on zoom.
00:22:38.289 --> 00:22:41.710
Uh, we do have a couple of zoom meetups, at least one weekly call.
00:22:42.009 --> 00:22:44.650
Some office hours, the monthly meetup for everybody.
00:22:45.099 --> 00:22:48.549
I'm trying to build some workshops again, we just had to create our workshop last Friday.
00:22:48.549 --> 00:22:51.220
That was really great wound up talking about podcasting.
00:22:51.759 --> 00:22:53.589
Everybody's seen broadly interested in podcasting.
00:22:53.589 --> 00:22:56.769
So we went there and I think we're going to do more about that in the future.
00:22:56.769 --> 00:22:58.420
Kind of break that down for everybody.
00:22:59.019 --> 00:23:01.210
And these workshops and cohorts and things like that.
00:23:01.269 --> 00:23:02.559
They're worthwhile there.
00:23:02.559 --> 00:23:03.940
They're learning new skills.
00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:05.799
You know, for myself, I love learning.
00:23:05.799 --> 00:23:06.609
I love teaching.
00:23:07.180 --> 00:23:10.930
I love helping other people learn things that you don't for me.
00:23:11.500 --> 00:23:17.500
Sometimes I forget, like these things that I've learned over the, my 42 years on the earth, like I forget not everybody knows these things.
00:23:17.529 --> 00:23:17.920
Like it's.
00:23:18.460 --> 00:23:20.349
It's a pretty common thing amongst creators.
00:23:20.380 --> 00:23:24.009
It's like, oh, I don't share X, Y, and Z because I think everybody knows it.
00:23:24.009 --> 00:23:24.759
And all of a sudden.
00:23:25.900 --> 00:23:29.529
Everybody shows up and like nobody knows anything and they want to learn.
00:23:29.559 --> 00:23:33.519
So like, I think we all have a lot to share a lot to learn from each other.
00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:35.200
So I encourage you to check out the center.
00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:36.640
I know this is a little long-winded.
00:23:37.240 --> 00:23:41.380
Plug for the center and survivor science, but it is something I'm trying to build and grow.
00:23:41.380 --> 00:23:44.289
I think our community of stroke survivors really needs a space.
00:23:45.549 --> 00:23:51.759
That has a little bit away from social media where it's safe and secure, and it's not filled with spam and robots and.
00:23:51.849 --> 00:23:54.819
And garbage post and medical cure this and medical.
00:23:54.940 --> 00:23:58.059
If this is real people in a real online community.
00:23:58.359 --> 00:24:02.200
Sharing real stories, real information, wanting connection.
00:24:02.799 --> 00:24:11.679
You know, again, we have zooms are lots of strokes of our communities and non-profits out there all connecting and doing meetups on zoom and things like that.
00:24:12.369 --> 00:24:14.679
Again, this has that component, but it also has.
00:24:15.759 --> 00:24:18.299
You know, figure building a course, some thinking about building.
00:24:18.779 --> 00:24:21.480
I want to build things that make sense for Shokes fibers.
00:24:21.480 --> 00:24:23.039
Like what are the things that you want to learn?
00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:31.799
What are the things that beyond this podcast that we can go more in depth than, and you know, all the members of the community, they get access for free to the workshops.
00:24:31.888 --> 00:24:34.710
We can do workshops where we invite people externally.
00:24:35.398 --> 00:24:36.809
And charge a little bit of fee.
00:24:37.559 --> 00:24:39.419
Again it's not a huge.
00:24:39.989 --> 00:24:43.769
Some money, but it is some money to join uh, getting abused, the black.
00:24:44.039 --> 00:24:45.509
Uh, the co coupon code.
00:24:45.930 --> 00:24:47.609
BF 50 at checkout.
00:24:47.759 --> 00:24:50.398
It's a 50% off your first three months.
00:24:50.559 --> 00:24:51.788
Of the center.
00:24:52.209 --> 00:24:58.269
By survivor science, or you can actually sign up for the annual membership, become a yearly member at 30% off, which is a great deal.
00:24:58.959 --> 00:24:59.589
First year.
00:24:59.949 --> 00:25:00.969
250 bucks.
00:25:00.999 --> 00:25:04.628
I mean, that's like three copays at the doctor, so I think it's worthwhile.
00:25:04.628 --> 00:25:06.278
I hope you'll join us, check it out.
00:25:06.278 --> 00:25:10.388
And, uh, Yeah, I guess we'll leave it there for this episode.
00:25:10.388 --> 00:25:10.659
Again.
00:25:10.659 --> 00:25:11.528
Check out the books.
00:25:11.528 --> 00:25:11.589
Run.
00:25:11.859 --> 00:25:15.638
This by Tim Grover and Jim quicks limitless, I think both are great reads.
00:25:15.638 --> 00:25:19.689
And, uh, we, uh, we'll be back on Wednesday with a full episode and then we'll see you again on Friday.
00:25:19.749 --> 00:25:20.528
Erupt the week.
00:25:20.949 --> 00:25:22.209
Hope you enjoyed this episode.
00:00:04.259 --> 00:00:06.839
welcome back to another episode of survivor signs, soundbites.
00:00:07.259 --> 00:00:09.300
This week, we are kicking off with a.
00:00:09.990 --> 00:00:15.810
A couple of books I've been reading over the weekend that I really enjoyed, that I think are pertinent to stroke recovery.
00:00:16.260 --> 00:00:20.250
Really great topics, really great books, highly recommend both of them.
00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:23.940
Uh, but I want to go over one in particular this week.
00:00:23.940 --> 00:00:24.809
I want to talk about.
00:00:25.440 --> 00:00:27.089
Relentless by Tim Grover.
00:00:27.149 --> 00:00:30.210
It's uh, an essential book on mindset.
00:00:30.690 --> 00:00:32.189
And what it takes to really.
00:00:33.539 --> 00:00:35.340
I don't know, it's not about stroke recovery.
