66. Stroke Survivor and Advocate – Jason "LionHeart" Lopes' Journey of Resilience

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Okay. Good. Okay. So so, yeah, it's, it's definitely been an inch sore. You know, I'm, like, Yeah. I'm not gonna do a formal introduction here, so we could just kinda start talking. But, again, you're 45. I turned 42 in about a week and it was just Congratulations. Kind of yeah. Yeah.

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Rough, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Right? I can't tell if it's because I don't know if you know, but I have MS on top of the stroke. So Yes. I have a similar story to yours where it's, like, a couple of different things. That's actually I went back and rewatched one of your videos today. I was like, shit, I didn't realize you had I mean, I'll let you tell the story, obviously. But you had one then had the other. So yeah. I mean, I guess what's happened to that before, you know, I mean, again, this is just kind of free form. Of course.

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Well, I would say the first one, I always tell people I was very egotistical and a really big, very athletic family, but I was, doing steroids. I had a, what is it? They have the the PFO, the hole in the heart. Okay. And it caused blood clot. And I ended up having, the cerebral stroke, which actually messed up, 75% of my right side.

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Also lost some of my eyesight and it caused seizures.

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Even now, my fingers don't work. It's because after 10 years, this does not work. I can't steal part of my face.

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I'm already discharged. It's horrible. And it's like, and then, I have, neuropathy in the right foot. So, I've had issues that my right it's like the right side has just been, but that was the main part. The cerebral stroke is what, knocked me down.

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And it's, what they call cerebral infarction.

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Okay. And that was, training training for a fight. Those are some of my things. I've been training martial arts, and I never really got serious into wanting to fight till I was 34.

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And then I was doing weight cuts and all that, and that was just too big. And then I dropped too much weight and tried to maintain strength and steroids were just and destroyed it. So, it's and, sorry, real quick to interject there with the sniffer. I don't want to go too off track because I relate to a lot of these things.

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So I think that's really important before you go on is that like, you know, we always talk about this and you always hear it, like, stroke can happen to anybody, anywhere, anytime. Yes. And I think the reason I feel kind of, you know, we're similar in age, both definitely the typical well, whatever typical means when you're you're classified as a younger stroke survivor, I'm gonna say. It's it's more rare. I think the average age is still 65, but it does seem to be I think so. I think we're going to research. Yeah. Yeah. The last couple of years I noticed, maybe because of a lot of things, but, you know, I'm seeing more and more younger survivors. I don't know if that's due to COVID, part of COVID, has anything to do with COVID, or just, like, social media is actually working in the way we kind of always hoped where you're starting to find people that are maybe more similar in some of your states? That's what it is. It seems to be there wasn't enough people talking about it. Right. I actually, the cerebral stroke that I had, there was a kid that was in my rehabilitation.

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He had a lacrosse scholarship. He was a lot younger than me. He was 18, but now he's a, cardioplegic. He had the exact same type of stroke and it and it destroyed his whole, and the doctor kept saying, you're lucky to be alive. And he's like, because this guy had and he was younger than you. And it's like, he's like, just take it one step at a time. Don't realize how lucky I'm like, when I hear people say that, but I'm like Yeah. It takes it's a minute to sink in. Yeah. Sorry. I cut you off there. So so unfortunately, that's not the only stroke that you had back in 2015. So almost coming up on 10 years on the first stroke.

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So Yeah. It's coming up. And then, I ended up, in 2017, almost a little bit, I think, maybe before that, I had a, an ischemic. And then I had a TIA and it's horrible because there was a guy in the gym that I was training at that caused that. Supposedly, we're alright. And he ends up grabbing me, showing the class a self defense mode. Right. And I told him to let go. And he just kept saying, you gotta get out of it. You gotta get out of it. And he keeps bringing me back farther, and I kept telling him to let go. And I guess, apparently, it blocked something and caused a clot. And I ended up having a seizure in a class.

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And then I had another one and it set me back months and I'm like, wow. And he thought it was a game until I was having a seizure. Then he was like, oh my God. I it's too late by then. Yeah. That's, geez, I didn't even think of that. I think that's, you're training to get better. You're working on things and like, that's the reward is that unfortunate situation.

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Yeah. Yeah. It's, In my situation, I moved. I'm very strong.

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I've done a Kapolei and yoga for a long time. So Right. When you take one side of me, I was still able to use the other side, and it looks like I'm not going through a lot because I was trying to be ego and showing no weakness. And people were like, oh, and then when you finally see what happens, then you're like, oh my God. And I'm like I think that's, that's part of being a younger survivor. Right? There's a little bit of ego because I kind of kind of a similar story. I remember when I had my first stroke, well, my only stroke in 2019. And again, it was right before the holidays, but I remember before they transferred me over to my first inpatient rehab facility Yeah. The doctor's like he's like, oh, you're gonna be messed up for a long time. I was like, no, I'll be better in 2 or 3 days. I think it's just, like, ridiculous. It's a great attitude to have, but it's obviously very unrealistic. It's, you know, I was better after 2 or 3 years, and I would I've come a long way as have you, I'm sure. And it's humbling to say the least, but, yeah, it's not a quick turnaround. It's, That's what I realized. I was super, like, going to the rehab. I didn't wanna be in there, although I couldn't talk a lot and I couldn't, but I kept trying to get up and outwork other people when they're trying to give me this exercise on it. But I'm like, I ended up hurting myself in the long run. And I'm like, it's taken me 10 years to do. You see me move around on Instagram. I tell people all the time, it's taken me trial and error to be like this. I'd be like, a lot of seizures, a lot of throwing up and blackouts and it's it's a rough voyage, and I've seen a lot of people going through worse.

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Yeah. And it's, I think that's kind of what we share in common. So again, I was freaking huge at the time of my stroke. I had gotten into my thirties where we my wife and I started we had 2 more boys. We had a daughter already, but then we had 2 more boys. And life got kind of overwhelming for me. I I know you said you kinda work in and around technology, and I worked in kind of the web agency space. So I was, like, the very typical you know, in my twenties, I played sports. But then when we kinda settled down, bought our first house, I really focused on work, overly committed to my work because I as we all know, when you don't work for yourself and you work for somebody else, you're trying to raise up and rise through, and it can cost you a lot of things.

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Everything. Yeah. It's Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I didn't have the proper co coping mechanisms that I've learned since my stroke, like breath work, which, again, I always thought was kind of BS.

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I'm from New York, New Jersey. It's just the very yeah. I'm I'm east coast through and through. Like, it sounds like things that it always sounds like things that didn't work. And then, like, you realize, oh, wait, this actually does work and it's good for you.

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And there's ways that you can do a lot of things to optimize. And I think a lot of the commonalities I see between you and myself are like just and it probably comes probably from martial arts and a little bit of sports background. There's sort of a, you know, for me, just a I don't wanna make assumptions based on what I'm seeing just on online. That's not fair, but there is a discipline sort of you Super.

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Yeah. Yeah. Because I think you've said ego a couple of times, but it's really about it. Ego helps a little bit, but I hope it's also gonna hurt, but it's also the discipline there. To push you, you have to have that ego to get up and yell at yourself in the mirror. I'm one of those. I'll get up in the middle like you. I'm like a David Goggins. I don't know if you're familiar with that. I'm one of those. Been like that.

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And it's like, that's, what's helped me get to where I'm at. But in martial arts repetition every day, I tell people, you'll see me doing the same stuff over and over again, because I'm like, eventually my body will remember. I'm like, you gotta keep getting up and remembering. And I'm like, my equilibrium is still horrible. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm still having issues and I'm like, I'm not ready, but I'm still in the game. I was so I had a speech. Somebody gave me a speech yesterday. He's like, Kobe Bryant stayed in the game until the end. He's like, you're slacking, and you need to get back in the game. And I'm like, he's like, you're holding the ball. What did he tell me? You're holding the ball and you're just dribbling, and you throw it back to somebody else when it's your turn.

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And that's a good way to look at that. Yeah. That's funny. I I just heard a kobeepoop today. That was pretty similar. I can't remember the quote because, of course, stroke brain as that will come up throughout the episode.

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Still like mine. Yeah. Still. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A little discouraging to hear it's still a thing 10 years out, but it's, I think it's partly because, you know, I have the mechanisms, and I'm sure you do too now because you said you do yoga. And, obviously, martial arts is a very disciplined thing for those that don't know.

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Yeah. It's just, like you said, it's kinda boring. It's repetitive, but it's also necessary. And that's kinda one of the big things in stroke. It's like Yeah. Yeah. I remember that you were touching on it earlier. It's like when I was in rehab again, I was probably there wasn't really anybody my age, in my particular floor, in my rehab facility. I went to a Brooks here in Jacksonville, Florida. I know you're in Orlando.

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I don't know. I know there's a Brooks in Orlando, I think.

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Right? But The one I was at the rehabilitation is called it's on Lucer it's called Lucerne Rehabilitation. It's right on the actual street, loose on the Gore. It's yeah. So Okay. But either way, it yeah. Like you, I wanted to kind of I knew I had sort of messed up badly enough, and I wanted to get to work. But I actually you hit it. You hit the nail on the head. It's like, I think there's 2 things. Like, you hear a lot of this BS from doctors and therapists. Oh, I hate it. And it's it's it's well intentioned, and they're not wrong, but they're also not right. Because I think Yeah. Like, if you, I don't know, could you walk from the beginning or were you wheelchair bound? I was, what do you call with the, the brace? I had a a brace on my right my right arm. I had a Yeah. I had to walk one side brace.

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I was never in the wheelchair. Oh, okay. And I went straight to a cane. Okay. But I was, not supposed to get up for the 1st 5 months. And I walked stair with assistance. Right. I walked, had somebody walking me upstairs.

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And I'm like, I tried to jump rope, ended up in the hospital, put it on the 30 second of me doing the jump rope. I didn't put the rest of it when I fell out and had a seizure and I'm like, oh, just hard headed.

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Yeah. So sorry. I don't mean to laugh at the seizure because I also have had them over the years. So I try not to, but Yeah. Yeah.

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That's the thing. I I I'm one of those guys kinda like you and, you know, whether people love Goggins or hate Goggins, I love Goggins because I believe in trying to push, you know, but I've learned, like, to to sort of, like, it's a really hard thing for me, and I'm sure you struggle with this too.

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It's like, alright. I wanna push. I wanna test. I wanna get to the next sort of level, but also I know based on history, if I go too hard, that's, that's always that fine line that I'm kind of pushing. And frankly, I'm probably straddling it most of the time. Well, that's why you'll see me sometimes I'll put videos up on Instagram. I always tell them, don't do like I do, but it worked for me, but I pushed my bounds out, but I'm like, I've ended up in the hospital lot pushing myself. I recently just had a, it was a heart arrhythmia. I had a, a plaque a plaque blockage, but stress caused that. And I ended up, the the doctor told me I could have died.

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It's been a month. It's 2 months now. Right. Yeah. And I could have died.

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I didn't even know that I I was, like, I couldn't breathe for, like, a a week. Actually, I'm yeah. So I'm I'm I was curious about this. Yeah. It's it's hard headed been hard headed. Yeah. The plaque buildup, is that is that, because again, you're into martial arts fitness, MMA, all that kind of stuff, very similar. I'm not doing MMA yet again. And, actually, I haven't done that since the early 2000 tens, kind of stopped doing I stopped doing that at 30 when I moved with my wife to from Florida to Virginia. We moved to Virginia for a while for about 7 or 8 years, and, there was there was no place to train MMA in Williamsburg. Places they don't have. Yeah.

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Yeah. Yeah. They might have it way down in, down by the day. There's a lot of army military down there, but it's kind of Yeah. All the way to the coast, which is about an hour and a half from William Shirk. Really far. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely far too far for MMA, training on the weekdays. Yeah. I'm sorry. I was gonna ask the plaque buildup. Was that so if you're willing to share, is that something you were aware of or something you could've prevented? Or is it just sort of diet over time or just That's what it was. The doctors said it because I have a I don't know if you're on a a statin. I have a ratorostatin for cholesterol, and and I had stopped taking a lot of it, and I was eating. I'm still eating a lot. I like to eat. I used to be 200 plus.

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Now, I'm like 161. Okay. I still have to food, but I eat food. And it was just an accumulation of and it was a small buildup. But it was the fact that I was pushing my body too much and the oxygen was I wasn't able to breathe. And that's the thing in the body just basically shut off. Right. Had another seizure and stuff like that. And the doctor told me, he's like, you pushed your body to break your, really low on liquid.

