65. Survivor Science Soundbites: The Ego Paradox in Stroke …
Send us a text In this week’s Survivor Science Soundbite #7, I dive into the "ego paradox" and how it impacts stroke recovery. Ego can be a…
Dec. 2, 2024
65. Survivor Science Soundbites: The Ego Paradox in Stroke Recovery
In this week’s Survivor Science Soundbite #7, I dive into the "ego paradox" and how it impacts stroke recovery. Ego can be a powerful tool, fueling persistence and helping us push through plateaus, but it can also become a blocker, keeping us from asking for help or setting realistic goals.
Key topics include:
- How ego drives progress in stroke recovery or creates setbacks
- Strategies for using ego as a tool rather than a trap during recovery
- Practicing strategic humility and productive pride after a stroke
- The importance of celebrating small wins and setting achievable recovery goals
I’ll share personal reflections on how ego has shaped my own stroke recovery journey and offer practical insights to help you find balance. Tune in to explore how to harness your ego to fuel your progress without letting it derail your recovery.
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Medical Disclaimer: All content found on this channel is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information provided, while based on personal experiences, should not replace professional medical counsel. Always consult with your physician or another qualified health provider for any questions you have regarding a medical condition or treatment. Always seek professional advice before starting a new exercise or therapy regimen.
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:06.209 --> 00:00:08.820
And welcome back to another survivor science soundbite.
00:00:09.269 --> 00:00:12.000
I hope you had an enjoyable Thanksgiving weekend.
00:00:12.359 --> 00:00:12.839
Last week.
00:00:12.869 --> 00:00:15.269
I know I did not leave release a full episode.
00:00:15.269 --> 00:00:17.969
I did two smaller soundbite episodes.
00:00:19.140 --> 00:00:22.769
Playing a little bit of catch-up after the Thanksgiving weekend here in the states.
00:00:23.370 --> 00:00:24.480
Hope you're doing well.
00:00:24.480 --> 00:00:25.199
I am a.
00:00:25.440 --> 00:00:28.079
A little bit tired, just fresh out of the gym this morning.
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So this week.
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I, you know, over the holiday, I was thinking about a lot of things.
00:00:33.390 --> 00:00:39.060
I was thinking about the direction things are going, where I wanted to talk, what I wanted to talk about, where I'm going.
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What's going on with survivors science.
00:00:42.570 --> 00:00:44.039
And this particular podcast.
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So as a, as you know, if you've listened to lately, you know, I'm transitioning the podcast from the For our podcast.
00:00:51.689 --> 00:00:53.579
To serve over science podcasts.
00:00:53.700 --> 00:00:57.450
I'm not a major change just to kind of a name change.
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It'll be a domain change.
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Everything will forward.
00:00:59.969 --> 00:01:01.920
So old things should go to the new thing.
00:01:02.609 --> 00:01:12.359
And I think over time when I released the logo and put it up, you'll see kind of a transition logo till, till we really get everything under the survivors science brand.
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So probably probably through the end of this year.
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Anyways, because it was Thanksgiving last week and apparently.
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Unbeknownst to me prior to last Monday.
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I was unaware.
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My children would be home all week.
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Apparently that's changed here in Florida.
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Which is exciting for them annoying for me.
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Especially, cause I didn't know.
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I guess I should've looked stupid me.
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I just assumed it was going to be like every other year where kids go to school Monday and Tuesday.
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Maybe a half day, Wednesday before Thanksgiving to allow people to travel.
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But Yeah.
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So, sorry, let me turn my phone on, do not disturb.
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Um anyways, give me a lot of time to think about things.
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Really interesting conversations lately was fellow survivors.
00:02:04.049 --> 00:02:06.930
I've got a good one coming out this Wednesday or Thursday.
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Depending on when everything changes with the podcast name, hopefully Wednesday, maybe Thursday.
00:02:13.740 --> 00:02:15.270
Um, his name is Jason Lopez.
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He's on Tik TOK, Instagram, I think probably a few other platforms, but I, I talked to him recently.
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To record an episode together.
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Really good IX.
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Younger survivor.
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Talked about a little bit, a little bit last week.
00:02:28.409 --> 00:02:33.449
But yeah, I think you know, kind of that conversation got me thinking about a lot of things.
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And in particular for whatever reason.
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In the last couple of days, it just kind of dawned on me.
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There's the, there seems to be a thing.
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I think with survivors, there's two kinds of survivors.
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I'm sure there's more, but it seems like there are those that want to get better and those that don't want to get better.
00:02:51.629 --> 00:02:56.819
And those that are maybe on the road to getting better, you know, there is kind of an in between there.
00:02:57.750 --> 00:03:02.759
But, All that to say, you know, The topic for that.
00:03:02.759 --> 00:03:06.270
I've been thinking about that I want to talk about this week is the ego paradox.
00:03:06.810 --> 00:03:08.639
Because I think it's an important conversation.
00:03:08.729 --> 00:03:10.259
Cause it's it's nuance.
00:03:11.610 --> 00:03:13.319
You go in recovery is like fire.
00:03:13.319 --> 00:03:14.159
It can warm you.
00:03:14.280 --> 00:03:16.770
It can fuel you, or it can burn you down.
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You know, how do you make sure it's working for you?
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Not against you.
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So, you know, today, I thought we'd dive in and talk about that.
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It's a.
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You know, it's been a big thing.
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It's.
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Trying to use it as a tool rather than a trap.
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You know, I've never been the kind of person that wants, you know, I've had days, right.
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I think we all have.
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Where we feel not so great.
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We feel down.
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Biggest fiber is hard.
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It's it's not a club.
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Anybody wants to be a part of honestly.
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I don't think any of us want to be a part of it.
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And if you're not a part of it, you're lucky.
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If you are a part of it, you know how hard it is.
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It doesn't get talked a lot about.
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Survivors are kind of, you know, well taken care of in the beginning for sure.
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Most of us have access to pretty good.
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Initial coverage.
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The problem is, as we always say, is that it's so nuanced.
00:04:14.340 --> 00:04:15.629
It's so specialized.
00:04:15.629 --> 00:04:18.360
It's so individualized, there is no like.
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There's not a plan, right?
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It's not a broken arm.
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It's not a broken finger.
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It's not a broken toe set, even a broken foot.
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It's not any broken bone.
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It's studied in.
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It's unlike any other major medical life event in reality.
00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:39.120
You know, When we think about heart disease and heart surgeries, people who've had those.
00:04:39.120 --> 00:04:39.930
I've had some.
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They're, they're not good.
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There's no guarantees, but they are a little bit more straightforward.
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Doctors and medicine have gotten those to a place where there's okay.
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That's not ideal, but you have to have it.
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You have it?
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You go through the process.
00:04:56.910 --> 00:04:58.620
And again, this is similar to a broken bone.
00:04:58.620 --> 00:04:58.769
It's.
00:04:58.889 --> 00:05:01.050
It's it's fairly straightforward.
00:05:01.079 --> 00:05:01.410
Yes.
00:05:01.410 --> 00:05:02.550
There's always outliers.
00:05:02.579 --> 00:05:02.910
Yes.
00:05:02.939 --> 00:05:04.170
There's complications.
00:05:05.100 --> 00:05:07.560
But for the most part, it's pretty much.
00:05:08.610 --> 00:05:13.350
You get on a path, you start that path and if you follow that path, you'll be better.
00:05:13.350 --> 00:05:14.310
You'll get better.
00:05:14.910 --> 00:05:17.189
You know, strength and all that stuff takes time.
00:05:17.370 --> 00:05:19.920
Very similar to stroke, but like strength it.
00:05:21.060 --> 00:05:22.889
Stroke is a lot longer.
00:05:22.889 --> 00:05:23.759
It's a lot different.
00:05:23.819 --> 00:05:26.819
There are, there are many obstacles overcome.
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There are, it's like a roller coaster that you never wanted to get on.
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It's like ups and downs and.
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All sorts of.
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Things that just.
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You know, But yeah.
00:05:37.589 --> 00:05:44.550
Speaking of ego, you know, When I think about ego, it's kind of the thing that's kept me going kind of motivated me to run, right.
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Because it gave.
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Initially, I just thought, Hey, wouldn't it be funny to be a stroke survivor?
00:05:49.860 --> 00:05:51.870
Who also has Ms.
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Who also runs.
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And it's awkward.
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It was definitely awkward in the beginning, but my ego kind of got me to push through and just try.
00:06:02.670 --> 00:06:09.839
And my ego also serve me in the fact that like in the beginning it was just like, Hey, go down to the mailbox.
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Jog to the mailbox jogged back.
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Then I started pushing myself a little bit more.
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I was like, oh, well, why don't I see if I can go a little bit more?