00:00:35.340 --> 00:00:39.810
It's more about athletic performance, but I think there is a big correlation between the two.
00:00:40.170 --> 00:00:42.149
A number of chokes are hours that I've talked to.
00:00:43.289 --> 00:00:46.799
Some are former athletes somewhere way, former athletes.
00:00:47.310 --> 00:00:48.539
But there is a mindset.
00:00:48.539 --> 00:00:49.289
There is a.
00:00:50.340 --> 00:00:54.539
Sort of mental focus, mental discipline, if you will.
00:00:54.539 --> 00:00:57.179
Just, I guess that is what mindset is really.
00:00:57.729 --> 00:00:58.179
But yeah.
00:00:58.539 --> 00:01:00.969
Uh, Relentless by Tim Grover.
00:01:01.029 --> 00:01:02.469
Great book, highly recommended.
00:01:03.070 --> 00:01:04.180
It is about sports.
00:01:04.180 --> 00:01:10.810
It is about Kobe Bryant, uh, Dwayne Wade, a couple other individuals that Tim Grover has worked with over the years.
00:01:12.219 --> 00:01:16.840
But there are some main points that I think are really relevant and worth talking about.
00:01:17.228 --> 00:01:18.969
I know this time of year is tough.
00:01:19.448 --> 00:01:20.349
Hopefully for you.
00:01:20.349 --> 00:01:21.459
It is not the case.
00:01:21.459 --> 00:01:22.810
You're just able to relax.
00:01:23.198 --> 00:01:24.009
Look forward.
00:01:24.909 --> 00:01:28.120
See where you want to improve going into the new year as a survivor.
00:01:28.170 --> 00:01:29.879
But yeah, let's dive into the book a little bit.
00:01:29.909 --> 00:01:32.040
They, you know, kind of to kick things off.
00:01:33.480 --> 00:01:36.900
Tim Grover talks about three sort of archetypes of performers.
00:01:37.349 --> 00:01:42.030
And you can kind of correlate these two stroke servers, you know, however you want.
00:01:42.689 --> 00:01:44.939
So there's coolers, closers, and cleaners.
00:01:45.629 --> 00:01:49.079
And coolers are dependable, but they play it safe.
00:01:49.140 --> 00:01:53.010
Now I've been guilty of all three of these phases throughout my show coverage journey.
00:01:53.760 --> 00:01:54.629
You see me now?
00:01:54.989 --> 00:01:56.700
And he may not think that, but believe me.
00:01:57.030 --> 00:01:58.530
I started at the very bottom.
00:01:59.310 --> 00:02:03.569
Paralyzed on the entire right side of my body, paralyzed after the Ms.
00:02:03.569 --> 00:02:07.859
Diagnosis on the entire left side in a wheelchair for about a year and a half.
00:02:08.550 --> 00:02:12.900
Probably close to two years before I could really walk comfortably regularly.
00:02:12.900 --> 00:02:14.400
And that might even be on the.
00:02:15.150 --> 00:02:20.430
The low end and it wasn't until almost a year three, where I started very lightly.
00:02:20.430 --> 00:02:23.939
Uh, walking slash running, jogging, getting into running.
00:02:24.659 --> 00:02:26.729
But I have progressed ever since.
00:02:27.539 --> 00:02:31.560
And so all of these phases, I'm not unfamiliar with, so I want to go through them.
00:02:31.560 --> 00:02:34.110
But again, the cooler is the dependable, but they play it safe.
00:02:34.860 --> 00:02:37.979
Often requiring some direction and avoiding high stakes.
00:02:38.039 --> 00:02:41.430
This is important, certainly in the beginning for any stroke survivor.
00:02:42.030 --> 00:02:43.259
You've survived as stroke.
00:02:43.289 --> 00:02:44.729
You're lucky to survive a stroke.
00:02:44.789 --> 00:02:45.300
I know.
00:02:45.300 --> 00:02:46.169
I feel that way.
00:02:46.169 --> 00:02:47.729
We all feel that way generally.
00:02:49.020 --> 00:02:52.650
And it is smart to be safe in the beginning because you certainly don't want to be.
00:02:53.189 --> 00:02:57.750
Taking any unnecessary steps backwards because you're probably going to happen naturally.
00:02:58.530 --> 00:03:00.509
So when you think about that, that makes sense.
00:03:00.509 --> 00:03:03.900
We probably all kind of start in that cooler mentality place.
00:03:05.370 --> 00:03:12.389
The next one is closers and closer to perform well under pressure, they deliver results, but they need external motivation to Excel.
00:03:13.620 --> 00:03:18.750
I don't know that I ever needed that, but I think we probably all go through this phase to some degree as well.
00:03:18.750 --> 00:03:20.729
Like we want to show people that we can do it.
00:03:21.368 --> 00:03:29.199
You know, I don't think we want to do it for the praise, but it certainly doesn't hurt to have a little praise and pat on the back, along the way.
00:03:30.219 --> 00:03:32.679
And that kind of ties into the third one, which is a cleaner.
00:03:33.340 --> 00:03:34.030
Which is.
00:03:34.840 --> 00:03:36.219
Sort of how I identify.
00:03:36.219 --> 00:03:40.990
I probably a lot of us do, which is, you know, the relentless individual who goes above and beyond.
00:03:41.979 --> 00:03:43.300
They thrive in discomfort.
00:03:43.300 --> 00:03:45.370
They set their own standards for greatness.
00:03:45.400 --> 00:03:49.000
You know, that's really, when you get to that phase of stroke recovery.
00:03:49.629 --> 00:03:51.159
You're starting to make progress.
00:03:51.189 --> 00:03:53.590
You kind of own your path, you know?
00:03:54.610 --> 00:03:55.479
It's not easy.
00:03:55.479 --> 00:03:56.590
No, it's hard work.
00:03:56.620 --> 00:03:58.210
Other people do not know this.