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You're just doing a lot of dumb stuff, and it's basically the body just shut off. Yeah. That's, you just said something that I always think about because I run a lot now.

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And for everybody out there who hasn't heard this story before, it's, I hated running my whole life. I loved, I told you I did taekwondo as a kid.

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I got into basketball. I got into football. Like, once I got super into basketball, I kinda had to shut things off. But I I would run on the court, obviously. But even on the football field, I was like, listen, there are 2 options. I'm the biggest guy on this team, and I should run laps or I could play in the game you pick.

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Yeah. So I would talk my way out of running, like, all those extra laps, all the receivers, all the quarterbacks, and all the pretty boys on, you know, because I played offensive line, obviously, and defensive line there was you.

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Yeah. And, so yeah. Best call is fine because that was, like, a 100, you know, basketball courts in under 4 feet. So you can go up and down that pretty good for a long time, and I wasn't always a big boy, sort of. I was pretty fit until really until later in high school, and then I lost all that weight in college because I went to Miami and I learned very quickly that if you get in shape as a gringo in Miami, you can have a good time. Yeah. You can have a good yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. You can have a good time if you get in shape. So, so I got in shape and then, yeah, found a way, found out, you know, very happy. And then we I just like I said, I I got way off track with food and alcohol because I kinda as you might suspect when one goes to Miami for college, and again, I went way not not a 100 years ago, but I went in the early 2000 before bloated intuition, and I definitely got a scholarship. That's how I went there. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Not for sports. Just I know I know we're not in person, but everybody always asks, like, oh, did you no. No. Nope. I got an academic scholarship. It's it's always the first question I get because it like you said, I mentioned I'm 6 foot 8 a lot because it's it's the number one thing people ask me.

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Yeah. That's how, I think they did, with Shaquille O'Neal, just by his height alone. They were, like, we need this guy, although he's good with his basketball, but they were already eyeing him in college. They were, like, oh, he's the one is at 7 feet. And I'm, like, they're already looking at you. I'm, like, oh, that's cool. Yeah. And I grew up in there too that Shaq was, you know, Shaq was kinda one of my idols and still really is. He's a he's a big time businessman. He's a big time It's awesome. I've seen him a couple of times in Atlanta. You see him sometime in the mall.

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Yeah. I love around. It's like, he's just a normal guy, but he's a big normal guy. He likes you. You're like, oh And he's he's fun too. He likes having a good time. He's just he's all about helping people and kinda doing what he can. And Super. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he exemplifies that to a tee because I actually so after college, I moved to New Jersey back to New Jersey for a couple of years, but then I decided to get the hell out of there because I hate snow and I hate shoveling snow and I hate dealing with cold weather. Yep. Which is weird because I'm always in a hoodie even in Florida. I'm the same. I'm from Rhode Island. So and I'm like Yeah. Exactly.

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So so yes. I actually lived, so Shaq lives on Star Island in Miami when he played for the heat in the mid 2000. And, I lived in a really crappy, like, shit awful apartment in South Beach, like, right across from Star Island where Shaq lived. Oh, wow. Critical. So I used to see him a lot on over on South Beach because South Beach, you know, beach. There's not a lot of 6 foot 8, No. He's guys like me and not a lot of 7 foot people like Shaq. And yeah. So yeah. He's so awkward awkward big. There's a place American combat club that was in our Orlando with, Nick Anderson. It's another one in Orlando. They used to train over there and I'm like, I would miss Shaq there, but Nick Anderson, I got a couple of pictures with him and I'm like, you guys shouldn't be this big. It's weird. Yeah.

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Nick Anderson. He was a, yeah, he was a good player. I mean, I was not a match. I was only a Magic fan because of Shaq, but then Shaq had Penny and Nick Anderson and like those 3, they were kind of like, I was definitely all mixed, but like, I, I could, I could relate to Jack. But, like Yeah.

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In real life, for me, I kinda was Jack amongst my friends, certainly. I do I don't have Makes sense. I have one friend in my life that is, that I met later in life in Virginia of all places. He was 7 foot, and I used to hate hanging out with him. Wow. It was the first time, that I ever had to look up. And I was like, holy shit.

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Is this what other people have to do when they talk to me? Because this is awful. I tell I tell my dad, my uncle, my, my cousin, they're all 68. I got 65, and I'm like, how do I I'm 5.11. How did that I used to hate on basketball for a while because I'm like, I'm not like that, but I'm like, I watch it, but I'm like, secretly, I'm like, never gonna grow that. I'm like, I'm not gonna grow anymore. Yeah. I actually so my wife is only 5 4. So, my daughter's tall, so she's got her genes. My youngest is the youngest, but I can already tell, sadly, he's exactly like me, and he's crap. I'm hoping he's only gonna be like 6.6 because, you know, dad still wants to be the biggest person in the house. Yep. That'd be cool. Yeah. Yeah. But my my other son, I could tell he's barely, maybe like, no offense. I know you're 5 11. Yeah. It's okay. It's okay. But my son, my son, I'm hoping he gets 6 foot, but I don't know if he's gonna make it to 6 foot. My son. And I feel terrible for him.

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It happens. My son is like that, but he, he likes rugby. He's big.

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He's big up there. My, my, my wife, they were the same, but like, it's big. He's just a big and he's like, I like rugby.

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The guy, so I'm like, he stays away from what I like. And I'm like, yeah, sometimes boys. Yeah. That's that's what kids do.

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They they you try to help them along, I think, as a parent. So that's interesting too, because I didn't realize you're a parent, a survivor too, because that's or did you say you married or No. Well, so she's my wife is she's, been deceased.

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My son's mother. She's been deceased for 4 years. She was, murdered 4 years ago. And so, like, if you ever see me growing a long hair and all this, I talk, I I've been going through like this bushman. I kind of let everything just fall off. And I morning is over. I have a life coach now, but he says the time for morning is over. And she's like, she's gone and you can't bring that back. So my son is in a weird place right now. So he's he lives with his grandparents in Rhode Island right now. And so, he's in a place where I have a daughter too. So, but she's grown. They're all, they're both 21 25. I'm an old dude and I have a stepdaughter. She's 20. So, yeah. So, I'm like, damn. No. That that's interesting because technically so I never really think about this, but my daughter's well, no.

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Because I adopted my daughter. So my wife had my daughter from a previous marriage when she was very young, like 20.

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And so my daughter and I are actually so my daughter, I adopted back in 2013, I think. Yeah. The year after my wife and I got married, we made it official with, my daughter, Allie.

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And she's 20 she's turning 22 next month. We have the same or next week. We have the same exact birthday, which is annoying. Yeah. Yep.

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It kinda sounds good. That's kinda weird. Weird and annoying. And you know what's even weirder and annoying is she has a boyfriend who is a year older than her, who also has our birthdays. So it's all 3 of them. And Yeah. That's not the end of the story. Her boyfriend is a twin who also has a brother, obviously, with the same birthday. So Oh my gosh. Yeah. That's gonna be rough. Yeah. I mean, it there are worse things that could happen in life, but it's, always a weird one for me. My daughter, luckily, she got married high school, like, not even high school, like, like little kids. They were little, and they've been like the sweetheart type of and I'm like, you met like my son's mother. We met like that when we were little. I said, so they're, she's married my stepdaughter, not so much. She doesn't really, she's kind of anti life. She's kind of living her best life, which I hate her saying that. I said, but I love her to death, but she's that's like, she has a father and he's in and out of her life. So, I can't really, and I'm like, try to be there, but it's like, Yeah. Stress. Yeah.

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Hey, that's, so yeah. So kinda going back to all the stroke things you said, the sort of plaque buildup and and that was separate, I guess, from the so the second stroke happened because of training and sort of unfortunate circumstances of somebody Causing that was yeah. The neurology it was actually one of the doctors. I still have the same doctor Harconi. He says the same. He's like that one, just a blood clot that we may have missed. You know, you had to do the MRIs and the and so that might have been something that you missed.

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But when he closed, basically, it's like they call it a rear naked choke. And it's it blocks off the artery and all that stuff like that. And they said he might have just blocked off something. And when he was holding you back, it pinched the right at the right time. And he says that just might have been a coincidence, something like that. But he's like, you never know.

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He's if he didn't do that, it might've happened some other time. And I'm like, wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's kind of the I wouldn't say fun. Fun fun is a word. Fun is probably not the word we should use there, but it's like Yeah. You can do all these things. You can, like, you know, you like you said, you kind of, I mean, just excited to talk and meet you anyways, but it's it's it's interesting to learn from other survivors, and it doesn't matter if they're 35, 45. You know, I I know you probably know them too. Like, there's some 75 year olds that get after it almost. Yeah. You know, because I I I would say this because, like and it's probably not great to say, but if I was 75, I might think very differently than if I had my stroke at 37, and you had your first stroke at 35. That's rough. Yeah. Yeah. I've met some older I've talked to a lot of stroke survivors and some of them just, they give up. And I think there's a guy, Greg, he's from ABM superhero. He's one of those. He, he was talking about it because of athletic background. Right. That helps. He's like that, that most athletes have that background. I have a family full of athletes, so I'm like, pushing, but most people don't have that. I'm like, I'm wondering if that's where that comes from. And I'm like, I said, I keep pushing. He's like, you have to have some type of drive and insanity.

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Yeah, kind of. I mean, yeah. Kind of. Yeah. And it's always weird to say, and I feel, I think that's why my mom was so excited to talk to you because I know, like, I feel these these certain things, and it's like, am I just crazy? I'd know I'd know I'm probably not the typical stroke survivor. Probably like yourself. You're not we're we're both not 65. We're both not the average age. We're both parents. So there is a bit of getting after it. And it's like, I feel like I've been apologizing and maybe that's something I need to stop doing because it's like, if you really want the answer, like, I mean, like, I I share my running a lot and it's weird because I hated running my whole life. Right? And to be I just I kinda got I I sort of went through this journey that I think a lot of us do, like, so my stroke kind of timed up, had the stroke, you know, get into inpatient January 2020. Right? Go home from inpatient the first time, still in the wheelchair, still have all the braces on the arms and the legs, even though I couldn't even walk yet at that point. Watched the Super Bowl, I learned at at my facility, you know, things I didn't know, like, you could have a second stroke, especially if you don't you know, you had one. But I I think yours was obviously very different than other people's typically. Typically, it's because people don't change or they don't fix their diet or they don't know adjustments. I mean, how many people have you heard? I've heard it too.

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Like, I'll hear us. I know somebody who works for my accounting firm. Yeah. Well that my accountant and, her husband had a stroke and he still smokes. Like, I mean, I did. I was stupid. Right. I went to Miami. I started smoking cigarettes because it was kind of cool things still in the early 2000 before it really changed forever. And you get into a little partying and smoking and, you know, you think it's a big deal. And the next thing you know, you it's I had a grandma that smokes since she was 94 and on oxygen. So I just thought I'd be as invincible as her. And you find out very quickly in life that you are not exactly necessarily like the same people in your bloodline.

00:27:48.910 --> 00:28:15.775
That's the weird thing when they say it. It's like, it just depends on who you are. It doesn't matter. It's just like, and I'm like, I never looked at it like that. Alpha values would think I was invincible. And then this did happen. And then I'm like, and I still tried to maintain this strength in front of people. And I would wait. Sometimes I will go and they would all leave and I would run to the bathroom, throw up everywhere because I'm like, oh, I've laid out here. You see me kind of laying down just so I wouldn't, my eyes wouldn't roll in my head. And it's like the ego.

00:28:16.234 --> 00:28:31.000
I'm like, I'm glad I'm where I'm at. I'm not happy I could be farther, but I'm like, I've got I'm a lot better. But you know what's weird about the survivors? I don't see a lot of them trying to some of them are still exercising, but some of them are still not.

00:28:31.294 --> 00:28:35.134
We're crazy. That's crazy is a good word. Super Greg. Greg is good.

00:28:35.134 --> 00:28:53.210
ABM superhero. He Greg is he's pushing it. He's traveling around and moving, but a lot don't. Yeah. A lot don't. I mean, I I think I'm starting to see more as I as I kinda, like, get, you know, I think something definitely changed in the last year because like you, I've been a survivor for a long time. I've been on social media.