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Why don't I see if I could do like a lap in a, in the, my neighborhood.
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There's kind of like a loop.
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I did that.
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Then I kept going one more time.
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One more time.
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I left by ego, kind of pushed me through.
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Those difficult things.
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Every time in therapy, you know, I would hear this, that, and the other thing, and I'm like, I'm going to prove you wrong.
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I'm going to be able to do this.
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And I don't think anybody on therapy teams were thinking, I couldn't do it.
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But they were saying it was difficult and you know, I like doing difficult things.
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But there are times that has held me back.
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Particularly asking for help.
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I think I talked about this, um, bill I miss his podcast.
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Recovery after stroke.
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Where I said, asking for help.
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Isn't necessarily the difficult part for me, the difficult part really was asking for help and receiving that help in the manner and with which I was used to and accustomed to.
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Being able to do things myself in the past.
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What does that mean?
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I mean, I used to go a hundred miles an hour.
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Probably part of the reason I had a stroke at 37.
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And Gail.
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I just like to do things quickly, efficiently.
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You know, maybe it's the New York, New Jersey guy in me who knows.
00:07:33.329 --> 00:07:36.660
I mean, I just like to try to get a lot of things done.
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Because I'm super passionate about a lot of things.
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I have a lot of, you know, my bucket is constantly overflowing with things that I want to learn, want to do, want to achieve.
00:07:47.220 --> 00:07:49.319
And frankly, that's not always so great.
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But it's kind of the way I am.
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You know, I move quick.
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I moved fast.
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I break things.
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I learned quickly.
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That's very unique to me.
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You might be very different, but I think, you know, ego does serve a purpose, but also it's held me back in certain times.
00:08:05.490 --> 00:08:12.420
You know, so when we think about the EO paradox, I think about how it became either fuel my relentless recovery or derail it and yours as well.
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Let's break this down.
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When, when ego helps.
00:08:16.019 --> 00:08:17.279
It helps with persistence.
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Ego says I won't give up.
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It helps you push through those plateaus, those moments where you.
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You're not sure if he can.
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The moments of doubt.
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You know, but again, that voice in the back of your head, Motivating you pushing you.
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To get better.
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Cause you know, if you push through and you try and you get better.
00:08:34.529 --> 00:08:35.970
You know, that's how you get through it.
00:08:36.480 --> 00:08:41.340
There is the way you got, I guess you could go around, but really the best way through anything it's to go through it.
00:08:42.690 --> 00:08:46.350
And the faster you learned that the quicker you learn that stroke, there's no magic pill.
00:08:47.460 --> 00:08:53.940
And do you really put effort into things even if they seem insignificant or in concert?
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You know, Insignificant at the time.
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And this progress is slow.
00:08:59.039 --> 00:09:03.539
When you look back, you realize like, oh, I'm glad I put the work in now.
00:09:04.230 --> 00:09:09.659
Because then you will be down the road, you know, down the road in a year saying I wish I did it as sooner often.
00:09:09.659 --> 00:09:12.779
That's happened to me a lot of times it's happened to me many times it's happened to me.
00:09:14.549 --> 00:09:15.870
You know, and that drive is good.
00:09:15.899 --> 00:09:18.690
It's, it's kind of that attitude I'll show them.
00:09:18.779 --> 00:09:23.730
And that mentality is good when you're faced with challenges, when you're having those difficult days, when you're struggling.
00:09:24.450 --> 00:09:25.980
When you want to achieve something.
00:09:26.669 --> 00:09:30.210
You know, when you want to start running as a stroke who are living with Ms.
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And you think.
00:09:31.320 --> 00:09:32.279
Wouldn't it be funny.
00:09:33.509 --> 00:09:35.940
However, on the other side, when do you go hurts?
00:09:35.970 --> 00:09:41.909
You know, This happens a lot to me, there's a vulnerable vulnerability blocker.
00:09:42.629 --> 00:09:44.820
Sometimes you go whispers in my ear, like.
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You don't.
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And you help.
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You're making it harder to ask for help.
00:09:49.110 --> 00:09:51.090
And, you know, that gets in my head.
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I, I struggle with that one.
00:09:54.330 --> 00:09:59.159
It's still something I battle each and every day when I need to ask for help versus trying to do it myself.
00:10:00.029 --> 00:10:00.330
Always.
00:10:01.169 --> 00:10:03.269
You know, always a balance, always a trade off.
00:10:04.860 --> 00:10:08.429
Then I kind of got good at asking for help was so good that I stopped pushing myself.
00:10:08.429 --> 00:10:11.580
So that is, you know, that's a little bit of the conundrum there.
00:10:12.600 --> 00:10:13.710
Another one is emotions.
00:10:13.830 --> 00:10:19.500
Um, Sometimes it buries our fears and frustrations preventing the overall healing.
00:10:19.500 --> 00:10:21.419
I been there done that.
00:10:21.450 --> 00:10:25.259
Um, Ego can really get the best of you sometimes.
00:10:25.289 --> 00:10:27.000
But I think it's all about balance.
00:10:27.000 --> 00:10:27.480
It's about.
00:10:28.409 --> 00:10:32.909
Just like, breathwork just like anything I've ever talked about running everything.
00:10:34.620 --> 00:10:36.120
You know, I didn't start out a great runner.
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I'm still not a great runner, but I'm a lot better.
00:10:39.000 --> 00:10:46.889
And I think, um, you know, Suppressing emotions and pushing them away and down is it's a dangerous thing.
00:10:46.889 --> 00:10:48.389
It's something to be mindful of.
00:10:48.419 --> 00:10:49.679
You don't have to be great about it.
00:10:50.070 --> 00:10:53.490
I don't know what the perfect about it, but it is something to be realistic about.
00:10:54.750 --> 00:10:58.200
Speaking of which unrealistic expectations, you know, I really.
00:10:59.009 --> 00:11:04.980
I go back to when I was first hospitalized and I had they've confirmed, I had a stroke and I said, I'd be better in two or three days.
00:11:06.240 --> 00:11:09.509
Not a bad attitude to have, but also very unrealistic.
00:11:09.539 --> 00:11:12.929
And this is again, somewhere I struggle still to this day.
00:11:13.919 --> 00:11:20.580
Is not recognizing sometimes that I just can't do things the way I used to be able to do them yet.
00:11:22.019 --> 00:11:23.159
I'm a lot better.
00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:27.000
But, you know, kind of like I learned to college.
00:11:27.149 --> 00:11:28.740
Time management was tricky.
00:11:28.769 --> 00:11:30.419
There are these days and I kind of figured out.
00:11:31.500 --> 00:11:37.169
I wouldn't say the first year, but Like year two and three, I's really started to figure out time management in college.
00:11:37.529 --> 00:11:39.149
And again, I was in a five-year program.
00:11:39.149 --> 00:11:39.480
So.
00:11:41.009 --> 00:11:42.720
It was helpful and it really led it.
00:11:42.870 --> 00:11:47.549
It was helpful in college and it wound up being helpful most of my life until I had the stroke.
00:11:49.200 --> 00:11:52.710
So w you know, be careful with those unrealistic expectations.
00:11:52.740 --> 00:11:53.250
You.
00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:56.850
The matter how hard you try, no matter how far you come.
00:11:58.019 --> 00:12:00.809
You're probably not going to be able to do everything.
00:12:01.679 --> 00:12:03.269
At the speed of use to be able to do it.
00:12:03.870 --> 00:12:05.759
And I think this is a common theme.
00:12:05.759 --> 00:12:06.059
I see.
00:12:06.059 --> 00:12:07.169
Amongst stroke survivors.
00:12:07.799 --> 00:12:08.789
It's really interesting.
00:12:08.789 --> 00:12:14.700
Just observing the different groups, different calls, different people in the community over at survivors science in the center.
00:12:15.419 --> 00:12:21.269
All of the various organizations I joined on calls with Sao number of, or the groups out there.
00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:25.409
Um, It does appear.
00:12:25.710 --> 00:12:27.600
And this is unsubstantiated.
00:12:27.659 --> 00:12:31.710
This is kind of just off the top of my head, but a lot of stroke survivors.
00:12:32.250 --> 00:12:32.850
Not so much.
00:12:33.299 --> 00:12:38.039
Well, Yeah, I don't think age really matters, but I see it a lot.
00:12:38.940 --> 00:12:42.000
Stroke survivors that are really determined, driven.
00:12:42.929 --> 00:12:48.750
You know, either achieved a great deal in their career or on the ways it achieving great deal in their career.
00:12:49.230 --> 00:12:51.929
Or even early in their career, they might've been an athlete.
00:12:51.929 --> 00:12:53.700
You know, they wanted a competitive edge.
00:12:54.269 --> 00:12:56.100
Again, you'll hear that story with Jason laid the.