00:03:58.259 --> 00:04:00.599
But it is a good mentality to have because.
00:04:01.289 --> 00:04:03.240
You really not battling anybody else.
00:04:03.300 --> 00:04:05.250
It's not out proving people right or wrong.
00:04:05.250 --> 00:04:06.120
It's really about.
00:04:06.599 --> 00:04:09.060
How can you be the best version of yourself?
00:04:09.090 --> 00:04:09.479
So.
00:04:10.830 --> 00:04:12.990
You know, again, these it's a really good book.
00:04:13.020 --> 00:04:14.340
You don't have to be into sports.
00:04:14.370 --> 00:04:19.170
I think the correlation is significant and I think it's just a really good read.
00:04:19.589 --> 00:04:21.420
I think you can gain a lot of insight from it.
00:04:22.199 --> 00:04:23.160
And I think a.
00:04:23.730 --> 00:04:25.649
You know, It's a good motivating read.
00:04:25.649 --> 00:04:30.420
If you're looking for a little motivation during the holidays, you're feeling down, you want to improve.
00:04:30.870 --> 00:04:35.339
Certainly worth a look, if you're a stroke survivor, trying to get better at trying to improve and recovery.
00:04:35.899 --> 00:04:37.069
It may not be for everybody.
00:04:37.069 --> 00:04:38.928
It's just one book of many books.
00:04:38.928 --> 00:04:40.548
There are tons of books out there.
00:04:42.048 --> 00:04:42.678
And I think.
00:04:43.218 --> 00:04:51.848
You can gain something from anything you read, if you want to Beverly enough But I do think the cleaner mentality is essential for show coverage and building resilience.
00:04:52.449 --> 00:04:54.519
I think it does take time to get there.
00:04:54.519 --> 00:04:57.218
It's a non-obvious thing perhaps.
00:04:58.478 --> 00:05:00.579
And again, it takes time to build up to that.
00:05:00.629 --> 00:05:05.339
But again, in this episode, we'll go through a couple of chapters, some key principles to start the week to think about.
00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:10.129
You know, I just want you to see where you can take some of these principles.
00:05:10.220 --> 00:05:14.149
You know, go get the book, read the book, support Tim Grover and the publishing company.
00:05:14.540 --> 00:05:15.529
It's a great book.
00:05:16.639 --> 00:05:20.720
And, you know, uh, like I said, I think it's just good stuff to think about.
00:05:20.750 --> 00:05:26.389
And, uh, yeah, let's hop into some of the main points for this episode and we'll wrap it up.
00:05:26.420 --> 00:05:33.889
Uh, later this week I did finish the book, but in, in order to keep these episodes under 30 minutes, these quicker survivor side and sound bites.
00:05:35.529 --> 00:05:35.920
Yeah.
00:05:36.009 --> 00:05:37.639
You know, uh, I'll wrap it up at the end and.
00:05:37.639 --> 00:05:38.660
And the end of the week.
00:05:38.660 --> 00:05:44.839
And then this Wednesday, I do have a full episode being released, uh, which is really a good episode.
00:05:44.839 --> 00:05:45.920
I think you'll enjoy it.
00:05:46.519 --> 00:05:48.889
Uh, with Rachel Abassi I believe is her name.
00:05:48.889 --> 00:05:49.370
I have to.
00:05:49.920 --> 00:05:50.850
I'm so terrible.
00:05:50.930 --> 00:05:56.300
She has some, uh, I think she had a different name on our website, so apologize for the confusion in there, but.
00:05:57.079 --> 00:05:58.339
Got a full episode with her.
00:05:58.339 --> 00:05:59.480
We'll get all the details.
00:06:00.110 --> 00:06:00.649
In there.
00:06:00.649 --> 00:06:03.769
And, uh, again, she's actually been on Bill's podcast.
00:06:03.769 --> 00:06:07.100
I think she'd been on a number of podcasts before you might've seen her or heard about her.
00:06:07.129 --> 00:06:10.040
She has our own show called recovery daily podcasts.
00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:14.660
Awesome show worth checking it out, but she's got a very interesting and similar story to me.
00:06:16.069 --> 00:06:16.699
Anyways.
00:06:16.759 --> 00:06:21.709
Uh, so popping back into this episode in particular, you know, again, some things to think about.
00:06:22.129 --> 00:06:26.839
As we start the week and kick things off, going into the holiday season, things are probably getting stressful.
00:06:27.079 --> 00:06:27.949
Overwhelming.
00:06:29.449 --> 00:06:30.769
Try to take a step back.
00:06:30.800 --> 00:06:34.490
This is just some stuff to think about in your downtime in your free time.
00:06:35.779 --> 00:06:42.079
But really, you know, chapter one kicks off with going, you keep going when everybody else is stopping.
00:06:42.129 --> 00:06:45.579
You know, I think there is a balance.
00:06:45.639 --> 00:06:58.870
I was always, I think this is pertinent because if you're a showcase of ever really challenging yourself or wanting to challenge yourself or trying to get better, There certainly is a balance right in the beginning.
00:06:58.870 --> 00:07:00.310
I tried to do too much.
00:07:00.339 --> 00:07:01.480
I think a lot of us do.
00:07:02.259 --> 00:07:07.209
So it's balancing what works best for you knowing your body, learning your body.
00:07:07.209 --> 00:07:09.160
How can you do things with.
00:07:09.370 --> 00:07:11.560
You know, you want to push yourself, but not too hard.
00:07:11.829 --> 00:07:13.209
Certainly you want to be safe.
00:07:14.259 --> 00:07:18.300
But I think there's important things to know about keep, when you keep going.
00:07:18.600 --> 00:07:22.319
When everybody else is stopping or telling you to stop, that is a big one.
00:07:22.319 --> 00:07:22.620
There.
00:07:23.279 --> 00:07:25.379
I think a lot of people don't understand.