00:28:53.750 --> 00:29:18.000
Unfortunately, for me, I made this stupid decision because I used to be in the developer world. And so everything I kinda I did what a lot of people might do. Like, I had my stroke, woke up for the Super Bowl, wound up going back to the hospital. If I was having a second stroke, they'd run the whole stroke procedure. Turns out they don't, but they gotta do a bunch of tests and takes about 3 weeks. Yeah. Yeah. 3 weeks and MRIs this and spinal tap this.

00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:50.559
They finally realized they give me 3 options. They're like, you could have a brain tumor, it could be brain cancer, or you might have MS. Well, thankfully for me, it wound up being MS. And so that actually paralyzed the entire left side of my body, which was super fun to be paralyzed completely on the right side and On the right hand side. Pretty temple yeah. Yeah. So I was basically a £530 blob of a fat baby water's blob. Like, I couldn't move. My wife is deaf. I couldn't sign to my wife. Like Oh, wow. Really? I don't know. I couldn't talk.

00:29:51.339 --> 00:30:09.069
You know, the stroke didn't the stroke, it definitely affected my speech, but the MS really kinda knocked it out completely. And I You made it worse. Yeah. And it was It's funny because you were talking about eating and how you used to be a little bit bigger, but, obviously, you weren't £540 big or £30 big.

00:30:09.450 --> 00:30:55.404
You can imagine. So the the my speech gets messed up from the MS, and I remember in the hospital, like, you can only have liquids through a straw. Let me tell you how fast I fixed that problem. Look. Because they were making me do swallow tests. They're like, it's dangerous. I'm like, no, I got it. That's how I would, like, swallow an apple whole to to fix Oh, wow. Just to prove to them that I I didn't have an issue. So that's kinda why I worked on my speech so quickly. I had an issue. They were trying to it wasn't this phase, but I I couldn't I was having issues swallowing. I couldn't keep anything down, and they were trying to figure out on this certain symptoms will come back. And I'm like, even now, like, every once in a while, you'll see me kinda do this because it's just like almost like an nervous tick.

00:30:55.944 --> 00:32:25.095
And I'm like, but I at first, I I I had gotten really, really small because I couldn't eat certain things were making me sick. There was a lot of food, different foods in my brain. The neurologist told me I had to rewire and I would go try to eat all the same, like ice cream and all this. And my bra, I just throw it up. And I'm like, think what is happening? And he's like, your brain is rewiring certain things you may not like anymore. And that was one of the worst. I think that 1st year was one of the worst times in the in the world that I've seen. Yeah. That's what I was gonna say earlier too is, Jed, I I don't think anybody's lucky to have a stroke, but for me, I feel kinda lucky and fortunate with the timing of my stuff with the so the stroke then get you know, I always say it's getting, like, hit, like, getting hit with a baseball bat cause I definitely wasn't expecting it. And then the MS, 2 months later after the stroke, that was, like, getting hit with a baseball bat again. And then as I was in rehab, kinda still working on the right side, trying to unfuck the left side from the MS as as exacerbation. And then COVID happened. And COVID for me, it definitely made me nervous for a lot of reasons initially, because I had no idea what was going on. I was kinda watching TV when I had time off of therapies in in inpatient. But I had no idea what was going on in the real world because I was an inpatient. It's basically, like, you know, I couldn't walk. I was in a wheelchair. I'd you know, it was like I could go outside and see what was happening. I kinda not really understood.

00:32:26.210 --> 00:32:57.720
And also, you know, it was definitely I, you know, I I've learned a lot over the years, but I think initially it was, like, alarming because I was like, oh, wait, I'm now immunocompromised. I don't know. Oh, yeah. You know, I was dealing with all the the shit I had just gone through. And then you throw in COVID. And honestly, like, I'm not a big lockdown fan, but it no. It's kinda great for me because I didn't mind Because you are. I wasn't probably going anywhere anyways, you know, except for the, like, outpatient therapy, which thankfully stayed open here in Florida for me, at least initially.

00:32:58.179 --> 00:33:05.319
And, although we had to wear a mask, it was fine, but, like, I'd rather do it in a mask than not do it at all. At all. Yeah.

00:33:05.460 --> 00:33:42.694
But I wasn't really missing out on life because everybody was on lockdown. So that 1st year I was still I was insane. Like, I tried to go back to work. Like I tried, but it was it it didn't work for me. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I actually so so I went back to work April 1st, like, literally April fools day of 2020. Oh, wow. Wow. And quickly realized that we should do this part time. So they were really cool about that. It got weird. So I stuck around for about another year and a half, and I think that was good because obviously bringing in the money didn't have a plan for the future at that point yet.

00:33:44.115 --> 00:34:03.390
So it was good. I was kind of okay. We were winging it kind of for a while, but we were solid. And then, you know, I think over that 1st year, I was able to recover partially because I'm just driven to recover. Kind of, like you said, we've said a million times already, like, getting accurate. Like, you have to do that.

00:34:04.009 --> 00:34:34.755
But I learned that, like, it's hard, but I kind of learned, I was forced to learn how to rest, how to like figure out how to work and live. Like, how do you parent as a stroke survivor? I couldn't, I mean, I couldn't not to be crude, but I you can imagine if you're paralyzed on the right side and you're right side dominant, and then you're also paralyzed temporarily on the left side, left side kind of on for lack of a better word, unfucked itself after 6 months, like that started to get better.

00:34:34.755 --> 00:35:59.153
Yeah. Because really with the MS, it's it's definitely a thing, but it's not always long term. Like, you can like, when you have an exacerbation due to MS, it's it's really more of a short term paralysis. Okay. Yeah. At least in my case. So but, yeah, I couldn't figure out, you know, I forgot where I was going with that, but I you can imagine if you if both sides don't work, well, you can't do certain functions. You, you know, you can't watch your own ass. It's I know for me within that timeframe, that's when me and my son and my her is my way were separated. And I kept telling her don't let him I don't want him to see me like this. Yeah. And I wasn't really on the internet. You would see me get some little clips and pictures of me, but I was I either had a cane or I'll be like, don't take pictures of me. Yeah. Because I was a lot sicker than I led on to be. Yeah. And that was, I was going through it, running out of money. I had money saved up. Right now, I'm like, and I had one of my business, I run a nursery and it's like a business started going the money. And I was like, oh man. And I've I said, I gotta get up. So, that was one of the reasons that helped me get up. I said, I gotta get up or I'm gonna Yeah. I'm not gonna lose everything. And I think a lot of survivors face that. I mean, I've heard it. I don't know if you listen to other podcasts and things like that. There's, you know, I'm I'm a fan. Not everybody is, but like Joe Rogan, Theo Vaughn, like Oh, I love Joe Rogan.

00:35:59.775 --> 00:36:03.614
He he he was the company. Brothers. Yeah. Yeah. He goes hilarious.

00:36:03.614 --> 00:36:13.179
Yeah. I mean, I'll yeah. I love comedy. I love comedians. Like, I grew up in that comedy space. I actually did a little bit of stand up town Miami and improv for a while after college.

00:36:14.760 --> 00:37:20.125
Never took it as serious as I kind of on hindsight, which I did, but it's not a That's a hard Yeah. It is. But I I grew up in the Farley era, and I always Oh, he's one of my favorites. He's great. For better or worse, I I actually had a very similar trajectory to Farley because I went to Miami. So you can imagine I might get a gotten into some things that I shouldn't have gotten into much like he did. And, honestly, I didn't say it yet to you, but, you know, in my thirties, I I wound up becoming an alcoholic. I think I kind of was the entire time through college. I just wasn't like it wasn't as bad as a guy who gotten into my thirties, because but I and I hate to glorify it. I talked a lot about it on Bill's podcast. No. But it's, you know, I didn't have those mechanisms to deal with stress, and I just didn't, you know, like you said, you do yoga. I do a lot of, breath work now. I do a lot of meditation. All those things have been a result of my stroke, which is great. And I knew I wanted to do those things earlier. I just didn't take the time to do them, so alcohol was my sort of coping mechanism because I would work all day.

00:37:20.744 --> 00:37:31.885
I I moved up the ladder in the agency space, and then, you know, I put my kids to bed, and I literally just drink 12 to 18 beers. And I know that sounds insane, but I'm 6 foot 8.

00:37:32.119 --> 00:38:52.724
Yeah. That's a lot of beer, and it's a lot a whole lot of empty calories. Right. And that's just It's weird. I just got off of one of the strokes of virus, Chris, we're talking about. He said he was an alcoholic. He sent me a video of a guy shaking his hand and was shaking real bad. Just trying to recover, but I just told him, I said, my brother admitted suicide because of alcohol. And he was a doctor, lived in Atlanta, and he was just drinking and drinking. We didn't know he had a problem as bad as it was. They ended up finding him surrounded by bottles. He drank himself to death, but he was just having outlining problems that he wouldn't tell anybody. And I'm like, I found that too late. And then my mother still hasn't gotten over that. As long as she's never a son, but I'm like, that's rough. Alcohol is rough. Alcohol is rough and I knew better all along. I I try to keep I know it sounds weird. I tried to keep it in check. It's just like, again, when you're 6 foot 8, it's like Yeah. I wish that whole time that I had actually just drank water or canned water or even hot water, you know, hot water, you can get no no alcohol hot water. Because I do it now. I drink I drink, I don't drink alcohol at all. I don't smoke anymore. None of that bullshit, but it's like, I drink 2 gallons of water at least every day, like, out of a jug, which we don't have to get to the microplastics and that stuff. But That's good. Yeah. I mean, I just them out. Yeah.

00:38:53.105 --> 00:40:02.800
Yeah. It's it's weird. Actually, it ties back to the thing you were talking about earlier about pushing yourself and dehydration, because that is where I sort of I've run a lot, and I'll go a really long time sometimes without act like, I'm not one of those people who brings the water bottle to the GM and has to have the Hydro Flask or the I have to now. Yeah. The Stanley Cup. Like, I'm not my my wife walks around me, yeah, with her stupid ass Stanley Cup. It's just like honestly, there's just not enough water in those cups for me to, like, walk to fill them up. In. Because I could drink 32 ounces of water in 32 seconds. And, you know, I'm like, where's the next cup? Yeah. Yeah. You know what what's horrible for me, in the with the 2 months with the heart issues in the last seizure, and now I drink water all the time. Before, I didn't, but, you know, like, and I it messed up something messed up a part of the heart when they were doing the, is it echocardial? But they were saying it's a part of the oxygen that your intake. And so you I breathe heavy now. And, like, ever since then, and it's like it's almost feel like somebody's standing on my chest, but I'm like, I drink water all day, and I'm like, I used to hate water. I'm like, oh.

00:40:03.900 --> 00:40:44.655
Yeah. Have you not I don't wanna get into the whole breath work thing, but if you're interested, I read a The reason I got into breath work was because of book called, breath, hopefully enough, breath by James Nestor. It's, I love the book. It's called breath. It's the lost art of or I forget the whole title, but it's like, it's sort of how breathing is is we all kind of know breathing at a at a at a level, like, if you're not breathing, you're not living. Yeah. So clearly, we all know we need to breathe. Right? But it turns out nasal breathing. And I got into it really because I was trying to figure things out as as we all are as stroke survivors because there's really no great resources once you leave.

00:40:45.434 --> 00:41:46.394
Inpatient, that's pretty good, but there's nothing really then it's kinda like, alright. Well, figure it out. And, like, you might be at I have great teams at outpatient, but, like, I always say this. My my my therapy teams are great. I love them. I'm so thankful for them. They they help push me. They you know, I push them a lot because I'm like, no, I wanna get I wanna get better at this because because, like, I you know, like, you were talking about I know I'm all over the place, but you talked about jump roping earlier. And I'm thinking to myself, I'm 5 years out. I run 20 miles a day on average. Like That's a lot. Wow. It's a lot. Yeah. It's I I'm kind of like you. I'm intense, but I, I have a real hard time shutting off the intensity. I have smartly switched to, like, mixing indoor and outdoor partially because I'm able to increase my sort of speed to mechanics on the treadmill safely versus outside. I could tend to be a little sloppy with my cane.

00:41:46.614 --> 00:42:36.574
Yeah. Yeah. So me and my that work ethic I had, that was one of the reasons I said with the chest issues, stress, dealing with, my son's mother passing, then I'm always working with my business. I'm doing a lot and moving around. And the stroke, I'm fighting against this, but the Keppra and all that. And I'm like, and the doctor said it, he's like, you're doing way too much. And he's like, I know you're in a situation you have to, but you've gotta slow it down, or you're just gonna not be here. Then you're, and I'm like, that's a weird way to say that. Yeah. Well, well, it's You'd like to too, because I think you might like the book only because you kinda let me down to this rabbit hole. So obviously, I used to be a smoker and drinker and all that stuff. So, like, my breathing just wasn't great in general. Like, I Yeah. I still do it. Like, you could probably hear me on mic now. Like, sometimes I breathe through my mouth just when I'm having these conversations.