00:12:56.190 --> 00:12:57.809
This week when I release the episode.
00:12:59.970 --> 00:13:03.240
But it's, it's trying to go too hard, too fast.
00:13:03.659 --> 00:13:05.250
Too early and.
00:13:06.450 --> 00:13:08.370
You know, with those unrealistic goals.
00:13:08.700 --> 00:13:11.370
Again, the common theme is that everybody seems really driven.
00:13:12.120 --> 00:13:12.840
So you have to be.
00:13:13.259 --> 00:13:17.070
Careful in your approach to recovery the drive, the relentless.
00:13:17.070 --> 00:13:18.059
This is great.
00:13:18.870 --> 00:13:23.490
But setting goals too high and too fast is dangerous because you'll get frustrated.
00:13:23.490 --> 00:13:24.750
Do you get discouraged?
00:13:25.799 --> 00:13:34.620
And then I'll manifest itself in a lot of ways, whether it's lashing out at other people, your family, your friends, what you don't want to do, if you're a survivor that needs help, wants help.
00:13:35.490 --> 00:13:36.419
Needs that support.
00:13:36.419 --> 00:13:40.110
You certainly want to take care of your caregiving team, your family, your loved ones.
00:13:41.519 --> 00:13:48.000
So it's just, again, I'm not trying to really lecture, I'm trying to help other people understand because it's something I've struggled with.
00:13:48.809 --> 00:13:51.570
Kind of the whole journey thus far and continue to work on.
00:13:53.610 --> 00:13:58.289
But then again, you know, when we think about the relentless recovery, there's, there's kind of a framework.
00:13:58.289 --> 00:14:01.350
And how do you balance the positives of the ego with its risks?
00:14:02.190 --> 00:14:03.990
I don't know that this is a great framework.
00:14:04.019 --> 00:14:09.299
This is just something I sort of put together and thought about it in, in, in preparing for this episode yesterday.
00:14:11.250 --> 00:14:15.389
Number one strategic humility, you know, I think accepting where you're at today.
00:14:16.110 --> 00:14:17.700
Without losing sight of where you want to go.
00:14:17.700 --> 00:14:18.809
That's super important.
00:14:18.899 --> 00:14:23.100
It's, it's hard in the moment, but I think it's a good reminder to be like, okay.
00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:25.559
Today is today.
00:14:25.559 --> 00:14:28.500
What's what's learned from everybody.
00:14:28.649 --> 00:14:38.279
What learn from therapists, learn from caregivers, for people like me, other survivors, whether on Tik TOK, Instagram, Facebook, whatever social media platform has your, your jam.
00:14:38.940 --> 00:14:43.409
Even peers, you can learn from other athletes who have, you know, they maybe haven't had strokes.
00:14:43.409 --> 00:14:45.240
Although I do recommend Tedy Bruschi, his book.
00:14:46.529 --> 00:14:55.230
Um, There's a lot of, there's a lot of opportunities to learn, especially in the early days of stroke recovery, because you probably are limited.
00:14:55.230 --> 00:14:56.370
You may not be working.
00:14:56.669 --> 00:15:00.539
You may have the time to learn from other people's stories of how they became great.
00:15:01.080 --> 00:15:01.950
At what they do.
00:15:02.820 --> 00:15:08.100
You know, I think there's a lot of, a lot of lessons to be learned and, and, and translated into your situation.
00:15:09.149 --> 00:15:15.269
And they might even be something you read and then come back to later on, that's happened many times throughout my recovery journey thus far.
00:15:15.809 --> 00:15:17.580
And I'm sure we'll continue to happen.
00:15:18.929 --> 00:15:23.879
You know so along with strategic humility, you know, productive, pride, celebrate those small wins.
00:15:23.879 --> 00:15:27.389
I know it's conceived blame sometimes depending on who you are and how you feel about that.
00:15:27.389 --> 00:15:27.570
But.
00:15:28.230 --> 00:15:29.519
Progress is progress.
00:15:29.549 --> 00:15:30.870
And again, it's it.
00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:32.490
It's cliche.
00:15:33.000 --> 00:15:33.840
It's annoying.
00:15:34.740 --> 00:15:37.139
But those small wins, the small progressions.
00:15:37.169 --> 00:15:41.399
They really do lay the foundation for continued progress.
00:15:41.429 --> 00:15:45.120
And each time you make a little bit more progress, it motivates you to do more.
00:15:45.720 --> 00:15:47.070
And put more work in.
00:15:47.820 --> 00:15:50.549
And I encourage you to celebrate those small wins.
00:15:50.580 --> 00:15:52.350
You don't have to go out and have a birthday cake.
00:15:52.350 --> 00:15:54.000
You don't have to go out and have a meal just.
00:15:54.570 --> 00:15:55.740
Celebrate it with yourself.
00:15:55.769 --> 00:15:56.549
Appreciate it.
00:15:57.629 --> 00:16:01.409
'cause they start to sack up and they really do start to build that foundation.
00:16:03.210 --> 00:16:06.600
All that to say is, you know, Pride is not about boasting.
00:16:06.629 --> 00:16:09.029
I know it can seem like that symptom is on social media.
00:16:09.029 --> 00:16:10.409
I feel that same thing too.
00:16:10.409 --> 00:16:11.669
It's like, I'm not trying to brag.
00:16:11.700 --> 00:16:12.629
I'm trying to show you, man.
00:16:12.629 --> 00:16:13.289
This was hard.
00:16:14.070 --> 00:16:15.090
Here's where I started.
00:16:15.090 --> 00:16:16.200
Here's where I am today.
00:16:16.230 --> 00:16:17.429
Here's what I achieved.
00:16:17.460 --> 00:16:17.730
Like.
00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:20.789
It's accountability for myself half the time.
00:16:21.779 --> 00:16:25.049
It's to appreciate the moments by stuff you don't have to share on social media.
00:16:25.049 --> 00:16:25.470
I'm just saying.
00:16:25.980 --> 00:16:27.299
These are the kinds of things.
00:16:27.570 --> 00:16:29.879
You know, building that confidence is really.
00:16:31.139 --> 00:16:31.769
Driver.
00:16:31.769 --> 00:16:34.889
Um, but again, that balance that drive comes with balancing.
00:16:34.889 --> 00:16:37.470
You've got to push the boundaries safely, but test your limits.
00:16:38.009 --> 00:16:40.049
Don't ignore the signs of overexertion.
00:16:40.080 --> 00:16:44.850
I've done that many times and it's been costly, not tremendously costly, but still yet costly.
00:16:45.870 --> 00:16:48.840
Overdoing it one day can really set you back a day or two.
00:16:48.929 --> 00:16:51.870
Um, and I've learned that the hard way a few times.
00:16:52.740 --> 00:16:57.059
I think that's why when I started running, I realized like, okay, I don't care about the speed.
00:16:57.059 --> 00:16:57.600
I don't care what.
00:16:57.840 --> 00:17:00.240
The distance or the races or any of that.
00:17:01.919 --> 00:17:04.259
What I could consider typical running stuff.
00:17:04.259 --> 00:17:07.440
Like I just want it to run for me to see what I could do.
00:17:07.440 --> 00:17:10.140
I just want to do one more lap each and every day.
00:17:10.740 --> 00:17:13.170
For me just to see if I could go a little bit further.
00:17:13.980 --> 00:17:17.848
And to be honest, there have been many days where I was just like, okay, you know, today's.
00:17:18.809 --> 00:17:19.588
Good enough.
00:17:19.618 --> 00:17:20.910
Like I did a ton.
00:17:20.940 --> 00:17:22.890
I don't have to do one more today.
00:17:23.549 --> 00:17:27.779
Because I knew if I did one more, it might be pushing me over the edge for the day.
00:17:29.369 --> 00:17:37.019
You know, but again, um, all that to say you do have to balance that all that work and exertion you want to, you really want to be safe.
00:17:37.950 --> 00:17:44.099
And you have to balance that with, am I being too safe with, should I push myself a little further?
00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:51.420
I talked to somebody last week and I can't tell you how many times I've done this, where, you know, I always go back to the AFO.
00:17:51.420 --> 00:17:55.890
Cause I kinda became reliant on the AFL probably longer than I needed to be.
00:17:56.700 --> 00:18:01.230
And I'm still thankful my therapist ripped it out of my shoe one day and just said enough, you don't need this.
00:18:01.230 --> 00:18:01.529
Like.
00:18:02.519 --> 00:18:05.339
If you just keep using it, you're going to be come relying on it.
00:18:05.339 --> 00:18:11.009
You already are pretty reliant on it and it may just cause more good than harm or more harm than good.
00:18:12.390 --> 00:18:13.079
And she was right.