00:07:25.560 --> 00:07:28.230
And again, Each person is different.
00:07:29.040 --> 00:07:29.850
But cleaners.
00:07:30.060 --> 00:07:32.819
You know, when you look at this book, cleaners, don't stop.
00:07:32.819 --> 00:07:33.660
It just success.
00:07:33.660 --> 00:07:35.250
They reset and aim higher.
00:07:36.029 --> 00:07:46.980
You know, for me, I think about walking, you know, I started walking, obviously I went from the wheelchair to the Walker, to the cane, to actually walking with the AFO, to them, walking without the AFO.
00:07:47.850 --> 00:07:51.810
And honestly, I wasn't, I didn't stop there and I never thought I'd get into running.
00:07:51.810 --> 00:07:53.189
I hated running my whole life.
00:07:53.910 --> 00:07:56.730
But one day, I kind of just said, you know what, let's give this a go.
00:07:56.730 --> 00:07:57.810
Let's see what we can do.
00:07:58.920 --> 00:08:02.399
And that really, you know, made me aim higher than I started going.
00:08:02.399 --> 00:08:04.199
And I was like, oh, this isn't terrible.
00:08:04.949 --> 00:08:11.550
And I started tracking things and I started getting motivated and I found some support on out on X of all places collaborate.
00:08:11.579 --> 00:08:11.730
Uh, you.
00:08:11.910 --> 00:08:14.399
Not collaborated, but met some other runners.
00:08:15.180 --> 00:08:17.220
Who, you know, we're just encouraging.
00:08:17.220 --> 00:08:20.670
And that really was helpful to me because I was like, okay, yeah, let's keep going.
00:08:21.389 --> 00:08:24.500
And I just kept going up going out, showing up every day.
00:08:25.129 --> 00:08:27.889
Couple of miles, couple more miles, couple more laps.
00:08:27.889 --> 00:08:29.209
You've heard me say this over and over.
00:08:29.209 --> 00:08:31.879
I just kept staying in the neighborhood cause I want them to be safe.
00:08:31.879 --> 00:08:33.230
I didn't want to be far from home.
00:08:33.740 --> 00:08:35.360
I didn't want to go on some trail run.
00:08:35.419 --> 00:08:36.110
I want it to be.
00:08:36.590 --> 00:08:37.159
Accessible.
00:08:37.159 --> 00:08:38.179
If anything went wrong.
00:08:38.600 --> 00:08:39.379
Close to home.
00:08:39.409 --> 00:08:41.720
I just kept doing one more lap.
00:08:42.379 --> 00:08:45.980
And so I think that for me, showed I can make progress.
00:08:46.009 --> 00:08:48.379
It was very motivating.
00:08:48.429 --> 00:08:52.960
But yeah, I pushed, I continue to push further than I ever thought I would push.
00:08:53.470 --> 00:08:58.929
And so, you know, take from that what you will, but I think that you could take that lesson.
00:08:58.929 --> 00:08:59.500
I learned.
00:08:59.919 --> 00:09:01.539
And apply it to your own situation.
00:09:01.539 --> 00:09:03.909
Whether it's walking, try to walk 10 more feet.
00:09:04.539 --> 00:09:08.769
W even if you're with a cane or with a Walker, just try to go a little bit further each day.
00:09:08.769 --> 00:09:13.509
I know it sounds silly and mundane, and you've probably heard it all before.
00:09:14.919 --> 00:09:18.279
But just give it a whirl, you know, try what makes sense for you.
00:09:18.370 --> 00:09:22.450
And I do encourage you to know your body be safe, but also.
00:09:23.470 --> 00:09:25.090
Be mindful of the people around you.
00:09:25.190 --> 00:09:30.320
I don't think they're not cheering you on, but a lot of times people will say, just take it easy, just take it easy.
00:09:30.350 --> 00:09:37.059
Like, you know, you can just take it easy, but also know yourself, learn about yourself and, you know, can you go 10 more feet today?
00:09:37.539 --> 00:09:39.340
Safely super important.
00:09:40.120 --> 00:09:43.950
You know, and then, so that's kinda the key point from chapter one.
00:09:44.610 --> 00:09:48.149
Later on in chapter three, it's like knowing exactly who you are.
00:09:49.500 --> 00:09:50.429
And what does that mean?
00:09:50.590 --> 00:09:55.360
So in the book, cleaners embrace their strengths and their flaws and they fuel it to.
00:09:56.350 --> 00:09:58.659
You know, they use that to fuel their drive.
00:09:59.799 --> 00:10:01.750
You know, when it comes to show recovery.
00:10:02.529 --> 00:10:03.850
Acceptance is key.
00:10:03.970 --> 00:10:06.250
There is no magic pill to reverse things.
00:10:06.279 --> 00:10:16.419
Knowing where you're at, knowing where you want to go is super, super important, acknowledging your current state so that you can, we, and we've talked about this in a number of different ways, but it's really like.
00:10:17.139 --> 00:10:22.990
Assessing where you're at, knowing where you want to go and then figuring out what are the steps to get there.
00:10:23.769 --> 00:10:25.000
Super important.
00:10:25.179 --> 00:10:29.320
You know, the stuff can change, but you should have them, at least in a pot, you.
00:10:29.350 --> 00:10:32.409
You know, you should have them sorta laid out, but they can always change.
00:10:32.440 --> 00:10:33.429
That's a big thing too.
00:10:34.629 --> 00:10:42.970
You accept where you're at the reality where you're at, but then, you know, build the steps and the pieces to get to where you want to go.
00:10:44.500 --> 00:10:57.870
You know, when I think about the challenges that I've had a lot, I think we all have whether they're financial, whether they're Emotional, whether they're physical, obviously a lot of us with the physical, a lot of us with the emotional, many of us with financial, like it's not an easy thing.
00:10:59.250 --> 00:11:00.809
I think there's a lot more to that.