00:42:36.635 --> 00:43:10.769
But, like, what I do, like, kinda like yoga. It's like, I really do things intentionally with the breath work, and I know it's so corny. I fucking hate the word breath work. It like, I I don't know. What it is. But the breathing exercises, like, if somebody had ever told me breath work is breathing exercises, I've gotta I'm sure you're not. Like, I would've listened 30 years ago. I wish somebody had just said, hey, take 10 minutes a day to do breathing exercises where you just concentrate on nasal breathing and, like Yeah. It's like Yeah.

00:43:10.929 --> 00:43:38.085
It's a weird concept for some some people. I'm like, I've been doing yoga for so long, but I'm like, it's aware when you're breathe, breathing, and I'm like, it's a different type when you have to control your breathing and move a lot of people don't look at it like that. I'm like, yeah, I said it's more to it. Yes. There is. And it's it yeah. Honestly, like, so many benefits of breathing. And and the reason that I bring up that book of breath is because it led me to a path where I found Patrick Gown, who's over in Ireland and the UK.

00:43:38.659 --> 00:44:46.269
He owns a company called Oxygen Advantage, and he's not a doctor, but he's written a lot of papers and gotten them published. And he's, like, really actually, he's he's kind of big in the fighting world, but, like, not so much over to the US yet. It's still very UK, Europe based. It's and it's interesting because he works with, like, obviously, like, big soccer clubs, like Man United and all the bigger, you know, Premier League teams. Oh, okay. And I just okay. It's it's the thing that helped me that it and I I'm not trying to make this about me, but it's like so I found the breath work and this this stuff, and it's like, that's what led me into running because I was I was definitely biking in 2022. Like, I had gotten stronger enough to start, like, I got a Peloton, which was a whole other thing because I I I literally would've bought a Peloton 10 years ago if I realized you could just buy those stupid shoes for a Peloton, like Oh, yeah. Some other place. Peloton only sold up size 13 until until 2022. And then they sold size 15. And I was like, oh, shit. Now I can get a Peloton because I can buy the shoes to click into the bike. Looking into yeah. Yeah.

00:44:46.409 --> 00:45:06.074
Yeah. I had no idea that you could just go on Amazon and look for a like, and I'm going on Amazon. Amazon has everything now in my car. They do. But I I was so noob to biking that I didn't realize that clicky shoes were like a thing that you could, like Yeah. I didn't know it occurred to me. Oh, let's Yeah. Yeah. It never it never occurred to me to go buy them like a pair of Nike's.

00:45:07.094 --> 00:45:48.105
Oh, that's Yeah. So so I I got the Peloton, and then I started doing that. I was riding, like, 6 I I rode the Peloton so much that I, like again, this sounds ridiculous, but when you sweat all day in Florida, as you know Oh, yeah. And then you're, you know, I was doing the Peloton, but you you're not riding 60 miles a day, not sitting on the bike a little bit. Yeah. So when you're sitting in sweat for multiple Yeah. Workouts, you I'd basically, my ass got shaped for sitting on the thing, and there wasn't enough cushion and padding. That one day, I was doing the breath work, and I was like, wouldn't it be funny if I'd be the 6, 8 strokes survivor with MS who hated running his whole life? Does he go outside and start running?

00:45:48.105 --> 00:45:55.324
I'll show you not. I started doing it and it was not pretty in the start. It was probably just glorified walking.

00:45:55.864 --> 00:46:39.760
Really, if I'm being honest, like the, my legs weren't strong enough to really get the lift off, But it it was enough for my brain to think I was running, my body to feel like I was running. I was suddenly sweating. And so the breath work led to running, and then kinda like Forrest Gump, I just started running in the neighborhood because I I want to feel safe as a stroke survivor, but I was like Forrest Gump in my own neighborhood, and I was like Love that. Yeah. I started doing, like, a lap and a you know, I got up to a mile, then I just literally every day I tried to do, like, one more lap, one more lap, and by the end of 2022 and I know all these dates because I had them tracked on Strava because I was like, alright, let me try to like, after I tested the running, I'm like, let me take it serious and get the app and just track my running a little bit.

00:46:40.059 --> 00:46:47.733
Not because I wanted to be a runner, like, my wife is a marathoner. She's just a social butterfly. Yeah. She's she's that kind of runner. The real yeah. Yeah.

00:46:47.733 --> 00:49:30.269
Those those are hard. That's that's a tough sport. No. No. I'm I'm trying to be the runner that's not, like, kind of runner, like, those lunatics that sign up for races. Like, my wife just got back from Canada to do a damn race. Like, yeah. Like, what? What? I don't even wanna sign up for a race. I just wanna run for me to get better and, like, Forrest Gump. I got time on that one. I just it was weird you say about the Forrest Gump. I just put together I do a lot of content on stuff, but I put together a little Forrest Gump sketch the other day about that with the running. And I'm like, yeah. And I just got up and I started trying to sprint again. But my knee, my right knee is bad with the the right side. I can still run, but it's like the knee and the ankle. And I'm like, but I'm like, you know what? Let me just run anyway. If I hurt something, I hurt it. Don't matter. Yeah. So that for me, because I was in the wheelchair. So like, I was like, okay, well, I'll just see what I can do. And I was out of the wheelchair when I started up his like, 2 yeah. About a year and a half out of the wheelchair, I started that running, give or take. So I kinda came out of the wheelchair. And it's 2020, still using the walker and the cane. And a lot of us, like, I would go to the store and use that, like, dumbass shopping cart that I used to be really that's why I love COVID because I would go to the store and there'd be like, nobody there. So I wouldn't feel as embarrassed to be on that thing. Yeah. That takes some, getting used to. Thankfully you probably didn't have to be on 1, but it's, humbling like many things. But, so because of everything that was affected, I didn't have a choice that there was either slow as shit or Like even now, like, I've actually built up enough strength that I could kind of sprint like, I could definitely sprint on the treadmill and even outside, but it like that initial, like pop off, you know, because I have that doorstep function in my, my right foot. That's still there's still like, when I play with my kids outside who would play sports, sometimes it's hard to tell if it's, it's like stiff from running or sitting, or if it's just that first step is still really awkward. Like, yeah. I would say going. Just keep going. Yeah. I I was, I, I talked to a lot of people. I'm like, you just gotta try it. I said, if the body doesn't, you won't know. Some people don't even wanna try it. I said, like I Yep. A lot of survivors I'm dealing with, they're just kinda like, and they want somebody to rescue and do this and that. And I'm like, you can't, but you can't make them understand that either. Yeah. You actually had some I don't know if you had this problem. I've had someone follow me, literally tell me, I don't believe that you've had a stroke, and I don't believe him now. When I start putting up the videos of me being in the hospital, I get more responses. People are like, oh, and I'm like, what?

00:49:30.809 --> 00:49:52.409
Yeah. The whole the whole thing's weird. So, actually, let's talk about that a little bit because you're kinda and I apologize if I don't know because we kind of just found each other in the last, like, probably 6 months or so. Yeah. I saw I saw that in. Yeah. And so so you've been a survivor for a while. So obviously and I kind of did the well, I did something different. I deleted all my social media initially because I was like embarrassed.

00:49:52.548 --> 00:51:07.885
I was like, all the things that'll take a lot of us feel. Yeah. I didn't wanna share the journey originally. I couldn't even share this journey because I couldn't get either hand to work. So like, even holding a phone was fucking hard for the 1st year. Like That's what I don't there's a lot of people that have access to when they're really sick and all that. They have all these people Yeah. Cornered. In the beginning, the first stroke I had, I couldn't do any of that. I couldn't even look at it. I don't like this. This one, I was awake and I knew what I was doing, so I was able to carry it, but I'm like, how is it that everybody has all this content? I said, I said, let me try that. That's why you only see me post the same stuff because I'm like, I don't understand. Even now, like, I started doing so I was on TikTok probably in 21 20 and 21. I started doing a little bit of TikTok, but not around stroke content. It was just kinda like fucking around on TikTok. I just wanted to see and learn about it because my daughter had been talking about it. It definitely became more popular during the pandemic. Yeah. You know, when I worked in tech and I like I like Instagram because it's kinda easy. You could take a picture, like, you know, I don't care about people's food, but you know, that's how it started to frost because we're a little older now. So like Facebook, I give a shit about because I hate Facebook. Yeah.

00:51:07.885 --> 00:51:22.280
Again, these are the things I wish I didn't delete because I now I'm kind of, you know, when I became a business owner, I was like, okay, well, you can't just be a business owner now in 2021. You kinda have to do a little bit of content or at least have an understanding of the content creation.

00:51:22.480 --> 00:51:26.079
Backdoor on everything. Yeah. You have to be everywhere, like Yeah.

00:51:26.079 --> 00:51:47.199
Well, you don't. You definitely don't. I think Yeah. No. I mean, I know what you mean. It's like, it's just a little bit. I said just a little bit, but not everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like like, I know a lot of people don't love x and Twitter anymore. And honestly, I've had my ins and outs with them, but I but it's weird because you gotta find, you know, if you wanna help survivors, where are the survivors? Like, a lot seem to be on Facebook.

00:51:47.579 --> 00:52:31.594
Yeah. I'm very reluctant to get on Facebook because of a lot of reasons, personal reasons. Like, I think there are some stroke groups on Facebook that would be great to kind of, like, they're really neat, like, you know, I have, like, Shamina that I'm starting to build on survivor science and it's like, there really is a need for a resource for stroke survivors to come together because not everybody's like me and you, not everybody's going to kind of figure it out and test out and figure out what works, but also like, wouldn't you have loved in 2015, if you had a resource of like other survivors to just hear, hear their story and, like, hey, what's working for you? Like, it it may not work one to 1, but, like, okay, like, if you are£530, how did you become that £530?

00:52:32.375 --> 00:52:56.175
Like, how did you do that when you were paralyzed and what says your progression like Well, that's why I wanted to get into it. I started I'm like, there's nobody really. I said, I had to learn a lot of trial and error Yeah. Through a lot of stuff. And I ended up hurting myself doing a lot of stuff. Even now. And I'm like, what did other people do? And then I'm like, the survivor groups on Facebook are kinda sketchy. I don't know. They they work. Off. Yeah.

00:52:56.175 --> 00:53:10.119
TikTok is good. And Instagram, I'm starting to see there's more it looks like there's more on TikTok than Instagram. Definitely more on TikTok. There's there's sort of but even with TikTok, it's like, it's great because we're all sharing little things that's working. People are starting to ask more questions.

00:53:11.219 --> 00:53:29.255
I wish I could comment more like my right hand is so a little messed up. Like my thumb is like, it's not the claw that it once was, but it's it's, you know, like you, the hand. It's like, you know, a talk type is really improving. And I use a lot of like, that's why you see me filming videos.

00:53:29.315 --> 00:54:21.405
It's literally, I film my videos on TikTok, all my desk on this stupid stand, because when I hold the phone, it shakes it, you know, like it's still like, yeah, I can't just like old school, like selfies. That's not the thing anymore. I can, but I have all of my equipment and stuff like that. But, like, after this heart issue and all that, I actually have started wearing glasses. My eyesight went from, like, 2020 to, like Okay. That's why when I was pushing button, you I was like, oh my god. That's such a interesting thing. You did something. Your oxygen messed up. It might come back and it might not. Yeah. Well, that's that's the other fun thing about being a stroke survivor in our forties. Is it 40 or is it strokes? Yep. Yeah. That's what I was like, I keep looking at that. I'm like, my bones hurt. My back hurt. I'm like, I don't know if that's my age or is that because of the right side weakness?