00:18:13.109 --> 00:18:17.759
And it's hard because you take that out and you immediately start working, walking crappier.
00:18:18.869 --> 00:18:19.470
However.
00:18:20.490 --> 00:18:21.420
That's short term.
00:18:21.809 --> 00:18:22.769
Longer-term.
00:18:23.670 --> 00:18:24.630
I don't need the AFO.
00:18:24.630 --> 00:18:25.829
I don't want the AFO.
00:18:26.009 --> 00:18:29.220
I'm really glad I don't have the AFO anymore.
00:18:29.279 --> 00:18:30.000
It is.
00:18:30.930 --> 00:18:34.619
It's there if I need it, but I don't need it, but it wasn't easy.
00:18:34.619 --> 00:18:40.049
It did take work to go from walking pretty good with the AFO to then taking the AFL out.
00:18:40.769 --> 00:18:43.019
Which for those that don't know is an ankle foot orthotic.
00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:47.789
Um, You know, It was tough in the beginning because.
00:18:48.359 --> 00:18:49.410
That was helpful.
00:18:49.470 --> 00:18:51.779
And then my walking got worse, taking it away.
00:18:52.650 --> 00:18:56.309
But it was again temporary and over time, my walking got a lot better.
00:18:56.369 --> 00:18:56.819
Obviously.
00:18:56.819 --> 00:18:57.839
Now I can run.
00:18:59.490 --> 00:19:04.049
You know, there, there were a lot more things to the story for me because I had some other things going on.
00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:08.910
So it's really hard to tell exactly, but I just, I think there are things you can get real.
00:19:08.970 --> 00:19:10.950
You can be overly safe.
00:19:12.150 --> 00:19:17.279
Which is a good thing, but also just be wary that you can honestly be too safe.
00:19:17.279 --> 00:19:19.349
Sometimes if you don't push a little bit.
00:19:20.130 --> 00:19:23.700
And if you're really concerned about your safety, like put all the systems.
00:19:24.329 --> 00:19:25.799
People in place to help you.
00:19:25.799 --> 00:19:29.069
I achieve that next thing, whatever it is, you know?
00:19:29.460 --> 00:19:33.089
Whether it's mats on the floor and you want to walk or you want to run like.
00:19:34.410 --> 00:19:35.460
Um, I'm guessing most.
00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:37.829
Stroke survivors out there are not 6 48.
00:19:38.670 --> 00:19:43.859
There's a lot of equipment, you know, talk to your physical therapist, talk to your doctors, see, Hey, I want to try this.
00:19:44.369 --> 00:19:45.539
But I want to do it safe.
00:19:45.660 --> 00:19:46.710
What do you suggest?
00:19:46.710 --> 00:19:49.799
What can I do to try to do this safely so I can begin.
00:19:50.759 --> 00:19:52.470
To do something like, say start running.
00:19:52.589 --> 00:19:55.829
You know, I stupidly just, I mean, I think I was pretty good at the time.
00:19:55.859 --> 00:19:57.059
By the time I started running.
00:19:58.500 --> 00:19:59.789
I was walking very well.
00:19:59.819 --> 00:20:02.819
And I was surprised I was able to run so well.
00:20:03.809 --> 00:20:06.509
I mean, again, it was awkward, but it was, it was safe.
00:20:08.279 --> 00:20:09.539
So, yeah, it's all about balance.
00:20:10.049 --> 00:20:10.799
That's it.
00:20:11.069 --> 00:20:12.779
It's about keeping the ego in check.
00:20:12.930 --> 00:20:16.170
Um, I have a lot more on this, so I think I'll save it probably for.
00:20:16.619 --> 00:20:21.390
Later in the week when we wrap up again, I'll have an episode out on Wednesday with Jason Lopes.
00:20:21.420 --> 00:20:22.859
That'll be a great episode.
00:20:23.880 --> 00:20:25.769
Just a couple last things to reflect on.
00:20:26.819 --> 00:20:28.650
Things to ask yourself each and every day.
00:20:29.430 --> 00:20:36.809
You know, when, when you're going through it, whether you're working out, whether it's training, whether you're at the computer, whether you're trying to push yourself as some sort of way as a stroke survivor.
00:20:37.769 --> 00:20:41.369
So key questions, ask yourself, is my ego helping or hurting right now?
00:20:41.400 --> 00:20:43.470
What can I, what can I learn today?
00:20:43.859 --> 00:20:46.559
From everything I'm going through, where do I need help?
00:20:46.589 --> 00:20:48.000
Who do, who can I ask?
00:20:48.299 --> 00:20:50.130
How do I want to ask for help?
00:20:50.640 --> 00:20:52.019
And what's the next small win.
00:20:52.950 --> 00:20:54.869
Again lots more to talk about.
00:20:55.440 --> 00:20:56.220
Wrapping up though.
00:20:56.220 --> 00:20:58.559
I challenged everybody to do.
00:20:58.559 --> 00:21:03.299
I really identify one area where you might be holding you back and I'm going to do this too.
00:21:03.299 --> 00:21:04.859
And we'll see where we end up on Friday.
00:21:05.640 --> 00:21:07.319
But where's my ego holding me back.
00:21:07.829 --> 00:21:10.529
And what's one small action that could take to address it.
00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:15.960
Maybe even one step further is how can I really put that into the overall plan?
00:21:17.880 --> 00:21:23.069
So yeah, again, I invite you to think about that chair that you can hit me up on social media.
00:21:23.069 --> 00:21:25.109
You can hit me up on, on, right on the podcasts.
00:21:25.109 --> 00:21:28.440
I think on every platform there's a, you can text the podcast if you want.
00:21:29.640 --> 00:21:35.309
Definitely feel free to send me for send me an email, hit me up on the website, survivors science.com.
00:21:36.269 --> 00:21:40.140
And again, remember ego could be your engine or your anchor.
00:21:40.140 --> 00:21:41.400
It's all in how you use it.
00:21:41.400 --> 00:21:43.859
I think it definitely has positive effects.
00:21:43.859 --> 00:21:44.130
So.
00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:46.650
Really fired up about this topic.
00:21:46.680 --> 00:21:46.769
A.
00:21:47.039 --> 00:21:54.269
Again, I'll be back on Wednesday with lots more with the episode with Jason, and then I'll see again on Friday, but I hope everybody has a good start to the holiday week.
00:21:54.599 --> 00:21:57.599
Or the holiday season rather hope you had a great Thanksgiving and.
00:21:57.930 --> 00:21:58.950
Yeah, we'll chat soon.
00:21:58.950 --> 00:21:59.519
Bye.
00:00:06.209 --> 00:00:08.820
And welcome back to another survivor science soundbite.
00:00:09.269 --> 00:00:12.000
I hope you had an enjoyable Thanksgiving weekend.
00:00:12.359 --> 00:00:12.839
Last week.
00:00:12.869 --> 00:00:15.269
I know I did not leave release a full episode.
00:00:15.269 --> 00:00:17.969
I did two smaller soundbite episodes.
00:00:19.140 --> 00:00:22.769
Playing a little bit of catch-up after the Thanksgiving weekend here in the states.
00:00:23.370 --> 00:00:24.480
Hope you're doing well.
00:00:24.480 --> 00:00:25.199
I am a.
00:00:25.440 --> 00:00:28.079
A little bit tired, just fresh out of the gym this morning.
00:00:29.339 --> 00:00:30.300
So this week.
00:00:30.420 --> 00:00:33.359
I, you know, over the holiday, I was thinking about a lot of things.
00:00:33.390 --> 00:00:39.060
I was thinking about the direction things are going, where I wanted to talk, what I wanted to talk about, where I'm going.
00:00:40.229 --> 00:00:41.969
What's going on with survivors science.
00:00:42.570 --> 00:00:44.039
And this particular podcast.
00:00:44.039 --> 00:00:50.670
So as a, as you know, if you've listened to lately, you know, I'm transitioning the podcast from the For our podcast.
00:00:51.689 --> 00:00:53.579
To serve over science podcasts.
00:00:53.700 --> 00:00:57.450
I'm not a major change just to kind of a name change.
00:00:57.450 --> 00:00:58.649
It'll be a domain change.
00:00:58.649 --> 00:00:59.700
Everything will forward.
00:00:59.969 --> 00:01:01.920
So old things should go to the new thing.
00:01:02.609 --> 00:01:12.359
And I think over time when I released the logo and put it up, you'll see kind of a transition logo till, till we really get everything under the survivors science brand.
00:01:13.109 --> 00:01:15.359
So probably probably through the end of this year.
00:01:17.189 --> 00:01:21.180
Anyways, because it was Thanksgiving last week and apparently.
00:01:21.900 --> 00:01:24.180
Unbeknownst to me prior to last Monday.