00:11:00.840 --> 00:11:08.519
Actually, and just to tie it into the other book that I mentioned at the top, uh, is another book called limitless by, uh, shoot.
00:11:08.850 --> 00:11:19.679
Uh, I know who it is because I've been reading it Jim quick, I believe is the author of limitless and that's, you know, Another great book, very similar things on mindset.
00:11:19.740 --> 00:11:22.990
Obviously you might've heard of Mindset the book by Carol Dweck.
00:11:23.110 --> 00:11:25.629
Also a good book, lots of great books on mindset.
00:11:25.659 --> 00:11:26.139
I think.
00:11:27.730 --> 00:11:30.129
All these books are great to read.
00:11:30.159 --> 00:11:32.289
First of all, there's cognitive benefits to reading.
00:11:32.320 --> 00:11:35.649
So don't listen to everybody out there who says, oh, read one book and apply everything.
00:11:35.649 --> 00:11:37.059
I mean, that, that does make sense.
00:11:37.059 --> 00:11:38.620
But do what makes sense for you?
00:11:39.730 --> 00:11:42.970
All these books, you can never go wrong with a book.
00:11:43.019 --> 00:11:43.440
I don't know.
00:11:43.740 --> 00:11:44.610
I love books.
00:11:44.610 --> 00:11:46.919
I love listening to the books, reading books.
00:11:46.950 --> 00:11:52.019
When you know, whenever I have time, you know, I do a lot more audible now versus physical reading.
00:11:52.019 --> 00:11:53.009
It's just easier.
00:11:53.970 --> 00:12:03.220
For me because you know, when I'm working out, I can actually, most of the time now I can actually just work out and listen to a book, but sometimes I do need music and that's, you know, that's okay.
00:12:03.970 --> 00:12:04.840
It's not for everybody.
00:12:05.830 --> 00:12:09.849
But again Going back to knowing exactly who you are and where you want to go.
00:12:09.938 --> 00:12:12.639
I think a question for you this week is.
00:12:13.749 --> 00:12:18.249
How can you accept where you're at today and what is the next step you want to take?
00:12:18.339 --> 00:12:22.509
I think that's super important to ask yourself almost daily, certainly weekly.
00:12:23.379 --> 00:12:24.609
You know, it's hard to make progress.
00:12:24.609 --> 00:12:29.289
If you don't have some sort of goal and know where you want to go and what you want to do.
00:12:30.009 --> 00:12:31.568
Obviously, we all want to get better.
00:12:31.629 --> 00:12:31.899
Right.
00:12:31.899 --> 00:12:34.208
But that will just better mean you got to break that down.
00:12:35.639 --> 00:12:37.820
And I think, you know, it's, there's just.
00:12:39.259 --> 00:12:40.100
A lot to it.
00:12:40.179 --> 00:12:41.769
It's not always so clear.
00:12:42.938 --> 00:12:50.438
I think another big part of this, not only do you have to kind of acknowledge where you're at, know who you are, know where you want to go.
00:12:51.369 --> 00:12:55.269
Embracing, what is uncomfortable is a really big piece of this too.
00:12:56.078 --> 00:12:58.299
I think a lot of us in the early days probably.
00:12:59.438 --> 00:13:02.919
Probably a, for lack of a better word, have to embrace this.
00:13:03.369 --> 00:13:04.089
Unwillingly.
00:13:04.839 --> 00:13:10.149
I know for myself at inpatient rehab, it was a real eye-opener and you'd get really.
00:13:11.139 --> 00:13:16.269
Whatever level of discomfort or uncomfortableness, that's not a word.
00:13:16.318 --> 00:13:17.039
Yeah, things are good.
00:13:17.188 --> 00:13:20.549
Things get uncomfortable pretty quick after stroke and you really.
00:13:21.389 --> 00:13:24.720
I don't know, maybe you're lucky, but I didn't really have a choice.
00:13:24.769 --> 00:13:25.370
And.
00:13:26.509 --> 00:13:30.980
It was uncomfortable, honestly, being around nurses, being in a hospital, not being able to walk everything.
00:13:31.039 --> 00:13:31.639
Oh, it's stroke.
00:13:31.669 --> 00:13:31.969
Really?
00:13:31.969 --> 00:13:34.730
For me, my experience was uncomfortable.
00:13:35.899 --> 00:13:40.219
And that really looking back, taught me to embrace the discomfort.
00:13:40.279 --> 00:13:44.269
It also taught me how to kind of ball F more at myself and just like.
00:13:45.350 --> 00:13:51.708
The sheer ridiculousness of some of the things that you experienced as a stroke survivor are kind of funny.
00:13:51.740 --> 00:13:53.779
I mean, they're sad, but they're kind of funny.
00:13:54.649 --> 00:13:58.129
And again, the only way through, only way around it is through it.
00:13:58.159 --> 00:14:00.438
I mean, I don't know.
00:14:00.469 --> 00:14:06.349
I don't think there's really an option to do anything, but embrace the discomfort of being uncomfortable.
00:14:06.960 --> 00:14:10.440
But discomfort again is really necessary for the breakthroughs.
00:14:10.440 --> 00:14:13.200
I can go back and look at each year.
00:14:14.129 --> 00:14:19.110
And again, we're coming up on my five-year, uh, stroke anniversary probably later this week, actually.
00:14:19.110 --> 00:14:21.090
And, uh, or early next week.
00:14:22.019 --> 00:14:22.440
And.
00:14:23.789 --> 00:14:29.399
You know, like I said, discomfort is necessary for breakthroughs and looking back every point.
00:14:29.730 --> 00:14:33.539
That was uncomfortable when I pushed myself a little bit further.
00:14:34.529 --> 00:14:37.139
Those are where the breakthrough started to happen.
00:14:37.169 --> 00:14:38.549
It can be really.
00:14:39.480 --> 00:14:41.580
Challenging difficult.
00:14:41.639 --> 00:14:43.529
Frustrating, annoying.