00:54:21.405 --> 00:55:38.199
I'm like, I have Or is it because you're training MMA and I'm running 20 miles? Like, is it maybe that none of the rest are capable of actually resting our body? You know? I think, you know, that's that's why I'm out. I'm like, I don't like that word. Right? I'd like to when you hear me say it, sometimes I'm like, stay out of trouble. Don't push yourself, but I'm like to relax truly. I'm like, it's too much of that. I see too much of the people, and I'm like, keep getting up every day. Do this and do that. And I'm like Yeah. It it there there is a fine line. I struggle with this a lot, but I realized, like, the breath work and and sort of the meditation at least. Like, I still use the Calm app just because it's, like, a solid 10 minutes. And so what I do, I try to stack things together. So, like, when I go to the gym, I'll go into the the infrared sauna because we don't have a real sauna here. Oh, I've heard of that stuff. But I'll go in there. Yeah. They're they're okay. They I I would prefer a real sauna, but it's, you know, it gets hot enough, and you're I'm in there for, like, half hour or hour depending on really depends if somebody else was in there to warm it up first because then it it's fine. But if you have to get in there first when it's cold, it takes fuck an hour to Hour yet? I've heard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's it's it's for me, it's better than nothing, and it's, you know, helps me not get summer into Florida. And now it's a brew balmy 77 today. So I know. I'm like, yeah.

00:55:38.199 --> 00:56:22.164
It's nice today. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm just, I actually like when it's hotter, even though if that's not good for the seizures or the MS, but you know, when it's hotter, you could sweat faster. You can kind of like get that workout and sweat in faster. With me, that's where I ended up having I used to do, hot yoga and a lot of that to sauna. After the stroke, my body cannot handle my he'll start feeling it when it gets too hot right in the back of the brain, start shaking, and I'm like, my eyes will start rolling. If I'm in a sauna, I'll pass up and it's like, it sucks. The body doesn't regulate And they're they told me it was the cerebellum. Your he's like, your cerebellum was responsible for all your movement and how your body responds. And he's like, that's part of it was damaged. I don't know what to tell you.

00:56:22.625 --> 00:57:16.795
That's actually interesting too, because again, this is a great story for people out there to know. Like, you we're kinda similar. Right? We're both trying to push it a little differently than we see typical survivors. I know we've seen a few more younger survivors and even older survivors on social media trying to trying to just, like Yeah. Nobody's feeling sorry for themselves. They're trying to do the best they can. Like, I know, you know, Chris Atkins, who's out in he used to live in Florida, but I think he's out in Salt Lake, I believe. He lives now. He does a lot of weightlifting videos. He had a he had a bunch I don't know if he had 3 consecutive strokes. It was a similar story to me and you. It wasn't just one and done. It was multiple. I've followed a couple of them. I know there's a determined Drew. There's one real big guy. He had a rupture. And, he trains a lot. And I'm like, wow. He he works out heavy heavyweights, but I'm like, but there's so many different ones.

00:57:17.175 --> 00:57:42.284
Right. But he so what I was saying was that, like so it's interesting because we're pretty similar. We've had similar things. And I also, you know, I kinda hate this about myself because I never wanted to be the guy that had thing. Right? Like, I was always, like, I just wanna be me. I wanna be normal. Like, you've probably seen it over the last 5, 5 or 6 years, you know, there's people that like talk about their ADHD and like, okay, that's fine.

00:57:42.284 --> 00:58:40.295
Like, sure. And then there's always people like this thing and that thing. Like, I never wanted a thing. I certainly didn't wanna be a fucking stroke survivor, and I certainly That's what I was. Didn't want to be a stroke survivor with MS. I only say it, and I hate it. Right? This is the one part of social media that hate because it's like, I hate saying it, but I also want people to know the context for things. And like, it's interesting to me because like, where I'm going with this is the sauna is they always told me my neurologist, my, my primary care, like all my teams are like, gotta be careful of that sauna because you're MS. And I'm like, I must have the, like, I don't know if it's my phys physiology or I'm sure it's a bit of all this, but like the heat doesn't really affect me the way the doctors have said it would. I mean, yes, if I go outside in Florida and it's a 120 on the ground and I'm running on pavement, that's It'd be bad.

00:58:40.295 --> 00:59:27.605
Yeah. Probably not dead, but, like, you know, if it's around like, if if it's under a 100, I run outside at least for part of my runs during the day, and then I can go inside to the gym if it is too hot. And, like, it's just so interesting that heat affects different people. Certain people. Yeah. Listening to you about that, like, certain people, the doctors are saying that, like, certain things bother me where, like, cold bothers a lot of people. Cold doesn't. Yeah. But they like that extreme heat. I can't take extreme heat, certain things like that. Like, how bad with mine and my equilibrium is what's really, really bad. Yeah. But my vision, but it's like everything else I can move around even though the the hand doesn't work as much. And they're they're talking about, I used to do a lot of unilateral exercises, so strong on one side, even with the yoga capoeira. So, that doesn't bother me as much as it does with other people.

00:59:28.065 --> 00:59:53.875
Always trying to learn what works, not so I don't give wrong advice to people. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's the other interesting thing was like, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think we're probably similar in this way. It's like, when we're sharing advice on social media, it's like, it's less, I would say less advice, more of like, hey. Here's the thing I'm doing. Here's here's what you know, if you're curious and you see me walking around, like, it's because I put a lot of fucking work into it like yourself.

00:59:53.875 --> 01:00:27.264
Like, you know, every time I've seen you not every time, but most of the time, you're either walking or you're on the mats. That's actually an interesting thing because so my balance, I have neuropathy because, again, I was big and fat, and I had Uh-huh. I had more issues than just the stroke and MS, but I don't wanna give anybody the I'm happy to tell anybody, but it's like my chart, like, you know, where I go, like, it's like, it's longer than a 90 year old man who's lived an entire life and fought through several wars. Yeah. That's not good. I'm like, yeah. Yes.

01:00:28.088 --> 01:00:40.750
It's not. I mean, some of them are compounding and some of them are just, like, you know, I think they're just like, for example, I didn't even realize this is how full my chart was at one point. Like, I didn't realize I got diagnosed with COPD. Like, nobody.

01:00:41.635 --> 01:00:56.190
Wow. Nobody mentioned that along the way because I guess the stroke in the MS became significantly more important, but, yeah. Things they put on certain lists and they're like, well, this is more. We gotta focus on this, and I'm like, yeah. Well, I know some yeah. Oh, no.

01:00:56.190 --> 01:01:15.465
It was like a glitch. And I was gonna say my neuropathy with my foot, I ended up tearing my ankle, years ago trying to run speed run, and I can't feel the impact. And I ended up, rolling right on it, and then you could hear the pop And I'm like, it wasn't surgery bad, but I was off 6 months. I couldn't walk.

01:01:15.465 --> 01:01:22.684
And I'm like, that's a bad. That's why you see me kicking a lot more, but I take it easy on that one on my affected side.

01:01:23.144 --> 01:01:26.960
Yeah. I learned that the hard way too. It's like, so so I have neuropathy.

01:01:27.179 --> 01:01:52.550
I think I'm both sets of feet, which is super fun. So I kind of good and kind of bad, like, cause I run a lot. So I can't really, I run so much now. And this is always hilarious to me because I, because he did running now. I run so much. Like I've lost multiple toenails, like, oh, I've seen people. I'm like, I got some friends that are runners. I'm like, wow, you're worse than me. You're more crazy than I am.

01:01:52.550 --> 01:02:21.010
Yeah. I mean, I honestly, I, but it's a blessing and a curse. I don't feel it. So in the one hand, I don't know there's something wrong, but on the other hand, it's bad because I don't know something's wrong. And like, before I know it, like my That's what I tell people with the moving around. I'm like, if something is broken, I don't know till swelling will happen. So, I'm like, I have to be more careful. I'm like, I was doing drills the other day and I'm like, I'm kicking. Somebody blocked it with an elbow. And I'm like, they were like, are you all right?

01:02:21.010 --> 01:02:24.769
And I'm like, I'm fine. But I was like, oh, you know what?

01:02:24.769 --> 01:03:24.655
Let me check later. And then it started turning black. I was like, oh, Yeah. I'm like, that's a problem. That becomes a problem. That's yeah. Again, I mean, that's it's sort of neuropathy. It's a combo. Right? For me, again, I can never tell. So are you still on blood thinners or or or not? I have my, well, right now I have, what is it? I have a generic, it's a raterostatin. That's the one that just got me on the statin right now. And, I cut out, I have Keppra, but I don't take it as much because it's got like a, even now it has a cotton mouth, and dry mouth all the time. And I'm like, that was one of the worst. Yeah. So Actually, the worst for me was the Keppra grip. That's why I'm so after all that stuff, I didn't have my first seizure until August of 2020. I had no idea what was going on at the time because it wasn't something they had mentioned, which is weird because I have MS. Somebody maybe should have mentioned, you know, hey. Yeah. But they have Sometimes it's overlooked.

01:03:24.875 --> 01:03:28.715
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it's overlooked. It was COVID. Who knows? And no.

01:03:28.715 --> 01:03:31.755
I was just amazing. I never blame her or anything. Like, it wasn't her fault.

01:03:31.755 --> 01:04:13.429
I just, but, yeah, they had me on the Kepper drip originally, and I at the hospital when I first got diagnosed, and I was just such I mean, I was a typical New Jersey big dude. Like, you would have thought I worked for the mob kind of attitude. Like like like, I was just like I was just such an asshole on it because it just it really affected me. So I was reluctant to take the pill. Thankfully, my body didn't give me a choice, and I had to take the pill. The pill has to so I guess now I feel like I'd rather be on it than not on it for sure. But it's definitely a lot better than the IV drip of Keppra because that was Yeah.

01:04:13.429 --> 01:04:37.164
That yeah. Yeah. They had me in the hospital. They had to do that when they had the they had me on the IVs, and I was like, oh, I know what that is. And I said, can you guys stop? But if they're like, yeah, but we know, and you have to do the MRI and we have to keep it. I'm like, oh, I see. It just has this weird effect, but I don't know if you have the pins and needles in the face. It does that a lot to me. I don't know why.

01:04:38.425 --> 01:07:12.590
That's a bit of a joke. I think I get that so much, but maybe I'm so focused. Cause the MS still kind of mess up. Like I think it weakens sometimes if I'm not careful or if I get like, sometimes when I do podcasts, I talk a lot or I get excited to talk to somebody like that real Jersey, Miami, east coast attitude comes out and I get fired up about something. And I just can't, I don't know if you deal with this. Like, it's like, it's kind of the thing we deal with as survivors, especially 2, 2 people that push it. Like, I like to get things out fast and quick, and I like it moving. I like to like yeah. I can't I struggle really hard with doing things slowly, speaking slowly, like I'm intentional right this moment, but like, That's why the yoga is hard. But the thing is, it goes to me strengthening myself for martial arts. That's why it doesn't bother me as much because I'm like, you know what, in the long run, I'm strengthening myself. I'm like, but in the beginning yoga, I'm like, this is dumb. I can't sit here and meditate and stuff. But I'm like, now that it's pushing for to push me in a level of being stronger, then I'm like, yeah, I can deal with it now. Yeah. I mean, that's that's why I do the call up because it's it forces me to do, like, I I wanna like it because I just I did 2020. I just decided to subscribe to it and commit to it. And so, well, it's funny because I'll pay any amount of money on on Amazon for something, and I won't even think twice. And I'll if they keep it or return it, may get used. It may not get used, but, like, like with that app, I was like, no, I'm really going to commit to the$80 for the year to do this app every single day. And I do it every single day, almost now. And same thing with the breath work. What I realized was like, okay, I've had a stroke. I want to push it. I want to go fast. I want to do all these things. I still want to achieve a lot in life. I want to not only get better for myself, my family, and I still have those goals. And I, you know, I guess I look back and I get pissed myself that like, so I'm coming up on 5 years here in December and, you know, probably like yourself. I feel I don't know if you feel this way, but I feel like, okay, this is a speed bump, but this has been a really big speed bump. Like, when you think about midlife crisis and guys in our forties Yeah. This was not what I envisioned. Like, in my 4 year old midlife crisis, I would have, you know, I was thinking, like, maybe a car or maybe a nice new truck, you know, something a little it's a fucking stroke. It hit me hard, and I was like, okay, I'm dealing a lot of stuff. And then I had that other one other one set me back in, and everything was going good. And then I got the news about my, my wife. And then I was like, okay.

01:07:13.369 --> 01:07:16.670
It's not getting and I'm like, now I'm kinda like in a good head space.

01:07:17.284 --> 01:07:28.505
Now I gotta get physical that that, it's been 2 months now, but when that heart stopped on me and the doctor said, he's like, you're very lucky you didn't die. He's like, this is probably your last warning.

01:07:29.204 --> 01:07:32.960
And he's like, you're you're you had the cerebral, and then you had another one.