00:01:24.870 --> 00:01:25.769
I was unaware.
00:01:25.799 --> 00:01:27.599
My children would be home all week.
00:01:28.950 --> 00:01:30.719
Apparently that's changed here in Florida.
00:01:31.439 --> 00:01:34.019
Which is exciting for them annoying for me.
00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:35.700
Especially, cause I didn't know.
00:01:36.599 --> 00:01:39.120
I guess I should've looked stupid me.
00:01:39.120 --> 00:01:44.099
I just assumed it was going to be like every other year where kids go to school Monday and Tuesday.
00:01:44.730 --> 00:01:48.870
Maybe a half day, Wednesday before Thanksgiving to allow people to travel.
00:01:49.709 --> 00:01:51.359
But Yeah.
00:01:51.420 --> 00:01:55.109
So, sorry, let me turn my phone on, do not disturb.
00:01:55.560 --> 00:01:59.040
Um anyways, give me a lot of time to think about things.
00:01:59.939 --> 00:02:03.209
Really interesting conversations lately was fellow survivors.
00:02:04.049 --> 00:02:06.930
I've got a good one coming out this Wednesday or Thursday.
00:02:07.859 --> 00:02:13.080
Depending on when everything changes with the podcast name, hopefully Wednesday, maybe Thursday.
00:02:13.740 --> 00:02:15.270
Um, his name is Jason Lopez.
00:02:15.300 --> 00:02:20.250
He's on Tik TOK, Instagram, I think probably a few other platforms, but I, I talked to him recently.
00:02:20.789 --> 00:02:22.080
To record an episode together.
00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:23.370
Really good IX.
00:02:23.520 --> 00:02:24.689
Younger survivor.
00:02:25.199 --> 00:02:27.180
Talked about a little bit, a little bit last week.
00:02:28.409 --> 00:02:33.449
But yeah, I think you know, kind of that conversation got me thinking about a lot of things.
00:02:34.379 --> 00:02:36.389
And in particular for whatever reason.
00:02:37.020 --> 00:02:39.599
In the last couple of days, it just kind of dawned on me.
00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:42.300
There's the, there seems to be a thing.
00:02:42.330 --> 00:02:45.270
I think with survivors, there's two kinds of survivors.
00:02:45.300 --> 00:02:50.610
I'm sure there's more, but it seems like there are those that want to get better and those that don't want to get better.
00:02:51.629 --> 00:02:56.819
And those that are maybe on the road to getting better, you know, there is kind of an in between there.
00:02:57.750 --> 00:03:02.759
But, All that to say, you know, The topic for that.
00:03:02.759 --> 00:03:06.270
I've been thinking about that I want to talk about this week is the ego paradox.
00:03:06.810 --> 00:03:08.639
Because I think it's an important conversation.
00:03:08.729 --> 00:03:10.259
Cause it's it's nuance.
00:03:11.610 --> 00:03:13.319
You go in recovery is like fire.
00:03:13.319 --> 00:03:14.159
It can warm you.
00:03:14.280 --> 00:03:16.770
It can fuel you, or it can burn you down.
00:03:17.610 --> 00:03:19.919
You know, how do you make sure it's working for you?
00:03:20.159 --> 00:03:21.240
Not against you.
00:03:21.900 --> 00:03:24.629
So, you know, today, I thought we'd dive in and talk about that.
00:03:24.629 --> 00:03:25.169
It's a.
00:03:26.969 --> 00:03:27.960
You know, it's been a big thing.
00:03:27.960 --> 00:03:28.139
It's.
00:03:28.770 --> 00:03:31.740
Trying to use it as a tool rather than a trap.
00:03:32.280 --> 00:03:37.590
You know, I've never been the kind of person that wants, you know, I've had days, right.
00:03:38.580 --> 00:03:39.659
I think we all have.
00:03:40.590 --> 00:03:42.090
Where we feel not so great.
00:03:42.120 --> 00:03:43.199
We feel down.
00:03:43.889 --> 00:03:45.120
Biggest fiber is hard.
00:03:45.120 --> 00:03:47.039
It's it's not a club.
00:03:47.069 --> 00:03:49.469
Anybody wants to be a part of honestly.
00:03:49.889 --> 00:03:52.050
I don't think any of us want to be a part of it.
00:03:52.110 --> 00:03:53.939
And if you're not a part of it, you're lucky.
00:03:54.509 --> 00:03:56.789
If you are a part of it, you know how hard it is.
00:03:57.689 --> 00:03:59.189
It doesn't get talked a lot about.
00:04:00.240 --> 00:04:04.560
Survivors are kind of, you know, well taken care of in the beginning for sure.
00:04:05.159 --> 00:04:07.710
Most of us have access to pretty good.
00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:09.659
Initial coverage.
00:04:10.919 --> 00:04:14.340
The problem is, as we always say, is that it's so nuanced.
00:04:14.340 --> 00:04:15.629
It's so specialized.
00:04:15.629 --> 00:04:18.360
It's so individualized, there is no like.
00:04:19.379 --> 00:04:20.550
There's not a plan, right?
00:04:20.579 --> 00:04:21.660
It's not a broken arm.
00:04:21.660 --> 00:04:22.800
It's not a broken finger.
00:04:22.800 --> 00:04:25.170
It's not a broken toe set, even a broken foot.
00:04:25.199 --> 00:04:26.550
It's not any broken bone.
00:04:27.509 --> 00:04:28.350
It's studied in.
00:04:29.040 --> 00:04:33.569
It's unlike any other major medical life event in reality.
00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:39.120
You know, When we think about heart disease and heart surgeries, people who've had those.
00:04:39.120 --> 00:04:39.930
I've had some.
00:04:40.860 --> 00:04:42.420
They're, they're not good.
00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:45.839
There's no guarantees, but they are a little bit more straightforward.
00:04:45.870 --> 00:04:50.009
Doctors and medicine have gotten those to a place where there's okay.
00:04:50.009 --> 00:04:52.290
That's not ideal, but you have to have it.
00:04:52.949 --> 00:04:53.639
You have it?
00:04:55.439 --> 00:04:56.879
You go through the process.
00:04:56.910 --> 00:04:58.620
And again, this is similar to a broken bone.
00:04:58.620 --> 00:04:58.769
It's.
00:04:58.889 --> 00:05:01.050
It's it's fairly straightforward.
00:05:01.079 --> 00:05:01.410
Yes.
00:05:01.410 --> 00:05:02.550
There's always outliers.
00:05:02.579 --> 00:05:02.910
Yes.
00:05:02.939 --> 00:05:04.170
There's complications.
00:05:05.100 --> 00:05:07.560
But for the most part, it's pretty much.
00:05:08.610 --> 00:05:13.350
You get on a path, you start that path and if you follow that path, you'll be better.
00:05:13.350 --> 00:05:14.310
You'll get better.
00:05:14.910 --> 00:05:17.189
You know, strength and all that stuff takes time.
00:05:17.370 --> 00:05:19.920
Very similar to stroke, but like strength it.
00:05:21.060 --> 00:05:22.889
Stroke is a lot longer.
00:05:22.889 --> 00:05:23.759
It's a lot different.
00:05:23.819 --> 00:05:26.819
There are, there are many obstacles overcome.
00:05:26.850 --> 00:05:29.639
There are, it's like a roller coaster that you never wanted to get on.
00:05:29.670 --> 00:05:31.019
It's like ups and downs and.
00:05:31.860 --> 00:05:32.759
All sorts of.
00:05:33.300 --> 00:05:34.379
Things that just.
00:05:35.430 --> 00:05:37.259
You know, But yeah.
00:05:37.589 --> 00:05:44.550
Speaking of ego, you know, When I think about ego, it's kind of the thing that's kept me going kind of motivated me to run, right.
00:05:44.550 --> 00:05:45.209
Because it gave.
00:05:46.709 --> 00:05:49.829
Initially, I just thought, Hey, wouldn't it be funny to be a stroke survivor?
00:05:49.860 --> 00:05:51.870
Who also has Ms.
00:05:51.870 --> 00:05:53.009
Who also runs.
00:05:53.970 --> 00:05:54.839
And it's awkward.
00:05:54.839 --> 00:06:00.600
It was definitely awkward in the beginning, but my ego kind of got me to push through and just try.
00:06:02.670 --> 00:06:09.839
And my ego also serve me in the fact that like in the beginning it was just like, Hey, go down to the mailbox.
00:06:10.290 --> 00:06:12.480
Jog to the mailbox jogged back.
00:06:13.649 --> 00:06:15.720
Then I started pushing myself a little bit more.
00:06:15.720 --> 00:06:18.240
I was like, oh, well, why don't I see if I can go a little bit more?
00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:21.629
Why don't I see if I could do like a lap in a, in the, my neighborhood.