00:14:44.370 --> 00:14:47.460
Knowing when to push yourself how to push yourself.
00:14:47.509 --> 00:14:53.000
Again, I just, I look back and I wish there were things that I knew sooner.
00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:56.090
I wish there were tools and access to things I had sooner.
00:14:56.750 --> 00:15:03.860
Uh, kind of the reason I do this podcast and a lot of survivors do these podcasts and really share information, whether it's social media.
00:15:04.370 --> 00:15:05.600
You're a content creator.
00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:06.500
You're on Tik TOK.
00:15:06.500 --> 00:15:07.159
You're on Instagram.
00:15:07.159 --> 00:15:08.720
You're on Facebook, wherever, whatever.
00:15:08.720 --> 00:15:13.039
I think a lot of us share these things because there are things that we wish we knew sooner.
00:15:14.779 --> 00:15:17.570
Because it is a process and sometimes.
00:15:18.350 --> 00:15:19.309
I think it is true.
00:15:19.340 --> 00:15:26.149
There's a combination, things appear, uh, seemingly magically or for seemingly no reason.
00:15:26.809 --> 00:15:33.289
When you're ready and you need to know them, but also I could look back and say, gosh, I wish I knew this sooner.
00:15:33.289 --> 00:15:36.559
Like, There are definitely things like the breath work that I always talk about.
00:15:37.639 --> 00:15:42.320
I certainly wish I was more aware of that and really understood.
00:15:43.519 --> 00:15:53.210
Just some of the benefits, you know, whether it was cognitive brain fog and dealing with focus after stroke and resting the body and sort of relaxing the mind.
00:15:53.899 --> 00:15:58.549
So many things with breath work I could have been doing while I was physically unable to walk.
00:15:58.580 --> 00:15:59.720
That would have been helpful.
00:15:59.809 --> 00:16:01.909
It's still great that I learned it later.
00:16:01.940 --> 00:16:02.779
Better than never.
00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:03.799
For sure.
00:16:04.009 --> 00:16:05.899
You'll never hear me go against that.
00:16:05.899 --> 00:16:09.259
But again, Just little things that I wish I knew sooner.
00:16:09.809 --> 00:16:13.860
You know, when I think about discomfort, the only story that comes up to me is really.
00:16:14.730 --> 00:16:15.750
I was right-handed.
00:16:15.750 --> 00:16:16.710
I am right-handed.
00:16:16.769 --> 00:16:18.330
I am right-side effected.
00:16:18.379 --> 00:16:22.820
When I was in inpatient rehab, I could tell you, I think we can all agree.
00:16:23.720 --> 00:16:30.769
When you're debilitated and disabled on the right side of your body, and you do not have full use of motor function with your hand.
00:16:31.879 --> 00:16:33.440
There are things that are difficult.
00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:35.360
That really, I'm not going to go into it.
00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:43.730
Cause I've talked about it a number of times, but you know, There are things you can't do that you wish you could, that are embarrassing.
00:16:43.879 --> 00:16:45.860
Unsettling, weird.
00:16:46.460 --> 00:16:48.559
Uncomfortable named the agitate.
00:16:49.850 --> 00:16:50.240
Yeah.
00:16:50.269 --> 00:16:52.220
I mean, it always comes back to.
00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:53.870
For lack of a better word.
00:16:54.169 --> 00:16:58.879
The restroom situation, uh, is probably you learn quickly.
00:16:59.360 --> 00:17:04.130
That you no longer have an option to be a certain way to be.
00:17:05.089 --> 00:17:06.920
Privacy goes out the window.
00:17:06.980 --> 00:17:10.130
Uh, you need help with things your family's not always there.
00:17:10.130 --> 00:17:13.609
Your Wayforest husband is not always there to help you at every moment.
00:17:14.269 --> 00:17:15.500
Certainly not in my case.
00:17:15.589 --> 00:17:17.210
A lot of times my wife was around.
00:17:18.259 --> 00:17:27.740
But many times she was not, uh, because she did not live in inpatient with a, my, you know, When you're in name, patient, uh, my kids were at home with my wife.
00:17:27.799 --> 00:17:29.539
She would come visit almost every day.
00:17:30.710 --> 00:17:35.339
But you are humbled and you just sort of learn to embrace the discomfort.
00:17:35.878 --> 00:17:36.990
It's a part of life.
00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:39.648
It's not the best part, but it's.
00:17:40.579 --> 00:17:42.289
You learn quick, you learn.
00:17:43.128 --> 00:17:43.609
All right.
00:17:44.059 --> 00:17:49.339
Now I've got to get to work because I do not want this to be the case for a long period of time.
00:17:49.339 --> 00:17:50.569
I want this to be.
00:17:51.709 --> 00:17:59.059
I want it to never happen, but now that it's happened and now that I have no choice the sooner I can learn to address these things and fix things the better.
00:18:00.528 --> 00:18:01.099
So, yeah.
00:18:01.128 --> 00:18:02.500
Uh, it's a lot of things.
00:18:02.500 --> 00:18:06.699
Again, this book by Tim Grover, relentless is a really good read, highly recommended.
00:18:06.759 --> 00:18:08.319
A lot of it applies to sports.
00:18:08.319 --> 00:18:09.759
Obviously, Tim is an athletic.
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:11.529
Uh, coach trainer.
00:18:11.979 --> 00:18:15.398
Not really trainer, but he works with high performing athletes.
00:18:15.429 --> 00:18:16.000
And I think.
00:18:16.779 --> 00:18:17.439
Stroke recovery.
00:18:17.469 --> 00:18:20.559
I've talked about this a lot is really the way I attack it.
00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:26.170
The way I would recommend to somebody is to look at athletes who want to be high performers.
00:18:27.339 --> 00:18:30.430
Because it's the only way to really.
00:18:31.779 --> 00:18:38.410
Make the biggest strides in improving is to take sort of big, safe chances.