01:07:32.960 --> 01:07:51.434
And he's like, now your heart arrhythmia, you like he's like, you need to tone it down just a little bit. So, like, I'm not telling you to stop, but just So, you said that that arrhythmia was, plaque buildup. So it was not AFib? Well, what he the way they described it, he's they saw with the echocardiome.

01:07:52.054 --> 01:08:24.284
They said they're they showed some damage that was in there, but they said that it's probably, an accumulation of everything. They said there's a little bit of buildup, but they said the reason why you can't you're not taking in oxygen. And it says you were taking in your training, working, and doing that in stress related. He they, doctor Harkoni, he mentioned a whole bunch of things, but from what the echocardi, they were showing that, and they were saying we could do we could clear it out, but he says, you still don't have the whole the mesh. I have a the PFO. I still haven't had that hole closed up.

01:08:25.109 --> 01:08:47.385
So he's like, we can do this and clear this out, but it's up to you or you can go on a better diet. And I'm like, I don't know. I will tell you, I, so I had a hard thing too, because there is no, they don't know exactly know what caused my initial stroke. Like, you could just take a bunch of factors of the fact that I was doing nothing really right for myself.

01:08:47.385 --> 01:09:59.699
Like, I wasn't doing I wouldn't say I wasn't doing nothing right, but I wasn't doing myself any favors. Like, if I had been doing everything I do now, maybe I wouldn't have had the stroke. And, you know, with the MS, I don't have family history, that I know of, but MS could also be like, it could be genetic and it could be like, sort of like everybody could have it, but also it doesn't like kick in if certain like, it's just very it's not as it's a much more complex thing, MS, than people realize, like gets label MS, but like there's like 800 different kinds. It's all affects everybody a little bit differently. Like at least with stroke, there's sort of like, like a salad, there seems to be more, but generically speaking with stroke, there's hemorrhagic, there's ischemic. Ischemic. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm starting to see that. So they put them in those categories and I'm like, oh, okay. I said, technically, I said, but it's yeah. When they always said that your blood clot is what caused, and they said it was a hemorrhagic. You'd be out of out of but it's like the cerebral the when they call the infarction is what did the damage. It destroyed like, it's oxygen to, one of the arteries. And that's why I have so many issues. He's like, oh, they're dead. We do the MRIs or you can see the dead spots.

01:10:00.239 --> 01:10:14.515
He's like, so your body is just my neurologist said that your body has readjusted to dealing with whatever's wrong, just in its own way. And he's like, that's the miracle of human nature. And I'm like, oh, okay. It's Yeah.

01:10:15.454 --> 01:10:21.279
One of the things I wanted to ask you about because you keep you brought up MRIs, and I have a lot of MRIs. I I have them. Hate them.

01:10:21.279 --> 01:11:28.704
Yeah. I hate them. They they are the worst. Right? So I'm thinking, like, we were talking about stroke and, like, finding other stroke survivors and kind of finding that these resources and, like, the thought, like, that's why I'm trying to build survivor science. So there's survivor science, the website, and there's like the online community portion that I'm trying to build on a platform. It helps that I have the technical background of use Slack for like longer than most people have ever used Slack. I I worked remotely since 2008. So, like, you know, I was an OG, remote worker before the pandemic. So Oh, okay. No wonder. So I'm I'm really interested in trying to get more people in this community because I think I know it's a resource that I wish I had. Obviously, I I was already working remotely. So my first inclination was, like, oh, is there an online stroke community? And, of course, I wasn't ready to there isn't. And I there there's a couple of things, like, I've gotten more involved with, like, Stroke Awareness Oregon or Oregon. I don't know how you say it. Yeah. Stroke Awareness That's so that's so good. SAO is what it's called. And it's, they're great. They have a lot of Zoom calls. They're like, there's some Facebook groups. I personally think they're terrible. I'm sure I'm wrong.

01:11:28.704 --> 01:12:26.435
I'm sure there are a couple of good ones, but you know, that's not super helpful. And again, TikTok is amazing because everybody can share stories, but it doesn't kinda show. Yeah, it's not to help. You know, it's weird. They had the the group I was going to is at AdventHealth, but it was more like a a bunch of people would get together and feel sorry for themselves. Yeah. That, yeah. I can't I said, I can't be here because they're all like, well, this happened and I don't wanna, and I can't, and nobody wants to help me. I'm like, oh, I can't. I did that for about 2 years. I said, I can't do this. And I said Right. And and I don't think I need, I don't need to be around people maybe as intense as myself, but I'm not even sure I can handle it. You're like, we're talking, but I realize they're not going to be, everybody's not going to be like, yes. And think like, you know, whatever anybody thinks about David Goggins, man is in shape. Whatever anybody thinks about Joe Rogan, man is in shape. If I look like that when I'm pushing 60 Yeah. Hell yes to that.

01:12:26.435 --> 01:12:47.430
Like, whatever they're doing isn't maybe the best for me, but it's not wrong what they're doing for themselves. Well, that's what somebody told me about that last week. He was like, I said, I love David Goghe. He's like, but you're not him. I said, I didn't say I was him. Yeah. That's gonna be David Goghe. Yeah. So he's not doing something you would do. I said, but it works for him. Right. Yeah.

01:12:47.489 --> 01:12:54.835
Said, and it's working for me, the pushing, I said in training and all that stuff like that. I'm hurt, but I'll be like, I'm hurt anyway. So, right, right.

01:12:54.835 --> 01:13:25.864
Yeah. I'm hurt anyway. Like that's the other thing is like, once, and I, and I think you'll appreciate this. Like I sort of took on the mentality of like, once I had the stroke and I wrap my head around everything, that kind of like, once everything kind of settled down a little bit for me and I got home and I started to figure things out. I was like, okay, I know this isn't going to be easy, but I owe it to myself and my kids try to like show them Really, it was to show them, hey, bad shit's gonna happen in life. This isn't what I would want for any of my kids. I don't want it for anybody.

01:13:25.864 --> 01:13:29.625
Honestly, I wouldn't wish stroke upon my worst enemy. No. It's it's rough.

01:13:29.625 --> 01:14:17.050
Yeah. It's rough. And I I've asked you to said this a couple of times too, is that, like, so there are a few things in life. Like, most cancers when somebody gets diagnosed with cancer, there's sort of, you know, there's there's there's hopefully a treatment plan. Some cancers, there isn't, but, like, it's sort of like maybe this is just an assumption, but you sure it doesn't fuck up your life the same, and this is being it's probably unfair, but it it sort of doesn't there there's nothing like a stroke that really debilitates a part. Like, you you go from being able to walk, talk, shit, wipe, pee, everything on your own one day. And then literally the next day you have a stroke and strokes like, fuck you. You're not doing any of this.

01:14:17.694 --> 01:14:28.015
That's what happened. It's weird. That was a weird transition for me being like independent and strong. And then I went to not being, and I'm like, I didn't know how to handle. That was the part I didn't know how to handle. Yeah.

01:14:28.015 --> 01:14:52.664
I know it's still working on this. My mother helping me out and stuff. I'm like, this is weird. I said, I've just I'm like, I don't like that. I didn't that's also what helped me get back to it because I'm like, I don't like that at all. Yeah. Dude, dude, I hated it so much that I I've told this story a couple times too. Is that like, so so I didn't do this the first time of rehab, but after I got diagnosed with MS and I went back to rehab, they put me in a, a more arrow. I don't know.

01:14:52.664 --> 01:14:56.284
It's some different kind of wheelchair where it was a little more mobile for me.

01:14:57.145 --> 01:15:00.604
And I, again, I didn't love running back then. I was a big boy still.

01:15:01.199 --> 01:15:22.573
So my shoe fell off one day. And so, you know, I'm, like, weird. If I got the shoe I always wanted my shoes on in the hospitals because I wanted to feel like that stability. Yeah. And because really, even still now, I can't really walk barefoot unless I'm on, like, a MMA mat. I actually have some thicker mats that I train work on, but like, generally, like I have tile, you know, we live in Florida. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

01:15:22.573 --> 01:15:59.500
Still a big dude. Like, I'm not on like down I still say 2.75. I'm actually under 275. I'm actually actually on under 250 now, as of last night, but it's a barefoot on tile is not a thing I like. I got it like that before, really, generally. So, and I had a point to that story. It's the thing. It happens. I was like, where is it going with that? It have I would say, you know, it it happens sometimes. I'm like, Yeah. Yeah. That's that's part of stroke. Right? It's, We talking about that the other day, but brain fog. Yeah. I get that. Yeah.

01:15:59.500 --> 01:16:50.145
Every once in a while, it'll be like, oh, and then I'm like, shit, what is that gonna Yeah. Yeah. And and the other thing, that's what drives you crazy too about my hand is, like, I could type now, and I can definitely peck the keyboard to death and get it done. I do use a little bit more talk to type, although I find out I I'm in this weird space of like, I spend so much time unfucking the talk to type that I might as well just really try to force myself to like That's where I'm at. I said, this is my last one. I just had a lot of, just like where you just had a brain fog, like, I had issues like talking. I was thinking words and I'm like, oh my God. And I'm like, I have issues around like my dizziness and stuff like that. But I said, you know what? I'm going to be like that anyway. So I just have to keep, and I'm like, what happens if I don't, if I stop in first Hartford, I'm like, it's weird.

01:16:50.145 --> 01:16:57.149
And some people look like they just stop and then wonder and worry about that one specific thing. And I'm like, oh.

01:16:57.850 --> 01:17:04.890
Yeah. Well, there's the I think there's some good and bad to that. Because I actually I've been kinda like, so I'm coming up on 5 years.

01:17:04.890 --> 01:17:19.555
So I'm trying to, like, as I do more content and I try to share things because I can't really go back and film the things I can't go back. I don't have a fucking time machine. So Yeah. I wish I did. Yeah. I wish I did because I would've done quite a few things differently.

01:17:19.555 --> 01:17:29.729
But even when I think about it, it's like, okay, breath work, like, sounds ridiculous. Right? But I was in a wheelchair, so you can't do much. Oh, I know. Sorry. Let me tell the story I was gonna tell first.

01:17:29.729 --> 01:17:36.609
So I I get after it so much. I was so intense when I went back to the rehab facility the second time right before COVID happened.

01:17:36.609 --> 01:18:23.199
Yeah. Again, I was wearing shoes in the hospital, couldn't walk in a wheelchair. I was starting to, like, cry some minimal movements. Like, I I'm talking, I was trying to stand up from the wheelchair and just transfer to the bed on my own. Like, that's how slow this was. But my shoe fell off one day in my wheelchair and I fucking at £530, you can imagine how this goes, my shoe fell off and I'm like, oh, let me grab that £530 in a wheelchair. I fell out of the wheelchair because my dumbass tried to pick up a shoe. Where the hell was I gonna I couldn't walk yet. I was trying to pick up my shoe on the ground, and it was really embarrassing because that £530 at that point, I mean, I might've been closer to 5 already at that point, but it was they had to get that. They call it a Hoyer.

01:18:23.199 --> 01:19:07.625
It's the big boy machine where if you're a real big boy machine, and it's super fucking embarrassing. Cause I was on the ground, you know, on this through my whole entire life up until the stroke, I could walk, I could talk. I was pretty graceful for a big man. Like, I I really was like an offensive left tackle. And, yeah, they had to get the machine. They had to get, like, 35 nurses in there because you can imagine. Oh. I I love all my nursing teams, but I I guess They're still gotta be rough. Yeah. They they they didn't have any better there just to pick me up with one hand to help me get hell up. I had to get a machine. It was so embarrassing. It's gonna be rough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They made a whole whole scene out of it, which was, you know, it was bad enough that I had to have a machine crane me in my wheelchair.

01:19:09.444 --> 01:19:20.680
That, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I guess, I mean, I've learned it's it's added levels of humbleness and I'm like, it's, it's, it's into teaching other people to avoid this as good.

01:19:20.680 --> 01:19:44.694
I work with a lot of the younger athletes and I always tell them, try to be as natural as possible. I said, do you not go in that gosh, because it's not necessary. Although you have a lot of the guys in the sports, they do PDs and athletic to performance, but it's not necessary. A lot of them, it's not necessary because some of them end up losing anyway. And I'm like, they'll give you an edge, but does it really It's only temporary. Yeah.

01:19:45.319 --> 01:19:48.779
Because I I tell them all is I'm good at in a lot like me.