00:06:21.629 --> 00:06:22.589
There's kind of like a loop.
00:06:24.269 --> 00:06:25.019
I did that.
00:06:26.490 --> 00:06:28.139
Then I kept going one more time.
00:06:28.259 --> 00:06:28.920
One more time.
00:06:28.920 --> 00:06:31.500
I left by ego, kind of pushed me through.
00:06:32.339 --> 00:06:33.480
Those difficult things.
00:06:33.509 --> 00:06:38.459
Every time in therapy, you know, I would hear this, that, and the other thing, and I'm like, I'm going to prove you wrong.
00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:40.350
I'm going to be able to do this.
00:06:40.410 --> 00:06:44.310
And I don't think anybody on therapy teams were thinking, I couldn't do it.
00:06:45.480 --> 00:06:49.170
But they were saying it was difficult and you know, I like doing difficult things.
00:06:50.009 --> 00:06:52.170
But there are times that has held me back.
00:06:53.250 --> 00:06:55.050
Particularly asking for help.
00:06:55.079 --> 00:06:57.959
I think I talked about this, um, bill I miss his podcast.
00:06:58.470 --> 00:06:59.550
Recovery after stroke.
00:07:00.600 --> 00:07:02.069
Where I said, asking for help.
00:07:02.339 --> 00:07:12.420
Isn't necessarily the difficult part for me, the difficult part really was asking for help and receiving that help in the manner and with which I was used to and accustomed to.
00:07:13.290 --> 00:07:16.199
Being able to do things myself in the past.
00:07:16.560 --> 00:07:17.310
What does that mean?
00:07:17.399 --> 00:07:20.670
I mean, I used to go a hundred miles an hour.
00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:23.850
Probably part of the reason I had a stroke at 37.
00:07:24.600 --> 00:07:25.019
And Gail.
00:07:25.829 --> 00:07:28.410
I just like to do things quickly, efficiently.
00:07:29.459 --> 00:07:33.300
You know, maybe it's the New York, New Jersey guy in me who knows.
00:07:33.329 --> 00:07:36.660
I mean, I just like to try to get a lot of things done.
00:07:38.129 --> 00:07:40.290
Because I'm super passionate about a lot of things.
00:07:40.290 --> 00:07:46.290
I have a lot of, you know, my bucket is constantly overflowing with things that I want to learn, want to do, want to achieve.
00:07:47.220 --> 00:07:49.319
And frankly, that's not always so great.
00:07:50.339 --> 00:07:51.689
But it's kind of the way I am.
00:07:52.019 --> 00:07:52.980
You know, I move quick.
00:07:52.980 --> 00:07:53.579
I moved fast.
00:07:53.579 --> 00:07:54.209
I break things.
00:07:54.209 --> 00:07:55.079
I learned quickly.
00:07:56.160 --> 00:07:57.449
That's very unique to me.
00:07:57.569 --> 00:08:03.990
You might be very different, but I think, you know, ego does serve a purpose, but also it's held me back in certain times.
00:08:05.490 --> 00:08:12.420
You know, so when we think about the EO paradox, I think about how it became either fuel my relentless recovery or derail it and yours as well.
00:08:13.230 --> 00:08:14.129
Let's break this down.
00:08:14.129 --> 00:08:15.420
When, when ego helps.
00:08:16.019 --> 00:08:17.279
It helps with persistence.
00:08:17.310 --> 00:08:18.779
Ego says I won't give up.
00:08:19.439 --> 00:08:22.529
It helps you push through those plateaus, those moments where you.
00:08:23.129 --> 00:08:24.149
You're not sure if he can.
00:08:24.180 --> 00:08:25.139
The moments of doubt.
00:08:25.800 --> 00:08:30.000
You know, but again, that voice in the back of your head, Motivating you pushing you.
00:08:30.569 --> 00:08:31.199
To get better.
00:08:31.199 --> 00:08:33.779
Cause you know, if you push through and you try and you get better.
00:08:34.529 --> 00:08:35.970
You know, that's how you get through it.
00:08:36.480 --> 00:08:41.340
There is the way you got, I guess you could go around, but really the best way through anything it's to go through it.
00:08:42.690 --> 00:08:46.350
And the faster you learned that the quicker you learn that stroke, there's no magic pill.
00:08:47.460 --> 00:08:53.940
And do you really put effort into things even if they seem insignificant or in concert?
00:08:54.210 --> 00:08:56.820
You know, Insignificant at the time.
00:08:56.820 --> 00:08:58.500
And this progress is slow.
00:08:59.039 --> 00:09:03.539
When you look back, you realize like, oh, I'm glad I put the work in now.
00:09:04.230 --> 00:09:09.659
Because then you will be down the road, you know, down the road in a year saying I wish I did it as sooner often.
00:09:09.659 --> 00:09:12.779
That's happened to me a lot of times it's happened to me many times it's happened to me.
00:09:14.549 --> 00:09:15.870
You know, and that drive is good.
00:09:15.899 --> 00:09:18.690
It's, it's kind of that attitude I'll show them.
00:09:18.779 --> 00:09:23.730
And that mentality is good when you're faced with challenges, when you're having those difficult days, when you're struggling.
00:09:24.450 --> 00:09:25.980
When you want to achieve something.
00:09:26.669 --> 00:09:30.210
You know, when you want to start running as a stroke who are living with Ms.
00:09:30.210 --> 00:09:30.750
And you think.
00:09:31.320 --> 00:09:32.279
Wouldn't it be funny.
00:09:33.509 --> 00:09:35.940
However, on the other side, when do you go hurts?
00:09:35.970 --> 00:09:41.909
You know, This happens a lot to me, there's a vulnerable vulnerability blocker.
00:09:42.629 --> 00:09:44.820
Sometimes you go whispers in my ear, like.
00:09:45.629 --> 00:09:45.899
You don't.
00:09:45.899 --> 00:09:46.470
And you help.
00:09:46.559 --> 00:09:48.149
You're making it harder to ask for help.
00:09:49.110 --> 00:09:51.090
And, you know, that gets in my head.
00:09:51.120 --> 00:09:53.340
I, I struggle with that one.
00:09:54.330 --> 00:09:59.159
It's still something I battle each and every day when I need to ask for help versus trying to do it myself.
00:10:00.029 --> 00:10:00.330
Always.
00:10:01.169 --> 00:10:03.269
You know, always a balance, always a trade off.
00:10:04.860 --> 00:10:08.429
Then I kind of got good at asking for help was so good that I stopped pushing myself.
00:10:08.429 --> 00:10:11.580
So that is, you know, that's a little bit of the conundrum there.
00:10:12.600 --> 00:10:13.710
Another one is emotions.
00:10:13.830 --> 00:10:19.500
Um, Sometimes it buries our fears and frustrations preventing the overall healing.
00:10:19.500 --> 00:10:21.419
I been there done that.
00:10:21.450 --> 00:10:25.259
Um, Ego can really get the best of you sometimes.
00:10:25.289 --> 00:10:27.000
But I think it's all about balance.
00:10:27.000 --> 00:10:27.480
It's about.
00:10:28.409 --> 00:10:32.909
Just like, breathwork just like anything I've ever talked about running everything.
00:10:34.620 --> 00:10:36.120
You know, I didn't start out a great runner.
00:10:36.120 --> 00:10:38.940
I'm still not a great runner, but I'm a lot better.
00:10:39.000 --> 00:10:46.889
And I think, um, you know, Suppressing emotions and pushing them away and down is it's a dangerous thing.
00:10:46.889 --> 00:10:48.389
It's something to be mindful of.
00:10:48.419 --> 00:10:49.679
You don't have to be great about it.
00:10:50.070 --> 00:10:53.490
I don't know what the perfect about it, but it is something to be realistic about.
00:10:54.750 --> 00:10:58.200
Speaking of which unrealistic expectations, you know, I really.
00:10:59.009 --> 00:11:04.980
I go back to when I was first hospitalized and I had they've confirmed, I had a stroke and I said, I'd be better in two or three days.
00:11:06.240 --> 00:11:09.509
Not a bad attitude to have, but also very unrealistic.
00:11:09.539 --> 00:11:12.929
And this is again, somewhere I struggle still to this day.
00:11:13.919 --> 00:11:20.580
Is not recognizing sometimes that I just can't do things the way I used to be able to do them yet.
00:11:22.019 --> 00:11:23.159
I'm a lot better.
00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:27.000
But, you know, kind of like I learned to college.
00:11:27.149 --> 00:11:28.740
Time management was tricky.
00:11:28.769 --> 00:11:30.419
There are these days and I kind of figured out.
00:11:31.500 --> 00:11:37.169
I wouldn't say the first year, but Like year two and three, I's really started to figure out time management in college.