00:18:38.920 --> 00:18:42.609
But you have to push yourself because nobody else is going to push it again.
00:18:42.609 --> 00:18:43.599
There's no magic pill.
00:18:44.289 --> 00:18:50.230
I wished there was there's a lot of tools and technology available to us now that wasn't even available five years ago.
00:18:50.980 --> 00:18:53.650
And it's all very helpful, but you got to put in the work.
00:18:54.339 --> 00:18:57.160
And the more work you put in the better, the results.
00:18:57.369 --> 00:19:03.670
Although I will preface that with saying you cannot do it all at one time, the more you're able to do.
00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:09.940
Slow and steady sort of does kind of win this race for a lack of a better analogy, but.
00:19:11.380 --> 00:19:12.579
Believe me, I learned the hard way.
00:19:12.579 --> 00:19:13.930
You cannot do everything at once.
00:19:15.130 --> 00:19:15.460
Yeah.
00:19:16.450 --> 00:19:25.390
So again, Uh, just to wrap up this episode because we're already at the 20 minute mark, uh, you know, check out that book, check out limitless by Jim quick two great books.
00:19:25.390 --> 00:19:26.619
I highly recommend.
00:19:27.930 --> 00:19:34.109
Recovery is all about consistency, embracing the challenges, challenging yourself, challenging your mindset, challenging your mind.
00:19:34.799 --> 00:19:36.509
Battling your own brain.
00:19:36.539 --> 00:19:38.039
A lot of times in recovery.
00:19:38.089 --> 00:19:41.450
It's how do you overcome the frustrations, those moments where you're.
00:19:42.170 --> 00:19:42.799
Sick of it.
00:19:42.900 --> 00:19:50.880
You know, I can only keep saying the more you put in the more you challenge yourself, the more times you get up, the more times you fight back.
00:19:51.869 --> 00:19:53.220
The better the outcome.
00:19:53.269 --> 00:19:56.089
So when hopefully you go check out these books.
00:19:56.299 --> 00:19:57.950
You know, I definitely recommend you.
00:19:57.980 --> 00:19:59.269
You think about these things.
00:19:59.839 --> 00:20:01.700
Reflect on applying these principles.
00:20:01.700 --> 00:20:03.859
How can shift your mindset in recovery?
00:20:03.859 --> 00:20:06.619
If you're somebody out there still trying to work, still trying to grind.
00:20:07.369 --> 00:20:08.390
You know, get better.
00:20:09.079 --> 00:20:15.650
I think what it really comes down to too, in a lot of things, just to kind of tie it all back together for both books.
00:20:15.650 --> 00:20:17.900
It's like, it is about mindset.
00:20:17.960 --> 00:20:18.799
It is about.
00:20:19.819 --> 00:20:21.500
Having an being unwilling.
00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:23.000
To accept.
00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:23.599
Good enough.
00:20:23.630 --> 00:20:29.450
Now there are points where you can accept good enough for a certain thing, but I think you might want to come back and revisit that.
00:20:30.140 --> 00:20:33.589
Because good enough to simply isn't good enough at the end of the day.
00:20:34.309 --> 00:20:37.609
Why not try to achieve everything, you know?
00:20:38.029 --> 00:20:41.269
And get to the level that you really want to get to and then push yourself.
00:20:41.569 --> 00:20:41.930
Further.
00:20:41.930 --> 00:20:43.730
I know this sounds a lot like David Goggins.
00:20:44.299 --> 00:20:47.119
And a lot of the big people out there, but they're not wrong.
00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:53.630
You have more to give to your recovery, to your, to yourself, to your family, to your loved ones.
00:20:53.630 --> 00:20:56.000
I mean, think about all the people that support you along the way.
00:20:56.869 --> 00:21:00.799
Don't you owe it to your, to yourself first and foremost, but you also owed to them.
00:21:01.160 --> 00:21:04.490
Because they've been helping and they supported and whatever.
00:21:05.180 --> 00:21:06.259
Sometimes they go away.
00:21:06.259 --> 00:21:07.190
Sometimes they don't.
00:21:07.250 --> 00:21:07.579
Right.
00:21:07.579 --> 00:21:13.579
But like, They put in time and effort and you should work for yourself, but also.
00:21:14.599 --> 00:21:23.000
It's a way of giving back to show everybody that it's, it is been more wild investing their time, their money, their energy, whatever they've given, whatever they've done for you.
00:21:23.839 --> 00:21:24.829
I think it's important.
00:21:24.829 --> 00:21:27.180
And you know, I encourage everybody to share your story.
00:21:27.869 --> 00:21:29.849
Again, If you're interested.
00:21:29.970 --> 00:21:33.660
Uh, check out the center, you know, go over to survivor science.com.
00:21:33.660 --> 00:21:35.069
There's joined the center button.
00:21:35.069 --> 00:21:37.200
It'll bring you to a page, kind of run you through.
00:21:37.769 --> 00:21:39.720
What everything looks like inside the center.
00:21:39.750 --> 00:21:43.230
I'm running a black Friday special still, uh, through Christmas day.
00:21:43.230 --> 00:21:46.970
If you do like what you see at the when you click the button at the top of the website.
00:21:47.000 --> 00:21:47.059
So.
00:21:47.210 --> 00:21:48.019
Join the center.
00:21:48.529 --> 00:21:56.210
If you like what you see, if you want to join a community online of stroke survivors that are able to ask questions, you have questions every day, like every day.
00:21:56.599 --> 00:21:59.210
It doesn't matter what type of question, doesn't matter, what hour you're on there.
00:21:59.210 --> 00:21:59.779
It's all.
00:21:59.779 --> 00:22:03.960
It's if you're familiar with the old AOL chat rooms and things like that, it's a space.
00:22:04.470 --> 00:22:09.150
And a safe space and it is a paid space because, you know, I just run it differently.