01:19:49.239 --> 01:20:17.630
And it's like, I'm getting ready to put my story out there why I started, the martial arts. I said I wanted to I've been training most of my life and got to that age where I wanted to fight. And then this hit me, and I'm like, maybe that wasn't my purpose. And it bothers me all the time because I'm like, damn, I was really good at moving around. And I'm like, those years are gone now. It's different. Yeah. Yeah. Again, it's a, I think for both of us, we could probably relate the midlife crisis nobody wants and they struggle.

01:20:18.010 --> 01:20:43.420
Yeah. That's where I'm at. For lack of a better word, stroke is sort of a crisis that nobody really wants to go through. And I, I, when I see people, I, I, I never used to be one of those, you know, I just see people going through things kind of like the way I was. And I, again, I was a sneaky alcoholic. Like I kind of, I would just go buy a bunch of beer, and I would stock up in the fridge.

01:20:43.560 --> 01:23:19.885
Like, nobody would see you wouldn't see me carry a 20 pack every day into the house. You'd see me carry, like, a 6 pack because I would just kinda, like, shovel multiple things through the like, even my wife Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. Because my boys at the time before my stroke, they were very young. They were 4 5 when I had my stroke. So, like, she was very hands on with them in the very early stages, you know, and like, so I would run to the store. I did all those things. Like, I was just kinda, even she didn't see it because I was, like, sneaking beer into, like, the fridge in the garage back in the day, back when we lived in Jersey. That was undercover. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I grew up in Jersey. I mean, honestly, before the Internet, I was on I was on this should have been a red flag right away to me in hindsight is that I was in Inside Edition. I don't know if you remember that show. Yeah. Yeah. I don't wanna make that. So back in 2002, I was a fresh yeah. I was just finished my freshman year in college, but, Inside Edition had contact my friends and I because we were kind of the original Jersey Shore kids. Oh, wow. So before Jersey Shore became a show, and probably based off of my friends in many years before me, like, kids would go in in Jersey. We lived I lived in on the Jersey Shore, and so we'd all go buy tons of beer. We all drank in high school, but after prom, we'd go down to the Jersey Shore in crappy motels and, like, rent out the entire motel for prom weekend. We won't wanna give a shit out of prom. I I care literally only about the drinking part. Yeah. He's hanging out all along. Yeah. They did a whole a whole piece on it back in 2002, and that should've been a real red flag that I was not going on the right path. It probably didn't help that I was going to school in Miami drinking too good of a time. Again, you know, I think the body is built for that sort of 20 year old period, but when you Yeah. I was gonna say, there's nothing in luck after a while. You know what? Yeah. Like, there there's there's a reason college ends, whether you're you know, you get a degree, you do your thing, you get rewarded for the work you put in, and you you get to have that fun during that time because you're putting a lot of work in school, generally speaking. You know, if you graduate, that's enough work to graduate. Cool. You're like, you earned that. Now real life starts, and you you should go from 50 cocktails on a Friday to, like, 2 at the most. 1 or occasional. Yeah. Yeah. Like or or none is really what you should go to. You know, but I stuff, but some people don't stop and it's like Yeah. And I didn't. And I I really it's weird because I again, I never wanted to be the guy that had a thing. And, you know, Bill was talking about, you know, the alcohol thing, and he's like, oh, you should talk about that more. And I was like, I don't mind. I'll have you to share it with people if I think it's helpful, but it's I I I'm not one of those people that preaches, like, don't drink alcohol.

01:23:19.885 --> 01:23:30.939
It's like, no. I I just shit. I just shouldn't have had I shouldn't have gotten to a point where I was drinking I mean, it was so bad just and I was drinking 20 ice houses a night.

01:23:30.939 --> 01:23:48.935
Now if you know anything about beer That's so wrong. Familiar beer. Ice house is the shittiest of all the beers. It's got a higher alcohol. Yeah. Yeah. It's, like, it's it's a really shitty tasting IPA because it's got, like, the the alcohol content of an IPA. But it's still yeah. But it's disgusting.

01:23:49.555 --> 01:24:00.260
Yeah. I'm a genius. Than a Guinness. We're like Guinness. Yeah. It's it's worse than a old English forties back in the day. Oh, yeah. I remember those. Those are strong. Yeah.

01:24:00.479 --> 01:24:04.260
Yeah. Yeah. Those yeah. Edward 40 hands if you ever played that game.

01:24:04.399 --> 01:24:15.185
Oh, jeez. I had one of my buddies at, like, what is it? 211. But that was trash. They call it trash beer, like, I'm like, 211, 4 Loco. Else. Not right. 4 Loco was big in Florida back in the day.

01:24:15.185 --> 01:24:59.909
Yeah. 4 Loco. That was what everybody I'm like, wow. Yeah. They were they were grimy. Yeah. Yeah. If if if you can yeah. I mean, there are some good beers you can buy at a gas station. But if you're buying single things that are coming in colorful cans at a gas station, you might wanna rethink that choice. Yeah. It's brain killer. That's what I put. So I I could talk forever, and I I'd be glad to have you back on sometime, but I wanna ask Good afternoon. Just a couple of questions to kinda Yeah. Wrap this all up. They're basic, they're boring, but I kinda wanna get your thoughts Yeah. Around some of the things like, a little mix of things. Or is there anything you're currently I do this a lot on my single episodes. What do I talk about? What I'm watching? What I'm reading? What I'm listening to? Because I do a lot of audible books. Thanks to my stroke hand. My dominant hand is my right hand. So Yeah. That's good.

01:25:00.109 --> 01:25:26.329
Reading a book is mostly annoying because I don't wanna shake it. Yeah. Shake it. Yeah. But if it's I read textbooks for school now, and I'll put it down in front of me, but I'm not not doing that with a regular book plus the eye thing. Audible is audible is the way to go. So yeah, you're watching anything interesting outside of sports, probably, anything reading, learning, listening, right? Now I'm, because I do a lot of with the mixed martial arts filming. I do a lot of stuff like that. So, I'm just working on a lot of film.

01:25:26.329 --> 01:26:10.944
So, I just go over like, you'll see on YouTube, it's got us like Peter McKinnon and stuff like Casey Neistat, they're filmmakers and I'm just coming up with ideas and writing scripts. So, I don't really, like watch TV anymore because there's nothing really good out anymore. Fair enough. Yeah. I only watch it very minimally. I like it. Sometimes I'll want to watch the podcast versus listen. So, I will, honestly, if it wasn't for sports, I could probably get like, I wish there was just a world where I didn't have to pay for YouTube TV or any kind of TV. I could just swap, just give me 1 or 2 streaming things for when I wanna sort of do some recovery and just something, yeah, get out of my head, but I don't want to pay for watching sports.

01:26:10.944 --> 01:26:54.550
Like I'm tired of paying. Weird. I just canceled ESPN because of the UFC. It was good. But then they were like, oh, we're going up on price. Yeah. I just saw that. Yeah. I saw them like, I see how much money they make a year. I said, I don't wanna contribute to that. I listened to I listened to yo, Rogen on YouTube. Yeah. It was with the Donald Trump and the Elon Musk the other day. I'm like, Cool. I'm like doing a little dance. Like, yeah. I'm like And I thought they were interesting, honestly. I think, I don't know how you feel about collection, but I feel like, I don't think he's I mean, people talk about this, but they talk about the swaying of things. I'm like, he offered both parties to come on the podcast, like Yep. Free. And then inherits. Kamala didn't take it because she wanted it on her own terms.

01:26:54.550 --> 01:26:57.930
And I'm like, so Joe Rogan is established. He doesn't need you.

01:26:58.390 --> 01:27:16.034
Yeah. And he wants to listen and am like, Yeah. And it's weird too because, you know, I'm also a Howard Stern fan because I grew up with Howard in the in the nineties nineties and Yeah. I don't listen as much because I I don't have Sirius anymore. So I kinda just catch clips through social media. And I really do love Howard.

01:27:17.130 --> 01:28:42.269
And he I think he had Kamala, but I I didn't really see the whole thing. And it's just unfortunately, he just doesn't have the pull that he used to have. No. He did. I know. Say that because he he was the greatest and the best. Yeah. He was the man. Now they have so many just so you're talking about Theo and, like, Joe Rogan has taken. Joe Rogan, I think, is the number 1. Yeah. He is I know. But he always gives he you know, credit to Joe. He always he's always, like, you know, all he talks about how he listened to Howard and he grew up on Howard and he loves Howard. And I think I think there is sort of an unspoken passing of the baton really that I don't even think I realized. Like, I was kind of slow to go to Rogan. Yeah. Which is weird. Like Robert Green, Jordan Peterson. I don't know if you're listening to Jordan Peterson. I'm really big on him. Yeah. Yeah. And again, these are all it's interesting. I think that our whole conversation has been interesting just because the mindset and the way we think and the way we sort of push and test and the people that were there's something and we're getting off track again, but it's it's I think it's worth talking about because I don't know if you experienced this. I I certainly felt a certain way about a a lot of things. And some of that be could because of age, because, you know, I was just very focused, in my especially in my thirties where I started to take my career much more seriously. And I was married, and we were having kids. You know, I listened to Howard, but I I it's weird that I was reluctant, but I to certain things.

01:28:42.269 --> 01:29:50.114
But my point is there that we both have this sort of sports background, and I I feel like for me, the stroke sort of put me in a place where I became more open to learning new things and keeping an open mind. And I think that's because like a lot of the things we're told, the strokes of ours, like they don't not work, but sometimes they might not be the right thing you need at the right time. Like, I always refer to my therapist used to talk to me about walking backwards. I was like, shut off, Katie. I don't wanna walk backwards. I can't even fucking walk forward. Why are why are we talking about backwards? Like, let's go forward before we go backwards. Like But it you know, that that actually helps. That's what in martial arts, they talk about always keeping your cup empty. You never wanna have a full cup. And it's like, and I apply that stuff like, especially with MMA, always evolving. They're always learning something new and pushing their selves a different journey. And I'm like, I'm applying that with my recovery physically. And I'm like, let's see where that goes. There's a guy I follow on Instagram, Paul Reed. He's 53, and he's fighting. He started fighting at 36. And I'm like, I think he said he's 27 by 10, and he's 53 right now. I'm like, wow.

01:29:50.755 --> 01:30:01.954
Yeah. I mean, that's that's commitment because most 53 year olds are looking at it like the the weird thing that happens to 50, I think, from my observation is either we'll both look the same or better Yeah.

01:30:02.034 --> 01:30:34.219
Going towards 50 or you can go the opposite way. And so there's not to make it to black and white, but there's kind of 2 choices. Do it for me. If you've there's a guy I'm not your number Saved by the Bell, Mario Lopez. He's the one that I follow the most His regimen, and he's 50 right now, but he looks almost the same. And I'm like, I talked to him a long time ago. He told me, he's like, I minimize going out in the sun, exercise. I drink a lot of water, but he's like, he does a grapevine oil kinda keep his skin strong. Yeah. But I'm like, this dude looks the same.

01:30:34.840 --> 01:31:27.755
Yeah. Mum Hardy is another one, but Tom Hardy's got the big grizzly beard, but he's doing jujitsu and boxing, but I'm like, good. I just wanna keep like that. Yeah. There's a lot of good stuff to it. Yeah. Sorry. We got off track here. But, what else? What is yeah. I guess this is kind of a generic question, but I I feel like it gets a variety of answers. It's like I'm sure we both feel because we're kinda, maybe a baby OG coming in by 5 year mark of stroke because 5 years is a big deal to me because it's it's that scientific thing we hear often is just, like, sort of the first 5 years. I mean, we hear a lot of things about stroke, but, like, I think because most of the time, there's that 5 year window where a lot of stroke survivors, you know, may have a second stroke in that 5 within the first 5 years, generally. That's what happened to me. Yeah.

01:31:27.895 --> 01:31:31.510
Yeah. Well, yours was different, though. I don't think yours was the lack of Trello.

01:31:31.510 --> 01:33:11.324
Like, yours is actually the opposite of why most happened, because, like, usually, I think it's in reference to people, like, kinda shit shit or get off the pot, you know, whereas your clock. Yeah. You were kind of, like, overextending, like, yours yours is a outlier, I think. Yeah. That's what yeah. That's how I look at it. Yeah. Yeah. But I think kinda looking back, like, I was talking about breath work. I wish I kinda knew that sooner because I could have been doing that in the wheelchair for a lot of great health benefits for me. But, yeah, what's what's something that you've kinda learned over the last, you know, 10 or so years now that either you wish you knew sooner or that you think has really helped shape your outlook? I mean, obviously, you have a lot of discipline and things built in already. Is there something in your opinion? Well, paying actually paying attention to my body. I was training, but not really listening to, like, things. If I had headaches, I was dehydrated, things were hurting, taking regular doctor's appointments and stuff like that. Really, really paying attention to your body because it's telling you something. It's like a car. It's got the check engine light. Some people keep going and going. Car is telling you something's wrong and you just keep. And then when it happens, to, like, that's what I wish I had known on all of that, from the the first stroke to the next one, to this heart issue. I wish I had and I'm like, the hardest, I didn't see that coming. I I know that I was pushing myself too much anyway. I knew I should've slowed down, and I just I was angry. Certain things you can't control. Breathing helps Yeah. Keep your stress level low. That's where I was at. The stress level is 1. I'm like, ugh. So really just kinda regulating your body, understanding your body, keeping those, doctor's appointments.