00:11:37.529 --> 00:11:39.149
And again, I was in a five-year program.
00:11:39.149 --> 00:11:39.480
So.
00:11:41.009 --> 00:11:42.720
It was helpful and it really led it.
00:11:42.870 --> 00:11:47.549
It was helpful in college and it wound up being helpful most of my life until I had the stroke.
00:11:49.200 --> 00:11:52.710
So w you know, be careful with those unrealistic expectations.
00:11:52.740 --> 00:11:53.250
You.
00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:56.850
The matter how hard you try, no matter how far you come.
00:11:58.019 --> 00:12:00.809
You're probably not going to be able to do everything.
00:12:01.679 --> 00:12:03.269
At the speed of use to be able to do it.
00:12:03.870 --> 00:12:05.759
And I think this is a common theme.
00:12:05.759 --> 00:12:06.059
I see.
00:12:06.059 --> 00:12:07.169
Amongst stroke survivors.
00:12:07.799 --> 00:12:08.789
It's really interesting.
00:12:08.789 --> 00:12:14.700
Just observing the different groups, different calls, different people in the community over at survivors science in the center.
00:12:15.419 --> 00:12:21.269
All of the various organizations I joined on calls with Sao number of, or the groups out there.
00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:25.409
Um, It does appear.
00:12:25.710 --> 00:12:27.600
And this is unsubstantiated.
00:12:27.659 --> 00:12:31.710
This is kind of just off the top of my head, but a lot of stroke survivors.
00:12:32.250 --> 00:12:32.850
Not so much.
00:12:33.299 --> 00:12:38.039
Well, Yeah, I don't think age really matters, but I see it a lot.
00:12:38.940 --> 00:12:42.000
Stroke survivors that are really determined, driven.
00:12:42.929 --> 00:12:48.750
You know, either achieved a great deal in their career or on the ways it achieving great deal in their career.
00:12:49.230 --> 00:12:51.929
Or even early in their career, they might've been an athlete.
00:12:51.929 --> 00:12:53.700
You know, they wanted a competitive edge.
00:12:54.269 --> 00:12:56.100
Again, you'll hear that story with Jason laid the.
00:12:56.190 --> 00:12:57.809
This week when I release the episode.
00:12:59.970 --> 00:13:03.240
But it's, it's trying to go too hard, too fast.
00:13:03.659 --> 00:13:05.250
Too early and.
00:13:06.450 --> 00:13:08.370
You know, with those unrealistic goals.
00:13:08.700 --> 00:13:11.370
Again, the common theme is that everybody seems really driven.
00:13:12.120 --> 00:13:12.840
So you have to be.
00:13:13.259 --> 00:13:17.070
Careful in your approach to recovery the drive, the relentless.
00:13:17.070 --> 00:13:18.059
This is great.
00:13:18.870 --> 00:13:23.490
But setting goals too high and too fast is dangerous because you'll get frustrated.
00:13:23.490 --> 00:13:24.750
Do you get discouraged?
00:13:25.799 --> 00:13:34.620
And then I'll manifest itself in a lot of ways, whether it's lashing out at other people, your family, your friends, what you don't want to do, if you're a survivor that needs help, wants help.
00:13:35.490 --> 00:13:36.419
Needs that support.
00:13:36.419 --> 00:13:40.110
You certainly want to take care of your caregiving team, your family, your loved ones.
00:13:41.519 --> 00:13:48.000
So it's just, again, I'm not trying to really lecture, I'm trying to help other people understand because it's something I've struggled with.
00:13:48.809 --> 00:13:51.570
Kind of the whole journey thus far and continue to work on.
00:13:53.610 --> 00:13:58.289
But then again, you know, when we think about the relentless recovery, there's, there's kind of a framework.
00:13:58.289 --> 00:14:01.350
And how do you balance the positives of the ego with its risks?
00:14:02.190 --> 00:14:03.990
I don't know that this is a great framework.
00:14:04.019 --> 00:14:09.299
This is just something I sort of put together and thought about it in, in, in preparing for this episode yesterday.
00:14:11.250 --> 00:14:15.389
Number one strategic humility, you know, I think accepting where you're at today.
00:14:16.110 --> 00:14:17.700
Without losing sight of where you want to go.
00:14:17.700 --> 00:14:18.809
That's super important.
00:14:18.899 --> 00:14:23.100
It's, it's hard in the moment, but I think it's a good reminder to be like, okay.
00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:25.559
Today is today.
00:14:25.559 --> 00:14:28.500
What's what's learned from everybody.
00:14:28.649 --> 00:14:38.279
What learn from therapists, learn from caregivers, for people like me, other survivors, whether on Tik TOK, Instagram, Facebook, whatever social media platform has your, your jam.
00:14:38.940 --> 00:14:43.409
Even peers, you can learn from other athletes who have, you know, they maybe haven't had strokes.
00:14:43.409 --> 00:14:45.240
Although I do recommend Tedy Bruschi, his book.
00:14:46.529 --> 00:14:55.230
Um, There's a lot of, there's a lot of opportunities to learn, especially in the early days of stroke recovery, because you probably are limited.
00:14:55.230 --> 00:14:56.370
You may not be working.
00:14:56.669 --> 00:15:00.539
You may have the time to learn from other people's stories of how they became great.
00:15:01.080 --> 00:15:01.950
At what they do.
00:15:02.820 --> 00:15:08.100
You know, I think there's a lot of, a lot of lessons to be learned and, and, and translated into your situation.
00:15:09.149 --> 00:15:15.269
And they might even be something you read and then come back to later on, that's happened many times throughout my recovery journey thus far.
00:15:15.809 --> 00:15:17.580
And I'm sure we'll continue to happen.
00:15:18.929 --> 00:15:23.879
You know so along with strategic humility, you know, productive, pride, celebrate those small wins.
00:15:23.879 --> 00:15:27.389
I know it's conceived blame sometimes depending on who you are and how you feel about that.
00:15:27.389 --> 00:15:27.570
But.
00:15:28.230 --> 00:15:29.519
Progress is progress.
00:15:29.549 --> 00:15:30.870
And again, it's it.
00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:32.490
It's cliche.
00:15:33.000 --> 00:15:33.840
It's annoying.
00:15:34.740 --> 00:15:37.139
But those small wins, the small progressions.
00:15:37.169 --> 00:15:41.399
They really do lay the foundation for continued progress.
00:15:41.429 --> 00:15:45.120
And each time you make a little bit more progress, it motivates you to do more.
00:15:45.720 --> 00:15:47.070
And put more work in.
00:15:47.820 --> 00:15:50.549
And I encourage you to celebrate those small wins.
00:15:50.580 --> 00:15:52.350
You don't have to go out and have a birthday cake.
00:15:52.350 --> 00:15:54.000
You don't have to go out and have a meal just.
00:15:54.570 --> 00:15:55.740
Celebrate it with yourself.
00:15:55.769 --> 00:15:56.549
Appreciate it.
00:15:57.629 --> 00:16:01.409
'cause they start to sack up and they really do start to build that foundation.
00:16:03.210 --> 00:16:06.600
All that to say is, you know, Pride is not about boasting.
00:16:06.629 --> 00:16:09.029
I know it can seem like that symptom is on social media.
00:16:09.029 --> 00:16:10.409
I feel that same thing too.
00:16:10.409 --> 00:16:11.669
It's like, I'm not trying to brag.
00:16:11.700 --> 00:16:12.629
I'm trying to show you, man.
00:16:12.629 --> 00:16:13.289
This was hard.
00:16:14.070 --> 00:16:15.090
Here's where I started.
00:16:15.090 --> 00:16:16.200
Here's where I am today.
00:16:16.230 --> 00:16:17.429
Here's what I achieved.
00:16:17.460 --> 00:16:17.730
Like.
00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:20.789
It's accountability for myself half the time.
00:16:21.779 --> 00:16:25.049
It's to appreciate the moments by stuff you don't have to share on social media.
00:16:25.049 --> 00:16:25.470
I'm just saying.
00:16:25.980 --> 00:16:27.299
These are the kinds of things.
00:16:27.570 --> 00:16:29.879
You know, building that confidence is really.
00:16:31.139 --> 00:16:31.769
Driver.
00:16:31.769 --> 00:16:34.889
Um, but again, that balance that drive comes with balancing.
00:16:34.889 --> 00:16:37.470
You've got to push the boundaries safely, but test your limits.
00:16:38.009 --> 00:16:40.049
Don't ignore the signs of overexertion.
00:16:40.080 --> 00:16:44.850
I've done that many times and it's been costly, not tremendously costly, but still yet costly.
00:16:45.870 --> 00:16:48.840
Overdoing it one day can really set you back a day or two.
00:16:48.929 --> 00:16:51.870
Um, and I've learned that the hard way a few times.