00:22:10.049 --> 00:22:13.920
I found a lot of Facebook groups to be kind of just lackluster.
00:22:14.670 --> 00:22:18.210
Uh, it's great meeting other people on social media throughout.
00:22:18.569 --> 00:22:21.210
You know, We had a great content meetup last week.
00:22:21.210 --> 00:22:23.710
I mean, part of this community, it is a paid community.
00:22:23.710 --> 00:22:25.539
You can ask questions at any point.
00:22:25.539 --> 00:22:29.710
Any time I'll get back to another survivor might hop in and give their 2 cents.
00:22:30.220 --> 00:22:34.869
It's really to build a supportive online community where we can ask questions, communicate.
00:22:35.470 --> 00:22:37.480
But it doesn't always have to be on zoom.
00:22:38.289 --> 00:22:41.710
Uh, we do have a couple of zoom meetups, at least one weekly call.
00:22:42.009 --> 00:22:44.650
Some office hours, the monthly meetup for everybody.
00:22:45.099 --> 00:22:48.549
I'm trying to build some workshops again, we just had to create our workshop last Friday.
00:22:48.549 --> 00:22:51.220
That was really great wound up talking about podcasting.
00:22:51.759 --> 00:22:53.589
Everybody's seen broadly interested in podcasting.
00:22:53.589 --> 00:22:56.769
So we went there and I think we're going to do more about that in the future.
00:22:56.769 --> 00:22:58.420
Kind of break that down for everybody.
00:22:59.019 --> 00:23:01.210
And these workshops and cohorts and things like that.
00:23:01.269 --> 00:23:02.559
They're worthwhile there.
00:23:02.559 --> 00:23:03.940
They're learning new skills.
00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:05.799
You know, for myself, I love learning.
00:23:05.799 --> 00:23:06.609
I love teaching.
00:23:07.180 --> 00:23:10.930
I love helping other people learn things that you don't for me.
00:23:11.500 --> 00:23:17.500
Sometimes I forget, like these things that I've learned over the, my 42 years on the earth, like I forget not everybody knows these things.
00:23:17.529 --> 00:23:17.920
Like it's.
00:23:18.460 --> 00:23:20.349
It's a pretty common thing amongst creators.
00:23:20.380 --> 00:23:24.009
It's like, oh, I don't share X, Y, and Z because I think everybody knows it.
00:23:24.009 --> 00:23:24.759
And all of a sudden.
00:23:25.900 --> 00:23:29.529
Everybody shows up and like nobody knows anything and they want to learn.
00:23:29.559 --> 00:23:33.519
So like, I think we all have a lot to share a lot to learn from each other.
00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:35.200
So I encourage you to check out the center.
00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:36.640
I know this is a little long-winded.
00:23:37.240 --> 00:23:41.380
Plug for the center and survivor science, but it is something I'm trying to build and grow.
00:23:41.380 --> 00:23:44.289
I think our community of stroke survivors really needs a space.
00:23:45.549 --> 00:23:51.759
That has a little bit away from social media where it's safe and secure, and it's not filled with spam and robots and.
00:23:51.849 --> 00:23:54.819
And garbage post and medical cure this and medical.
00:23:54.940 --> 00:23:58.059
If this is real people in a real online community.
00:23:58.359 --> 00:24:02.200
Sharing real stories, real information, wanting connection.
00:24:02.799 --> 00:24:11.679
You know, again, we have zooms are lots of strokes of our communities and non-profits out there all connecting and doing meetups on zoom and things like that.
00:24:12.369 --> 00:24:14.679
Again, this has that component, but it also has.
00:24:15.759 --> 00:24:18.299
You know, figure building a course, some thinking about building.
00:24:18.779 --> 00:24:21.480
I want to build things that make sense for Shokes fibers.
00:24:21.480 --> 00:24:23.039
Like what are the things that you want to learn?
00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:31.799
What are the things that beyond this podcast that we can go more in depth than, and you know, all the members of the community, they get access for free to the workshops.
00:24:31.888 --> 00:24:34.710
We can do workshops where we invite people externally.
00:24:35.398 --> 00:24:36.809
And charge a little bit of fee.
00:24:37.559 --> 00:24:39.419
Again it's not a huge.
00:24:39.989 --> 00:24:43.769
Some money, but it is some money to join uh, getting abused, the black.
00:24:44.039 --> 00:24:45.509
Uh, the co coupon code.
00:24:45.930 --> 00:24:47.609
BF 50 at checkout.
00:24:47.759 --> 00:24:50.398
It's a 50% off your first three months.
00:24:50.559 --> 00:24:51.788
Of the center.
00:24:52.209 --> 00:24:58.269
By survivor science, or you can actually sign up for the annual membership, become a yearly member at 30% off, which is a great deal.
00:24:58.959 --> 00:24:59.589
First year.
00:24:59.949 --> 00:25:00.969
250 bucks.
00:25:00.999 --> 00:25:04.628
I mean, that's like three copays at the doctor, so I think it's worthwhile.
00:25:04.628 --> 00:25:06.278
I hope you'll join us, check it out.
00:25:06.278 --> 00:25:10.388
And, uh, Yeah, I guess we'll leave it there for this episode.
00:25:10.388 --> 00:25:10.659
Again.
00:25:10.659 --> 00:25:11.528
Check out the books.
00:25:11.528 --> 00:25:11.589
Run.
00:25:11.859 --> 00:25:15.638
This by Tim Grover and Jim quicks limitless, I think both are great reads.
00:25:15.638 --> 00:25:19.689
And, uh, we, uh, we'll be back on Wednesday with a full episode and then we'll see you again on Friday.
00:25:19.749 --> 00:25:20.528
Erupt the week.
00:25:20.949 --> 00:25:22.209
Hope you enjoyed this episode.
Survivor Science Newsletter: Helping You Rebuild Your Brain, Inspiring Resilience, and Navigate Your Second Chance! 💖
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