01:33:11.324 --> 01:34:54.220
Like, would you even say, like I know this would suck for you because you you mentioned early on was, like, I think as people, like, kind of tend to push it, like, I know for me, I kinda always encourage people now, like, to take that 10 minutes, like, even if you're an east coaster and you push it a lot, like Yeah. Take take the 10 minutes to do the breath work or do the yoga or do the meditation because the 10 minutes, you feel like a long time in the moment, but like I tell people at night, find time. I tell people sometime you'll see me post a yoga at night, but it might be 12 o'clock at night. I'll still do 20 minutes, 30 minutes a day. I'm like, chill out and just forget everything. It's hard to say, but some people are like, oh, I can't just do that because I gotta think about the next day and all that. I'm like, if you can just stop and realize that you made it through the day, you're good. I'm like, that's one thing that helped me. And I focused more on it because when I couldn't move around when I was walking around with a cane, that's when I started really sitting down and doing yoga and people were like, what are you doing? Then I started going into other with the hot yoga and the Superstar. I'm like weird trying to find different ways. I'm not Joe Rogan DMT yet. Like I'll I'm not one of those yet. Yeah. I actually just did an episode on psychedelics because I'm kinda curious about it myself. Not, not really. So I have MS, so I got my medical marijuana card here in Florida and I tried it for a little bit. It didn't seem to do much. I'm one of those guys I'd never really liked weed. So like, I can't stop. So maybe it'd be different. Cause it'd be like it, you know, it is safer because it's regulated here in Florida. Yeah.

01:34:54.760 --> 01:35:51.310
And I guess you're always kinda hoping for, like, a miracle pillar. Honestly, I think it's just about for me, it's always about being staying open to things and being like, okay. Well, maybe this could work. And, like, you know, there are medical benefits to certain things. And the more work I put in, the more I'm open to trying new things, I think. I don't know if you feel this way. It's like, you know, like you look at us, you're, we're both doing a shit ton of shit and we both got right hands that kind of like kinda cooperate, but kinda don't wanna cooperate sometimes, or like, you wanna get nervous on the zoom call or anything. And I'm trying to close the window. All of a sudden, I can't close the stupid zoom window or the keyboard shortcut. I forget. That's me. I'm like, will mine listening to Joe Rogan and Mike Tyson explain it? Like, I'm like, I'm not ready to push myself into their, like, to the master plane, Eddie Bravo's like that. They're like going to this, and I'm like, you know what? I'm not ready to do all that. Yeah. I'm never I'm never ready to fly out of the country to take a vacation to do a thing.

01:35:51.710 --> 01:35:59.149
Talk about that. He's like, and your brain does this and separates and goes to I'm like Yeah. No. I'm not ready yet. Yeah. Yeah.

01:35:59.149 --> 01:36:32.774
But I I you know, it's it's interesting that they got me curious about it because you talk about Bobby Kennedy and how it might work. Because I I also talked about PTSD as it relates to stroke because I think we all might have a little bit of that or at least I've Yes. Like, I'm you know, having a stroke is shit, but it's not the same as going to war. But I'm I'm really curious how veterans because I have a lot of friends that are veterans that were in the military. Yeah. And, like, some of them do have PTSD, and some of them have it pretty goddamn bad. And, like, if we can't help them, like, you know, I want it to be available to them if it'll work.

01:36:33.314 --> 01:36:40.215
And certainly, you know, there's certain things like controlled environments. Like, I definitely believe in that. I don't think you should just go buy it.

01:36:40.514 --> 01:36:54.158
Like, you know It's gotta be I have a few friends that I've been they smoke a lot, but they're military, but they said that DMT, they've done it. They said you have to be in a controlled space. And he's like, once you do that, there's no real, side effects.

01:36:54.618 --> 01:37:41.300
I got a buddy that was he's in Arizona. He says he has a they did a peyote. And he's like, Indians used to do this fire water, and he says, they were fine. It's like, but that's what they talk about, the higher plane hallucinations. And and I'm like, oh, okay. It'll help, but I'm like, Yeah. Well, it's interesting too, because I think somebody on TikTok here, she was talking about stem cells and I've always been kind of curious about that. Like, that also seems too good to be true. Well, we have Kind of like the, the, the psychedelics. It's like, you know, it seems to work for a lot of people, but I always feel like, well, if it works for everybody else, it probably won't work for me. Like Well, we got the fighters on our jaw. I know about stem cell for like our injections of what they do for the knees. They said they've the high recovery rate for that.

01:37:41.300 --> 01:38:22.164
So I'm like, that works. But I'm not in there I'm not in their space with that either. So I'm like Right. I I don't really want any needles coming at my brain. I don't feel like we know enough about the brain for people to be fucking around. Like, everything's pretty good for me. Like, I feel pretty solid out where I'm out 5 or 10, you know, most things like stroke we joke about stroke brain, but that's like, you know, maybe I could just fix my hand, like, work work on my hand more to fix it so I could write things down in a notebook in front of me. Yeah. That's what I want. I'm like, if I could figure out why the the seizures I have, I'm like, I wanna get rid of that before I start Right. Flying into the end, looking at penguins coming off the floor. We're willing to do that first.

01:38:22.545 --> 01:39:52.454
Here's why it's interesting to me just to kind of tie this in a bow is because like, I feel like you and I are 2 people and there are many more I'm sure that have put in a significant amount of work. Right. But we still have little things. Now they might be finer motor skills or like, I know you said equilibrium. I have that issue too, which again, I never had, even though I'm huge, but thanks to MS, I have a little bit of that imbalance sometimes. Or like, I wear a size 17. Like maybe I just fucking trip over my own feet. Is it Yeah. That's awesome. That's crazy. It's the old game. Is it stroke? Is it 68? Is it MS? Is it a combination of all the things? But I am not looking for a one size fits all solution, but it's like, okay. I feel like I put in pretty good work. And as long as I continue to put it in work Yeah. I'm all for something like, could if you put in a lot of work, I feel like, okay, maybe, you know, maybe now whatever higher being, whatever, whatever happens in the world, whatever, whatever, like, could I, could I get a little, like, could I get a free week, like a win? Like, could I, you know, could I have a pill, a pill for a week fixes my hand that I just like I go back to normal handwriting and write? All I really wanna do is be able to have a notebook in front of me while we're chatting to write down a little note while you're talking so that I can refer back to it. Look. Yeah. Small steps. That's where I'm at. And also, I'm trying to, I've made it this far and I'm like, I'd like to help other people. I'm getting like that as I've gotten older. I guess that's more age too. As I've gotten older, I like to help other people. Not so much. You know, it's weird before my stroke, not so much before that.

01:39:52.454 --> 01:40:03.250
It destroyed a lot of my ego. And I'm like, you know what? This is a different experience. Maybe that's supposed to be happening. And I'm like, that's one of the things I'm looking at with my stroke. I'm like, maybe that's supposed to happen.

01:40:03.789 --> 01:40:13.925
Yeah. And I think I think what you, you know, like I said, you know, we only kinda know each other before today on on on TikTok and Instagram and couple I think those are the 2 currently that we both are on.

01:40:13.925 --> 01:40:27.739
Yeah. But I think it's important because some of the things, like, admit this will be different for everybody, but I feel like, you know, in the beginning, I wasn't ready to share. I needed that time to wrap my head around everything.

01:40:28.119 --> 01:42:01.140
Yep. Get my body kind of like, I mean, I wasn't looking pretty particularly fun to look at. I mean, I'm not sure I am now, but I definitely wasn't at £500, you know, and I had to wrap my head around that. And I think people need to, you know, be aware of that. And I think that's probably why you're seeing a little bit more of people like us that are a couple of years out because those first couple of years are really rough and we know it's rough, and you can hear from your doctors. And, again, that going back to community, I think it's so important because, like, you know, in the beginning, you you shouldn't worry about filming yourself for TikTok. It's just, like, great if you're no. Yeah. It's a little weird. Right? Because, like, you and I now have shared kind of some back stories, and, I don't even have pictures from when I was in the hospital because I was so fat. I didn't want anyone taking a picture. That's what I look at. Like, the first stroke that I had, the bad one, I said, I wasn't conscious. I said, like, how do those people doing? And then, like, when I was in the hospital recently, I had it because it was something that happened then. I'm like, this is wasn't so I could do that. But I'm like, are you guys really as bad? Or I said, what's going on? Social media is weird. Social media is good and bad at the same time. Yeah. I I do like what we both agreed on earlier was that how, like, the it does seem like if you talk about stroke and, like, if you're you on a certain platform for good, you'll, you'll kinda, like, you'll kinda find other people to at least kinda at least connect in this way where like, okay, come on to a podcast. Like, it may not be building a whole I'm sure what I'm building and I'm undertaking is a huge endeavor.

01:42:01.814 --> 01:42:27.079
And probably why it doesn't exist because American Heart Association is kinda meh. I feel a certain way about some of these organizations. Like, I know they wanna do good, but they they'll say they wanna do good, but it feels a little bit like virtue signaling. Like, they don't actually give a shit. That's where I don't think so. Yeah. Yeah. And I, I actually do give a shit and I know how to run, like, you know, like I said, I worked for a remote company, so it's like, I know how to respond to people.

01:42:27.079 --> 01:42:55.729
I know that I hate when I used to work in a remote company and I would put a message in Slack to my team. And if somebody wouldn't say something within a minute, 2 minutes, I'd be like You're irritated. Yeah. Yeah. I'll I guess I'm old now because I'm the guy that I will keep texting until somebody until until I get like, my wife today. My wife is actually older than me, so she should be better at this than me, but she she she'll text, and I think this part being deaf, part whatever, part part just my wife.

01:42:56.505 --> 01:43:00.104
She'll she'll, like, text, and you know she got the goddamn phone in her hand.

01:43:00.104 --> 01:44:01.434
Like, I texted back in, like, 10 seconds. Why am I waiting for an answer to a question that's, like, it's a yes or no, but I would like the yes or no be so I can move on with my day. That's a me. I'm a that's a pet peeve to me. I'm like, god. I'm like, I understand emails, but I'm like, if you're expressing, I'm like I I mean, I'm still not the best at email in terms of staying calm, but, I could kinda do 24, 48. Oh, yeah. After Yeah. After 72, I'm I'm never gonna be the circle back guy, but you might be hearing from me again if I if I Yeah. I'm one of those. It's a little weird, but It's it's funny. So, again, thanks, Jason, for taking the time. You know, I know we keep talking forever and I'd love to have you back on some topics. I feel like we have a lot of common things and I'm sure we, when I listened back before I, you know, release the episode to everybody, I'll realize 10,000 things like I usually do, but, again, I wanna thank you for your time. I really do appreciate it. And, I know it's getting late here on the east coast. So I was gonna say thank you for having me on. Yeah.

01:44:01.434 --> 01:44:04.920
I love the conversation. I'm like, some people are kinda stagnant on it. Yeah.

01:44:04.920 --> 01:44:08.279
ABM superhero, he's really good if you ever reach out to him. Yeah. I did.

01:44:08.279 --> 01:44:26.654
I did actually die. Yeah. I did. He just I didn't realize he does seasons, so I kinda just Oh, well, yeah. Yeah. He's I probably should do seasons 2, but I can't bring myself to, like, actually say, like, this is the end of the season, and then we're gonna do some tea. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. He had me. I'm like, yeah.

01:44:27.274 --> 01:44:31.034
Yeah. But yeah. So, again, I wanna thank you for being here.

01:44:31.034 --> 01:44:38.515
And, yeah, I'll That's definitely Yeah. I'm gonna so, yeah, I'm gonna stop I'm gonna hit stop recording and just talk to you for a second after.

01:44:38.515 --> 01:44:39.574
Okay. Hit. Definitely.