00:16:52.740 --> 00:16:57.059
I think that's why when I started running, I realized like, okay, I don't care about the speed.
00:16:57.059 --> 00:16:57.600
I don't care what.
00:16:57.840 --> 00:17:00.240
The distance or the races or any of that.
00:17:01.919 --> 00:17:04.259
What I could consider typical running stuff.
00:17:04.259 --> 00:17:07.440
Like I just want it to run for me to see what I could do.
00:17:07.440 --> 00:17:10.140
I just want to do one more lap each and every day.
00:17:10.740 --> 00:17:13.170
For me just to see if I could go a little bit further.
00:17:13.980 --> 00:17:17.848
And to be honest, there have been many days where I was just like, okay, you know, today's.
00:17:18.809 --> 00:17:19.588
Good enough.
00:17:19.618 --> 00:17:20.910
Like I did a ton.
00:17:20.940 --> 00:17:22.890
I don't have to do one more today.
00:17:23.549 --> 00:17:27.779
Because I knew if I did one more, it might be pushing me over the edge for the day.
00:17:29.369 --> 00:17:37.019
You know, but again, um, all that to say you do have to balance that all that work and exertion you want to, you really want to be safe.
00:17:37.950 --> 00:17:44.099
And you have to balance that with, am I being too safe with, should I push myself a little further?
00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:51.420
I talked to somebody last week and I can't tell you how many times I've done this, where, you know, I always go back to the AFO.
00:17:51.420 --> 00:17:55.890
Cause I kinda became reliant on the AFL probably longer than I needed to be.
00:17:56.700 --> 00:18:01.230
And I'm still thankful my therapist ripped it out of my shoe one day and just said enough, you don't need this.
00:18:01.230 --> 00:18:01.529
Like.
00:18:02.519 --> 00:18:05.339
If you just keep using it, you're going to be come relying on it.
00:18:05.339 --> 00:18:11.009
You already are pretty reliant on it and it may just cause more good than harm or more harm than good.
00:18:12.390 --> 00:18:13.079
And she was right.
00:18:13.109 --> 00:18:17.759
And it's hard because you take that out and you immediately start working, walking crappier.
00:18:18.869 --> 00:18:19.470
However.
00:18:20.490 --> 00:18:21.420
That's short term.
00:18:21.809 --> 00:18:22.769
Longer-term.
00:18:23.670 --> 00:18:24.630
I don't need the AFO.
00:18:24.630 --> 00:18:25.829
I don't want the AFO.
00:18:26.009 --> 00:18:29.220
I'm really glad I don't have the AFO anymore.
00:18:29.279 --> 00:18:30.000
It is.
00:18:30.930 --> 00:18:34.619
It's there if I need it, but I don't need it, but it wasn't easy.
00:18:34.619 --> 00:18:40.049
It did take work to go from walking pretty good with the AFO to then taking the AFL out.
00:18:40.769 --> 00:18:43.019
Which for those that don't know is an ankle foot orthotic.
00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:47.789
Um, You know, It was tough in the beginning because.
00:18:48.359 --> 00:18:49.410
That was helpful.
00:18:49.470 --> 00:18:51.779
And then my walking got worse, taking it away.
00:18:52.650 --> 00:18:56.309
But it was again temporary and over time, my walking got a lot better.
00:18:56.369 --> 00:18:56.819
Obviously.
00:18:56.819 --> 00:18:57.839
Now I can run.
00:18:59.490 --> 00:19:04.049
You know, there, there were a lot more things to the story for me because I had some other things going on.
00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:08.910
So it's really hard to tell exactly, but I just, I think there are things you can get real.
00:19:08.970 --> 00:19:10.950
You can be overly safe.
00:19:12.150 --> 00:19:17.279
Which is a good thing, but also just be wary that you can honestly be too safe.
00:19:17.279 --> 00:19:19.349
Sometimes if you don't push a little bit.
00:19:20.130 --> 00:19:23.700
And if you're really concerned about your safety, like put all the systems.
00:19:24.329 --> 00:19:25.799
People in place to help you.
00:19:25.799 --> 00:19:29.069
I achieve that next thing, whatever it is, you know?
00:19:29.460 --> 00:19:33.089
Whether it's mats on the floor and you want to walk or you want to run like.
00:19:34.410 --> 00:19:35.460
Um, I'm guessing most.
00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:37.829
Stroke survivors out there are not 6 48.
00:19:38.670 --> 00:19:43.859
There's a lot of equipment, you know, talk to your physical therapist, talk to your doctors, see, Hey, I want to try this.
00:19:44.369 --> 00:19:45.539
But I want to do it safe.
00:19:45.660 --> 00:19:46.710
What do you suggest?
00:19:46.710 --> 00:19:49.799
What can I do to try to do this safely so I can begin.
00:19:50.759 --> 00:19:52.470
To do something like, say start running.
00:19:52.589 --> 00:19:55.829
You know, I stupidly just, I mean, I think I was pretty good at the time.
00:19:55.859 --> 00:19:57.059
By the time I started running.
00:19:58.500 --> 00:19:59.789
I was walking very well.
00:19:59.819 --> 00:20:02.819
And I was surprised I was able to run so well.
00:20:03.809 --> 00:20:06.509
I mean, again, it was awkward, but it was, it was safe.
00:20:08.279 --> 00:20:09.539
So, yeah, it's all about balance.
00:20:10.049 --> 00:20:10.799
That's it.
00:20:11.069 --> 00:20:12.779
It's about keeping the ego in check.
00:20:12.930 --> 00:20:16.170
Um, I have a lot more on this, so I think I'll save it probably for.
00:20:16.619 --> 00:20:21.390
Later in the week when we wrap up again, I'll have an episode out on Wednesday with Jason Lopes.
00:20:21.420 --> 00:20:22.859
That'll be a great episode.
00:20:23.880 --> 00:20:25.769
Just a couple last things to reflect on.
00:20:26.819 --> 00:20:28.650
Things to ask yourself each and every day.
00:20:29.430 --> 00:20:36.809
You know, when, when you're going through it, whether you're working out, whether it's training, whether you're at the computer, whether you're trying to push yourself as some sort of way as a stroke survivor.
00:20:37.769 --> 00:20:41.369
So key questions, ask yourself, is my ego helping or hurting right now?
00:20:41.400 --> 00:20:43.470
What can I, what can I learn today?
00:20:43.859 --> 00:20:46.559
From everything I'm going through, where do I need help?
00:20:46.589 --> 00:20:48.000
Who do, who can I ask?
00:20:48.299 --> 00:20:50.130
How do I want to ask for help?
00:20:50.640 --> 00:20:52.019
And what's the next small win.
00:20:52.950 --> 00:20:54.869
Again lots more to talk about.
00:20:55.440 --> 00:20:56.220
Wrapping up though.
00:20:56.220 --> 00:20:58.559
I challenged everybody to do.
00:20:58.559 --> 00:21:03.299
I really identify one area where you might be holding you back and I'm going to do this too.
00:21:03.299 --> 00:21:04.859
And we'll see where we end up on Friday.
00:21:05.640 --> 00:21:07.319
But where's my ego holding me back.
00:21:07.829 --> 00:21:10.529
And what's one small action that could take to address it.
00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:15.960
Maybe even one step further is how can I really put that into the overall plan?
00:21:17.880 --> 00:21:23.069
So yeah, again, I invite you to think about that chair that you can hit me up on social media.
00:21:23.069 --> 00:21:25.109
You can hit me up on, on, right on the podcasts.
00:21:25.109 --> 00:21:28.440
I think on every platform there's a, you can text the podcast if you want.
00:21:29.640 --> 00:21:35.309
Definitely feel free to send me for send me an email, hit me up on the website, survivors science.com.
00:21:36.269 --> 00:21:40.140
And again, remember ego could be your engine or your anchor.
00:21:40.140 --> 00:21:41.400
It's all in how you use it.
00:21:41.400 --> 00:21:43.859
I think it definitely has positive effects.
00:21:43.859 --> 00:21:44.130
So.
00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:46.650
Really fired up about this topic.
00:21:46.680 --> 00:21:46.769
A.
00:21:47.039 --> 00:21:54.269
Again, I'll be back on Wednesday with lots more with the episode with Jason, and then I'll see again on Friday, but I hope everybody has a good start to the holiday week.
00:21:54.599 --> 00:21:57.599
Or the holiday season rather hope you had a great Thanksgiving and.
00:21:57.930 --> 00:21:58.950
Yeah, we'll chat soon.
00:21:58.950 --> 00:21:59.519
Bye.
Survivor Science Newsletter: Helping You Rebuild Your Brain, Inspiring Resilience, and Navigate Your Second Chance! 💖
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